DS wish to play sports against parents consent

[Anonymous]

DS wish to play football in HS much against both parents consent. He says that is what makes him happy now, after having participated in various clubs and leagues playing other sports such as soccer and swim team. He was good at playing these other activites and we the parents spent considerable amount of time, energy, travel, and resources on these activites plus others. At each one of them he excelled to a fairly high levels but did not pursue to keep going, instead finding another activity. We are not happy with his decision to keep quitting an activity in pursuit of another when he could excel in the activity he showed interest, capability, and us having invested serious time and resoruces. Besides, we are not happy with his choice of football because of injury concerns and his choice to play a position which we feel contributes nothing other than playign offense. Anyhow, we even let him try that for sometime now but we cannot keep supporting his schedule anymore due to travel and time involved. We have other children to take care of as well, and we told we both cannot commit the time and resources required to play football going forward, especially given he has thrown away all the other activities we spent serious time and effort on.

Are we wrong to feel undone with all the effort we put in along with him all these years for him to now throw it all away and do something else totally against our wishes. And, if he insists on it, are we supposed to support him by sacrificing more of our personal time to enable this? where does this end if we keep doing it. We feel enough is enough and time to us to attend to the other things we need to spend time on, and let him focus on academics or play a sport where he and us invested resources already.

[Anonymous]

I don't see the problem with a kid playing different sports. That's what young people should be doing. If you don't have the resources to support him playing football, or are concerned about injuries, that's one thing, but I don't think you should make an issue of him switching sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS wish to play football in HS much against both parents consent. He says that is what makes him happy now, after having participated in various clubs and leagues playing other sports such as soccer and swim team. He was good at playing these other activites and we the parents spent considerable amount of time, energy, travel, and resources on these activites plus others. At each one of them he excelled to a fairly high levels but did not pursue to keep going, instead finding another activity. We are not happy with his decision to keep quitting an activity in pursuit of another when he could excel in the activity he showed interest, capability, and us having invested serious time and resoruces. Besides, we are not happy with his choice of football because of injury concerns and his choice to play a position which we feel contributes nothing other than playign offense. Anyhow, we even let him try that for sometime now but we cannot keep supporting his schedule anymore due to travel and time involved. We have other children to take care of as well, and we told we both cannot commit the time and resources required to play football going forward, especially given he has thrown away all the other activities we spent serious time and effort on.

Are we wrong to feel undone with all the effort we put in along with him all these years for him to now throw it all away and do something else totally against our wishes. And, if he insists on it, are we supposed to support him by sacrificing more of our personal time to enable this? where does this end if we keep doing it. We feel enough is enough and time to us to attend to the other things we need to spend time on, and let him focus on academics or play a sport where he and us invested resources already.

Yes. It's his life; your investment doesn't buy you a share of it. Also, it's not about you, unless you make it about you.

[Anonymous]

Is your son even allowed to play football without your consent? Like, isn't there a form that you have to sign?

And in any case, you should stop being dramatic about him "throwing it all away" and just lay out for him the reasons you don't want him to play football, and your unwillingness to sacrifice your time and money to enable it. If you aren't able to drive him to games and travel because you have other obligations, tell him so. If he wants to play, he needs to figure out how to make it happen without excessively burdening you or his siblings.

And let go of the "investment" idea. He doesn't owe you anything, including continuing to pursue a recreational activity he's not interested in and doesn't enjoy, because you spent time and money on it earlier. Stop getting so invested in each new activity.

[Anonymous]

FFS, let the kid play and drop this "investment" nonsense. Did you really expect a KID to understand and plan around "all your time and investment" over a rec activity? Did you really expect him, as he went along playing those other sports, to think to himself, "wow, I better really plan to love this for life, because my mom invested in it!" Get real!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't let my child play football. But not because it would be a "waste" of previous "investment" in other sports. Jeepers!

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's his life and it is okay to try different sports. However, if your DS had advanced so far ahead in a sports activity close enough to put him on the path to make an advantage for college admissions, then if he drops it at that point and chase another activity that isn't going to provide that benefit other than his pleasure, would you recommend it? DS has reached a level close but not enough, but at least he has a chance in other activities. He knows all these things as well, but we feel when they are 14-15 they just don't get the importance of it. This could help him secure a better college admission, why shouldn't we try to insist on him not quitting that and chasing after another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't let my child play football. But not because it would be a "waste" of previous "investment" in other sports. Jeepers!

