Upper Elementary activities and playdates

[Anonymous]

So our DD is a rising 4th grader and we are trying to figure out if we are limiting get to much. She does great on school, but she wants to do more activities during the school year and we are not sure how does handle it.

So can folks post their weekly schedules? We're are also curious about playdate etiquette at this age? We are major introverts and really didn't coordinate playdates when she was younger, and now she uses older she is asking to meet up with friends more. Do kids talk or email each other at this age or is it still parents to parents? And WHEN do they meet with friends if they have activities most weekdays -- playdates before practice, dinner with friends after practice or just no socializing outside of activities during week?

We both work so weekends are generally family only time -- do kids have playdates often at this age?

Our situation

We both work and DD is in SACC. we are terrible at carpooling b/c we are introverts and don't have any nearby classmates

Sun - Church, errands, prepare week
Mon - Afternoon playdate or homebody
Tues - Sport practice
wed - Instrument Lesson
thur - Afternoon playdate or homebody
Fri - Club activity
Sat - math turoring, sport game, family outing (hike, museum, dinner), and of course chores we skip during work week

What we are thinking of adding is the club and math turoring

[Anonymous]

School year schedule for our rising 4th grader:

Mon- girls on the run
Tues- math tutoring then swim club
Wed- girls on the run then karate
Thurs: math tutoring then swim
Fri- math tutoring, friend time
Sat- swim meet or friend time
Sun- swim club, swim meet or friend time

She also sees a personal trainer every other week and has exercises that he assigns her that take about 15-20 minutes per day.

Our DD doesn't get much friend time during the week beyond school and GOTR which she does at school with her friends. We let her FaceTime with her friends in the evening if she is done with everything. We let her hang out with friends for extended periods on the weekend- we are liberal with sleepovers because she works very hard. I understand 4th grade is harder because of compacted math, so I don't plan on changing my "weekdays are workdays" approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School year schedule for our rising 4th grader:

Mon- girls on the run
Tues- math tutoring then swim club
Wed- girls on the run then karate
Thurs: math tutoring then swim
Fri- math tutoring, friend time
Sat- swim meet or friend time
Sun- swim club, swim meet or friend time

She also sees a personal trainer every other week and has exercises that he assigns her that take about 15-20 minutes per day.

Our DD doesn't get much friend time during the week beyond school and GOTR which she does at school with her friends. We let her FaceTime with her friends in the evening if she is done with everything. We let her hang out with friends for extended periods on the weekend- we are liberal with sleepovers because she works very hard. I understand 4th grade is harder because of compacted math, so I don't plan on changing my "weekdays are workdays" approach.

Curious about logistics... So you have a SAHP? Driving nanny? Carpool mastery?

[Anonymous]

GOTR is an after school activity so we just drive to her school to pick her up. Karate is walkable from our house. The math and swim are more of a haul- but they are within minutes of each other, so we just have one parent take her to both. That leaves Friday math and Sunday swimming; we just take her. We have another younger kid and I try to maximize the time by having him take nearby lessons during DD's lessons. No nanny or carpool. We have built up a tolerance for this kind of schedule.

[Anonymous]

Oh and we both work, sorry, forgot to answer that.

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM so we can make it work easily but my husband helps too. We don't do playdates during the week. We have swim 4 weeknights. Tutoring the other night. Swim is after 6 so parents rotate. Then we have another activity on Saturday. We'd like to add on more but it gets too much. No carpool. We would make it work if working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM so we can make it work easily but my husband helps too. We don't do playdates during the week. We have swim 4 weeknights. Tutoring the other night. Swim is after 6 so parents rotate. Then we have another activity on Saturday. We'd like to add on more but it gets too much. No carpool. We would make it work if working.

So no socializing outside of activities at that point ? What would you do not you were working -- we are weighing a driving nanny but that is very expensive

[Anonymous]

My twins were in 4th grade last year - they had soccer 2x week plus game on weekends, cub scouts 1x week, writing tutor Sunday morning. I'm a SAHP and they have play dates whenever they want, they ask me, I email or text or call the parent and coordinate. They also have neighborhood friends they just go to their house and ask if they can play.

