DS wish to play sports against parents consent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret to inform you:
it is HIS life, not your's to live for or through him.

When it comes to extracurriculars and activities, the kids should be allowed to explore what they are interested in and figure it out. It's not up to a parent to tell a kid what they are and are not allowed to be interested in, only to guide and support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only legit argument you have is that football is dangerous. And, even that argument isn't going to hold water in your house because you already let him play some football. He likes it. Nothing you can do about that.

In contrast, my son brought up trying out for punter (and he punts further and with greater accuracy than your standard teen punter). I said no. He asked again. I said no. He moved on.

None of us are investing in youth sport for any real reason to beyond character development, fitness and fun, no matter what storyline we tell ourselves.

+1. You are waaaaay overthinking this. If the answer is no, it's no.

I have four kids. Some of them would have liked to participate in activities that at various times either conflicted with our priorities as parents (DH is completely against football -- flag was ok, no tackle), or would have required a punishing driving schedule, or too much of an up-front investment. We said no, the kid was disappointed, we helped that child find something else, and we moved on. I do not worry that I somehow shut down the next Michael Jordan b/c we couldn't handle travel basketball as a family.

Don't know why you felt compelled to indicate the number of kids you have. It's as irrevelant as your example. If you had initially told your DC 'yes' as OP did, let your kid practice and become part of the team and then changed your mind and said 'no', you might have had something to contribute. But, you didn't. You just said 'no' - which was fine and is what OP should have done in the first place. But, she didn't.

The logistics of four kids are the cause for me saying "no." OP has different reasons, but they are still her reasons, and her son doesn't get to decide for her. She is giving her son the power to say that her reasons don't matter. My point is that if her reasons lead her to the conclusion that the answer is "no," then just because he reeeeaaallly wants to do it, that doesn't overrule her reasons. My point was about reasons, and that those reasons don't have to be entirely visible to or acceptable to a child. OK?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some of you are saying we flip flopped, it's not like that. Probably correct to say we caved. We figured since he is insisting on playing only football and since that is the only fall sports for boys starting in August, it is better to engage in a physical activity rather than do nothing in summer and fall.

Anyhow, he will play the first game, and we will go from there. There are couple of home games coming after that, and then the big homecoming game for the varsity team, all that he could participate, and in another 3 weeks he'll be ready to finish up having done most of the season. We spoke about injuries and concerns about CET, and he has come to realize we aren't unreasonable about it, and so he is ready to move on as long as he has a good exit plan.

Cross country, soccer, golf are offered at our HS for boys in the fall.

+1. I don't think there is a school in America where football is the only boy's fall sport. And I was. Raised in Deep South football county. You are a lot less sympathetic when you make up BS excuses. He begged youcaved and now he needs to finish the season.

And, BTW, if he quits mid season, it is hard to see how a coach-- academic or athletic-- would ever let him on another school team.

Even the coaches understand when a parent pulls a kid from football.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some of you are saying we flip flopped, it's not like that. Probably correct to say we caved. We figured since he is insisting on playing only football and since that is the only fall sports for boys starting in August, it is better to engage in a physical activity rather than do nothing in summer and fall.

Anyhow, he will play the first game, and we will go from there. There are couple of home games coming after that, and then the big homecoming game for the varsity team, all that he could participate, and in another 3 weeks he'll be ready to finish up having done most of the season. We spoke about injuries and concerns about CET, and he has come to realize we aren't unreasonable about it, and so he is ready to move on as long as he has a good exit plan.

Cross country, soccer, golf are offered at our HS for boys in the fall.

+1. I don't think there is a school in America where football is the only boy's fall sport. And I was. Raised in Deep South football county. You are a lot less sympathetic when you make up BS excuses. He begged youcaved and now he needs to finish the season.

And, BTW, if he quits mid season, it is hard to see how a coach-- academic or athletic-- would ever let him on another school team.

Even the coaches understand when a parent pulls a kid from football.

No...they don't. Not sure how you came up with that statement but you obviously never played team sports in high school. Coaches may tell you to your face that they understand but behind your back it's a different story, and your kid WILL have repucussions from the athletic department for quitting mid season. As well as from teammates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some of you are saying we flip flopped, it's not like that. Probably correct to say we caved. We figured since he is insisting on playing only football and since that is the only fall sports for boys starting in August, it is better to engage in a physical activity rather than do nothing in summer and fall.

