DS and girlfriend just told us they are applying to colleges on opposite sides of the country!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

+1. OP you are putting the cart way ahead of the horse here. And as much as you like to think they are being super mature by not making their college decisions based on each other...actually that's exactly what they ARE doing. He is closing off all these doors for himself by deciding to not even APPLYING to an entire (substantial!) geographic of schools...that shows a serious lack in judgment and just plain common sense. If anything it sounds like a weird dramatic teenage romcom drama-esque way of thinking. I certainly would not be supportive of this, much less proud...

I actually WANT him to stay in California. It is much, much less expensive and he has always talked about going to Stanford or Pomona.

Where do you live in California that is cheaper than DC, for example?

[Anonymous]

The kids sound immature. OP, please try to persuade your son to apply to the schools he wants to go to, regardless of this weird plan. For all you know, they will break up a week after applications are due.

[Anonymous]

The kids sound immature. OP, please try to persuade your son to apply to the schools he wants to go to, regardless of this weird plan. For all you know, they will break up a week after applications are due.

[Anonymous]

I would advise your son in the strongest possible terms to do a hard breakup with his girlfriend BEFORE he leaves for college -- none of this "we will breakup for college and then maybe get back together after" -- and to apply to colleges without reference to what she is doing or where she might go. It is tough but he will be a better man for it.

The idea that she "owns" the East Coast is ridiculous. He should apply where he thinks is a good fit for him regardless of where it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised by some of the "stupid" responses. We are in Los Angeles, too and DD and her the boyfriend decided to do the same thing. DD applied only to music conservatories back east and her boyfriend applied to colleges only in California. Both got into top programs and they broke up. Second semester, their junior year, they had a chance meeting in Europe and started dating again - long distance until he graduated and then he joined her in NY. They were married a year later.

So... not so stupid. He got into a top medical school and she graduated from the top music school in the country and is now a professional musician.

Glad it worked out.

Glad they got in where they had hoped. Not everyone is so lucky, so cutting off half a country from the applications is just dumb. If she had gone to a conservatory in Oberlin Ohio, and he a college in Maine, they would still have been pretty darn far apart.

[Anonymous]

OP's son doesn't want to leave California. Wake up, Parents, this is a teen excuse. And the girlfriend doesn't want to stay in California. Making this about preserving their future relationship is a face-saving measure as well as ending the debate/ discussion with parents.

Geez, are you guys seriously the parents of teenagers?

[Anonymous]

I'm fine with that explanation being the actual reason from the kids perspective, but in this case the parent is the one who seems on board with the rationale. Also, I'd encourage my child to do a bit more soul searching about the reasons for choosing certain parts of the country and not "blame" the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

Seriously, this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's son doesn't want to leave California. Wake up, Parents, this is a teen excuse. And the girlfriend doesn't want to stay in California. Making this about preserving their future relationship is a face-saving measure as well as ending the debate/ discussion with parents.

Geez, are you guys seriously the parents of teenagers?

This. The kids are rationalizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
They sound really stupid and so do you, for being proud of them.

1. College decisions should have nothing to do with who you're dating and where they're going.

2. It's only application time. They're not sure they're even getting in, but I'm 100% sure they won't go to the ones they didn't apply to! Talk of closing doors.

Unbelievable.

Oh, chill. I am thrilled they don't plan to go to the same college and stay exclusive.

They will get into the colleges they choose - trust me on that.

You really need to calm down, PP - this is my kid and this is his life. Nothing to do with you. If you have nothing to add but pathetic "you're stupid" insults move on.

Unless you have serious money to donate to these schools or the kids are applying to totally non-competitive schools, it is the height of arrogance to say this. You know as well as me that very competitive schools are essentially lotteries. They could fill multiple incoming classes with qualified applicants; once they weed out the kids who don't have the grades/SAT scores, they're still left with at least three or four times the number of kids who can actually go. Whether your kid ultimately gets in is essentially pure chance, unless you are Bill Gates, your kid cured cancer, or your kid is an elite recruited athlete.