I believe in God...and I think s/he's a nasty SOB

[Anonymous]

I have decided that God exists. But s/he's not the merciful, benevolent being that many would like to believe. S/he's a nasty SOB who doesn't care what happens to any one of us, but out of his/her own vanity and egocentricity, decided to create us. S/he has abandoned us; and instead, sits idly by while we destroy ourselves and each other. Pain and suffering is just a spectrum, some of us on both end of the extreme, but most of us are somewhere in the middle.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, has given me peace (not even my short-lived attempt at atheism) until I came to this realization. That is all.

[Anonymous]

You sound very angry.

[Anonymous]

O KAY

[Anonymous]

OP, please tell us a little more about what brought you to this conclusion. And, a follow up question - if you are referring to specific pain/ suffering in your own life, are you just blaming God for that?

[Anonymous]

I hear you, OP. If I were God, things would be different.
I believe in free will.
I can't blame God for evil acts that we do to each other.
I see a lot of terrible things because of my work. Why do I blame God for a terrible life a child is born into? The blame should be on the parents who created her. The people around her who let terrible things happen to her.
My faith is a constant questioning of God. At one point I thought I was an atheist, but then I realized I DID believe in God, I was just very angry with him.
If you don't believe God is love, maybe you don't believe in God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound very angry.

+1

I feel really sorry for you, OP. God doesn't promise we won't tested, only that we won't be overcome. I've met genocide survivors who have a healthier mindset than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound very angry.

+1

I feel really sorry for you, OP. God doesn't promise we won't tested, only that we won't be overcome. I've met genocide survivors who have a healthier mindset than you

Please. You don't pity me. You feel superior to me. Otherwise, you wouldn't have posted this.

[Anonymous]

If you believe in God then you also likely believe in Satan. Who is more likely to wreak havoc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you believe in God then you also likely believe in Satan. Who is more likely to wreak havoc?

Perhaps they are one and the same.

[Anonymous]

Why do you believe God exists? Have you experienced something which confirms that God is real?

I struggle in my faith, but I believe in a creator. I think we have free will and that is why things can be so fu$@ed up.

[Anonymous]

Please. You don't pity me. You feel superior to me.

New poster. I don't pity you or feel superior to you. I'm a minister. And I have been extremely angry with God. Most of my work has been in prisons and in Hospice. It's hard to see so much awful every single day and not question God's motives.

Here's what I think, OP. God does care. He cares very much. God is the one loving source of all that is. He created all of us perfectly. We were created by Love to be Love in our world. But good cannot exist without bad just as light cannot exist without dark. At least not in our world. God gave all of us free will. You wouldn't want to live in a world where you were merely a puppet with no choices at all. And you wouldn't be able to learn and grow. The only way we can really learn to completely love another is by understanding what it feels like not to be loved. The only way to really learn compassion is through our own suffering. We cannot understand peace unless we've known struggle. Our purpose for living is to learn to be kinder, stronger, more loving, more compassionate beings. It really is that simple. I'm not sure I could provide real, genuine, compassionate care to dying patients and their families had I not suffered a painful loss. I can minister to victims of domestic violence because I escaped a horribly abusive marriage.

You say you cannot find peace. You are incorrect about that. And I don't say that lightly. You absolutely can find peace. You are peace. If you are able to stop, be still, and breathe, you'll begin to feel that peace. It's not outside of you. It's not something God holds onto in heaven. It's not found in complicated prayer or meditation. It's found in stillness.

In this moment, I am praying for you. I know you are angry and hurting. And that pain is so real. And so big. It can seem overwhelming. But it's not. It's not bigger than God. It's not bigger than peace. It's temporary. It will pass. It will get better. I hope you will stop and breathe slowly. Drop your focus to that quiet space in your heart. Just breathe and know that God is always working things out for your highest and best. The only thing you need to do is let go and allow Spirit to show you the peace that is already in you. Listen carefully to that quiet voice telling you that all is well. Because it is. I see you completely surrounded by the light of God. I see you calm and at peace. I see all things working out exactly as they should because you are able to relax, let go, and allow God to work.

Be at peace, my friend. I will be praying for you. Affirming peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound very angry.

+1

I feel really sorry for you, OP. God doesn't promise we won't tested, only that we won't be overcome. I've met genocide survivors who have a healthier mindset than you

Please. You don't pity me. You feel superior to me. Otherwise, you wouldn't have posted this.

No, I don't feel superior. My heart is breaking that you are walking around with such horrific emotional wounds that this is the only way you can conceive of God. I survived six years of childhood sexual abuse and, as I said, I know people who lost not just limbs, but every single person they loved to mob violence. I can imagine what you went through that was worse than that. And yet, you must have been through even more horrible experiences. No one is that angry or pessimistic just on their own.

[Anonymous]

I'm kind of with you OP. It's hard to argue against a creator, but I can't fathom worshiping whoever allows babies to get cancer or be horribly abused, and then there's natural disasters, like Houston at the moment.

It boggles my mind to see someone on TV saying "We only survived because God was watching over us!" after being rescued, without addressing those who didn't survive, why wasn't God watching over them? Like the story I read today of the six month old baby who drowned when he was ripped out of his parents arms by flood waters while they were trying to stay alive in a tree! Why wasn't God watching over him? No, just you and your kids, right lady on TV? And by the way, who exactly caused the hurricane and the flood?

I'm sure there's a minister out there who has an explanation for all this, but the bottom line is nobody knows the answer.

[Anonymous]

There is NO God OP. It's not his fault. Whatever mess we are in, we made it ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Actually I agree with you OP. I don't believe in free will, personally (free will doesn't make sense at all), so I have come to a similar conclusion as yours.

I mostly don't think God is nasty, exactly, just seeing all of this from a totally alien perspective. Rape, murder, genocide, families being torn apart - all of that is God's will. But I don't even think this Being sees it as serious. Maybe like a video game.

Here's why I don't believe "all bad things are free will, not God's will":
- why do 10-year olds get terminal cancer?
- we all act from reactive behavior because we're programmed through mental conditioning. It takes YEARS of meditation and journaling to get out of reactive thinking and truly "think freely". And who put our pre-programmed mental patterns into place? Yeah.
- There are personal stories of divine beings like angels intervening in people's lives ALL THE TIME. If "everything is free will" then no way is someone going to experience an angel catching their kid before it dies from a fall or pulling them out of harm's way before a bus hits them (stories like this exist).
- God can't actually have the powers of a God if free will exists. It would mean She/He isn't omnipotent and omniscient.