Anyhow, he will play the first game, and we will go from there. There are couple of home games coming after that, and then the big homecoming game for the varsity team, all that he could participate, and in another 3 weeks he'll be ready to finish up having done most of the season. We spoke about injuries and concerns about CET, and he has come to realize we aren't unreasonable about it, and so he is ready to move on as long as he has a good exit plan.

Cross country, soccer, golf are offered at our HS for boys in the fall.

+1. I don't think there is a school in America where football is the only boy's fall sport. And I was. Raised in Deep South football county. You are a lot less sympathetic when you make up BS excuses. He begged youcaved and now he needs to finish the season.

And, BTW, if he quits mid season, it is hard to see how a coach-- academic or athletic-- would ever let him on another school team.

Even the coaches understand when a parent pulls a kid from football.

Sure. They understand the parents don't take commitment seriously. And that the next time they let the kid take a place on a team away from another kid, it is entirely possible that the parents will pull the kid again mid season. So they choose the kid whose parents don't have a track record of pulling him or her off of a team mid-season.

Whether it's the kid's fault or the parents, the end result is the same-- a kid who can't be depended on.

Kids pay for parents bad decisions or unlucky circumstances all the time. And every one of you who wants their kid in a school with McLean's FARMs rate instead of Lee's knows this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only legit argument you have is that football is dangerous. And, even that argument isn't going to hold water in your house because you already let him play some football. He likes it. Nothing you can do about that.

In contrast, my son brought up trying out for punter (and he punts further and with greater accuracy than your standard teen punter). I said no. He asked again. I said no. He moved on.

None of us are investing in youth sport for any real reason to beyond character development, fitness and fun, no matter what storyline we tell ourselves.

+1. You are waaaaay overthinking this. If the answer is no, it's no.

I have four kids. Some of them would have liked to participate in activities that at various times either conflicted with our priorities as parents (DH is completely against football -- flag was ok, no tackle), or would have required a punishing driving schedule, or too much of an up-front investment. We said no, the kid was disappointed, we helped that child find something else, and we moved on. I do not worry that I somehow shut down the next Michael Jordan b/c we couldn't handle travel basketball as a family.

Don't know why you felt compelled to indicate the number of kids you have. It's as irrevelant as your example. If you had initially told your DC 'yes' as OP did, let your kid practice and become part of the team and then changed your mind and said 'no', you might have had something to contribute. But, you didn't. You just said 'no' - which was fine and is what OP should have done in the first place. But, she didn't.

The logistics of four kids are the cause for me saying "no." OP has different reasons, but they are still her reasons, and her son doesn't get to decide for her. She is giving her son the power to say that her reasons don't matter. My point is that if her reasons lead her to the conclusion that the answer is "no," then just because he reeeeaaallly wants to do it, that doesn't overrule her reasons. My point was about reasons, and that those reasons don't have to be entirely visible to or acceptable to a child. OK?

Of course OP can say no to football-- for any reason, or no reason. That's parenting.

But, that's not what OP did. She said yes, let her kid get a month into the season, and then changed her mind. Not because of hazing, or grades or injury, mind you. But because she never *really meant it* when she said yes, and hoped the situation would smewhow work out without her having to be the bad guy. When he reeeallly wanted to do it, she DID let him overrule her.

So, not the same thing as establishing a rule at the outset and sticking with it. At all.

[Anonymous]

You get to set boundaries on your kids sports participation, then within those boundaries let them do as they wish.

[Anonymous]

Slightly off topic but I just received a news that a good friend of mine from college (we are both 40+) just had a pool side accident and injured his neck. We still do not know how the extent of damage to his nerve, but the best scenario appears wheel-chair with shoulder/arm/hand/finger movement intact. Could be worse that he may be permanently paralyzed neck-down. Let's say he has another 35+ or so years left in his life, and now his family (wife, his parents, his sibling) must face what and how to care for him for this long years to come?

I don't know how much of the potential injury Football brings, but I sure do not want to see my kid in paralyzed stage for the rest of his life starting in HS.....