That just adds another dimension to it, and our main concern is injury as he is probably up against an offense line on average 30-40 pounds bigger than him. We have tried all the usual arguments, and he is adamant other sports is just as injury prone and football makes him stronger mentally and physically. We feel the downside outweighs the upside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't let my child play football. But not because it would be a "waste" of previous "investment" in other sports. Jeepers!

That just adds another dimension to it, and our main concern is injury as he is probably up against an offense line on average 30-40 pounds bigger than him. We have tried all the usual arguments, and he is adamant other sports is just as injury prone and football makes him stronger mentally and physically. We feel the downside outweighs the upside.

He is wrong and you should show him articles about chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). I disagree with your overall belief about switching sports but I agree that football is a terrible choice and you should not allow it.

Have him read this story: https://www.gq.com/story/the-concussion-diaries-high-school-football-cte

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's his life and it is okay to try different sports. However, if your DS had advanced so far ahead in a sports activity close enough to put him on the path to make an advantage for college admissions, then if he drops it at that point and chase another activity that isn't going to provide that benefit other than his pleasure, would you recommend it? DS has reached a level close but not enough, but at least he has a chance in other activities. He knows all these things as well, but we feel when they are 14-15 they just don't get the importance of it. This could help him secure a better college admission, why shouldn't we try to insist on him not quitting that and chasing after another.

What does the coach say? I'd assume that if your child is as advanced as you say, they have a coach who is invested in their future and have been working w/for many years...

[Anonymous]

The only legit argument you have is that football is dangerous. And, even that argument isn't going to hold water in your house because you already let him play some football. He likes it. Nothing you can do about that.

In contrast, my son brought up trying out for punter (and he punts further and with greater accuracy than your standard teen punter). I said no. He asked again. I said no. He moved on.

None of us are investing in youth sport for any real reason to beyond character development, fitness and fun, no matter what storyline we tell ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's his life and it is okay to try different sports. However, if your DS had advanced so far ahead in a sports activity close enough to put him on the path to make an advantage for college admissions, then if he drops it at that point and chase another activity that isn't going to provide that benefit other than his pleasure, would you recommend it? DS has reached a level close but not enough, but at least he has a chance in other activities. He knows all these things as well, but we feel when they are 14-15 they just don't get the importance of it. This could help him secure a better college admission, why shouldn't we try to insist on him not quitting that and chasing after another.

Playing for a D1 college team is a serious commitment. It is a job -- no, I do not want my son to have an all-consuming job in college so that he picks a major to support his athleticism. No way.

Plus, If your kid has had enough at 14-15, he won't be able to sustain it with excellence and is better off going for a surer thing: better grades. Just let him be a kid.

[Anonymous]

If you were concerned about injury, you probably shouldn't have let him play it at all. This undercuts your argument plus you spent so much time talking about the loss of investment and the other sports he tried, etc. however, you are the parents so you get to decide on whatever basis you want. My kids can't do football due to injuries and I doubt I'd allow a travel sport but they are supposed to be trying different things right now so I don't worry about things that were tried in the past and are no longer fun.

[Anonymous]

Because GOD forbid he doesn't get into absolutely the very, very best college he might ever possibly get into! There is a school for everyone and given what you say about your kid he should do and be fine wherever he goes. Let him be, let him explore the world and his interests, let him become a whole human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's his life and it is okay to try different sports. However, if your DS had advanced so far ahead in a sports activity close enough to put him on the path to make an advantage for college admissions, then if he drops it at that point and chase another activity that isn't going to provide that benefit other than his pleasure, would you recommend it? DS has reached a level close but not enough, but at least he has a chance in other activities. He knows all these things as well, but we feel when they are 14-15 they just don't get the importance of it. This could help him secure a better college admission, why shouldn't we try to insist on him not quitting that and chasing after another.

Yes. It's his life. I mean, you can try telling him, "Son, we want you to keep doing this activity, even though you want to stop doing it, because it will help you get into a good college," but I wouldn't expect him to change his mind.