I can tell my fil to stop this, right?

[Anonymous]

I have a lot of issues with my father in law. But here's just one. He tickles my son on his butt (over the clothes). I can tell him to stop, right? Ds giggles the same as when I tickle his feet. Fil is overly sensitive and prone to fits, so my husband likes to keep the peace, therefore I pick my battles. But tell me, am I crazy or uptight to want to tell my fil to stop touching my son's butt?

And how would you word it?

[Anonymous]

"We are teaching our son that the bathing suit area should only be touched by a doctor or by Mommy and Daddy. Please don't tickle him there; it will confuse our lessons on privacy and propriety."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We are teaching our son that the bathing suit area should only be touched by a doctor or by Mommy and Daddy. Please don't tickle him there; it will confuse our lessons on privacy and propriety."

Good approach.

[Anonymous]

I think you're uptight but well within your rights to say you don't want him to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're uptight but well within your rights to say you don't want him to do it.

NP. Why on Earth would anyone tickle a child's buttocks?! Tickle the feet or sides, under the neck, and leave the kid alone.

Creepy and weird.

[Anonymous]

Your FIL sounds like a weirdo. Would the PP say the same if the child was female? 20:25's suggestion is good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're uptight but well within your rights to say you don't want him to do it.

I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

You are uptight, but yes you can tell him to stop. I always used to gently tickle my son's butt and tell him I was "tickling his fancy" when he was a toddler to his great delight. Not everything needs to be sexualized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are uptight, but yes you can tell him to stop. I always used to gently tickle my son's butt and tell him I was "tickling his fancy" when he was a toddler to his great delight. Not everything needs to be sexualized.

Ew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are uptight, but yes you can tell him to stop. I always used to gently tickle my son's butt and tell him I was "tickling his fancy" when he was a toddler to his great delight. Not everything needs to be sexualized.

Ew.

If you're making this innocent act into a big deal, then YOU are disgusting, my friend.

Not PP you were responding to, BTW.

[Anonymous]

How old is this kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are uptight, but yes you can tell him to stop. I always used to gently tickle my son's butt and tell him I was "tickling his fancy" when he was a toddler to his great delight. Not everything needs to be sexualized.

Ew.

If you're making this innocent act into a big deal, then YOU are disgusting, my friend.

Not PP you were responding to, BTW.

np. I don't think the pp is making a big deal. I never thought to tickle my kids bottom. You don't find that a bit strange?

Op, I woulnd't like it either and I would tell the kid to yell STOP! very loudly. I would tell grandpa to stop if he was too little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are uptight, but yes you can tell him to stop. I always used to gently tickle my son's butt and tell him I was "tickling his fancy" when he was a toddler to his great delight. Not everything needs to be sexualized.

Ew.

If you're making this innocent act into a big deal, then YOU are disgusting, my friend.

Not PP you were responding to, BTW.

np. I don't think the pp is making a big deal. I never thought to tickle my kids bottom. You don't find that a bit strange?

Op, I woulnd't like it either and I would tell the kid to yell STOP! very loudly. I would tell grandpa to stop if he was too little.

You'd drag a child into this--a very young child who may think it's a fun game, and not understand why he should yell STOP at someone he loves--because you're too much of a coward to directly speak to your FIL?

WOW.

I have seen a lot of hand-wringing doormats around here, but you take the cake.

Obviously, OP, you should calmly and directly address this with FIL. The script you were given above about bathing suit area is a good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are uptight, but yes you can tell him to stop. I always used to gently tickle my son's butt and tell him I was "tickling his fancy" when he was a toddler to his great delight. Not everything needs to be sexualized.

Ew.

If you're making this innocent act into a big deal, then YOU are disgusting, my friend.

Not PP you were responding to, BTW.

np. I don't think the pp is making a big deal. I never thought to tickle my kids bottom. You don't find that a bit strange?

Op, I woulnd't like it either and I would tell the kid to yell STOP! very loudly. I would tell grandpa to stop if he was too little.

You'd drag a child into this--a very young child who may think it's a fun game, and not understand why he should yell STOP at someone he loves--because you're too much of a coward to directly speak to your FIL?

WOW.

I have seen a lot of hand-wringing doormats around here, but you take the cake.


Obviously, OP, you should calmly and directly address this with FIL. The script you were given above about bathing suit area is a good one.

Calm down. I'm the pp you are calling out. First, op didn't say how old the child was. Obviously, if the child is under two than the parent should speak up first. If the child is over three I think it is a good time to let them know that they have control over their bodies. Sometimes kids may seem like they are enjoying something but, they don't know how to respond when they don't like it and it is being done by an authority figure or someone they love. If over the age of three I would talk to the child and ask them how they feel when grandpa does it. I would tell the child if they didn't like it than they should feel free to tell grandpa to stop.

There was an article in the Washington post about a teacher that for years would have the girls sit in his lap and he would feel them. It wasn't until one girl saw a video about inappropriate touch that she got upset and the teachers knew something was wrong. I'm not saying Grandpa is a doing this but, he is coming close to crossing the line.

I've bolded the last part so you don't go off on me "taking the cake"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are uptight, but yes you can tell him to stop. I always used to gently tickle my son's butt and tell him I was "tickling his fancy" when he was a toddler to his great delight. Not everything needs to be sexualized.

Ew.

If you're making this innocent act into a big deal, then YOU are disgusting, my friend.

Not PP you were responding to, BTW.

np. I don't think the pp is making a big deal. I never thought to tickle my kids bottom. You don't find that a bit strange?

Op, I woulnd't like it either and I would tell the kid to yell STOP! very loudly. I would tell grandpa to stop if he was too little.

You'd drag a child into this--a very young child who may think it's a fun game, and not understand why he should yell STOP at someone he loves--because you're too much of a coward to directly speak to your FIL?

WOW.

I have seen a lot of hand-wringing doormats around here, but you take the cake.


Obviously, OP, you should calmly and directly address this with FIL. The script you were given above about bathing suit area is a good one.

Calm down. I'm the pp you are calling out. First, op didn't say how old the child was. Obviously, if the child is under two than the parent should speak up first. If the child is over three I think it is a good time to let them know that they have control over their bodies. Sometimes kids may seem like they are enjoying something but, they don't know how to respond when they don't like it and it is being done by an authority figure or someone they love. If over the age of three I would talk to the child and ask them how they feel when grandpa does it. I would tell the child if they didn't like it than they should feel free to tell grandpa to stop.

There was an article in the Washington post about a teacher that for years would have the girls sit in his lap and he would feel them. It wasn't until one girl saw a video about inappropriate touch that she got upset and the teachers knew something was wrong. I'm not saying Grandpa is a doing this but, he is coming close to crossing the line.

I've bolded the last part so you don't go off on me "taking the cake"

If you--and I know this is crazy--READ THE ORIGINAL POST, you would have seen that OP describes her child as a TODDLER. So no, the priority here is not to teach Little Billy a lesson and make him confront someone he loves, it is for OP to stand up for her child and tell Bill Sr. to stop the inappropriate behavior.