[Anonymous]

My 4th grader's schedule last year:

Monday: enrichment tutoring in above grade level subject
Tuesday: religious school
Wednesday: remedial tutoring in below grade level subject
Thursday: OT
Friday: nothing
Saturday: club meeting
Sunday: religious school

It's way too much and I wish we could drop something. But the things she wants to drop (ie religious school) are the things I require and the things I think are optional are the activities she most wants. Add in her brother's activities, and there is not enough down time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM so we can make it work easily but my husband helps too. We don't do playdates during the week. We have swim 4 weeknights. Tutoring the other night. Swim is after 6 so parents rotate. Then we have another activity on Saturday. We'd like to add on more but it gets too much. No carpool. We would make it work if working.

So no socializing outside of activities at that point ? What would you do not you were working -- we are weighing a driving nanny but that is very expensive

Swim is in the PM after work hours so if I was working no need for help. My husband could flex his schedule so we probably could make it work. We socialize on weekends. Swim is very social. Either way, with homework and activities we don't socialize during the week. I'd help out another parent every once in a while but I would not do planned play. We come home and eat/homework before anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM so we can make it work easily but my husband helps too. We don't do playdates during the week. We have swim 4 weeknights. Tutoring the other night. Swim is after 6 so parents rotate. Then we have another activity on Saturday. We'd like to add on more but it gets too much. No carpool. We would make it work if working.

So no socializing outside of activities at that point ? What would you do not you were working -- we are weighing a driving nanny but that is very expensive

Swim is in the PM after work hours so if I was working no need for help. My husband could flex his schedule so we probably could make it work. We socialize on weekends. Swim is very social. Either way, with homework and activities we don't socialize during the week. I'd help out another parent every once in a while but I would not do planned play. We come home and eat/homework before anything else.

OP here, unfortunately none of her activities are very social, hence why I wonder how to fit that part of life into the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM so we can make it work easily but my husband helps too. We don't do playdates during the week. We have swim 4 weeknights. Tutoring the other night. Swim is after 6 so parents rotate. Then we have another activity on Saturday. We'd like to add on more but it gets too much. No carpool. We would make it work if working.

So no socializing outside of activities at that point ? What would you do not you were working -- we are weighing a driving nanny but that is very expensive

Swim is in the PM after work hours so if I was working no need for help. My husband could flex his schedule so we probably could make it work. We socialize on weekends. Swim is very social. Either way, with homework and activities we don't socialize during the week. I'd help out another parent every once in a while but I would not do planned play. We come home and eat/homework before anything else.

NP. Only the one kid?

We only have them do activities that they can do together, so basically it's music lessons on Tuesday night, and Hebrew school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM so we can make it work easily but my husband helps too. We don't do playdates during the week. We have swim 4 weeknights. Tutoring the other night. Swim is after 6 so parents rotate. Then we have another activity on Saturday. We'd like to add on more but it gets too much. No carpool. We would make it work if working.

So no socializing outside of activities at that point ? What would you do not you were working -- we are weighing a driving nanny but that is very expensive

Swim is in the PM after work hours so if I was working no need for help. My husband could flex his schedule so we probably could make it work. We socialize on weekends. Swim is very social. Either way, with homework and activities we don't socialize during the week. I'd help out another parent every once in a while but I would not do planned play. We come home and eat/homework before anything else.

NP. Only the one kid?

We only have them do activities that they can do together, so basically it's music lessons on Tuesday night, and Hebrew school.

We have a few but others are older/non-issue. Two kids, two parents you make it work. If we had two we'd divide up. I don't think its fair to not allow kids to do activities because you have two. Two was your choice, find a way. My parents were like you and it sucked. It was all about them and their needs. I could only do activities if my sister did them and we had very different interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM so we can make it work easily but my husband helps too. We don't do playdates during the week. We have swim 4 weeknights. Tutoring the other night. Swim is after 6 so parents rotate. Then we have another activity on Saturday. We'd like to add on more but it gets too much. No carpool. We would make it work if working.

So no socializing outside of activities at that point ? What would you do not you were working -- we are weighing a driving nanny but that is very expensive

Swim is in the PM after work hours so if I was working no need for help. My husband could flex his schedule so we probably could make it work. We socialize on weekends. Swim is very social. Either way, with homework and activities we don't socialize during the week. I'd help out another parent every once in a while but I would not do planned play. We come home and eat/homework before anything else.

OP here, unfortunately none of her activities are very social, hence why I wonder how to fit that part of life into the week.

Kids are in school. School is partly social.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM so we can make it work easily but my husband helps too. We don't do playdates during the week. We have swim 4 weeknights. Tutoring the other night. Swim is after 6 so parents rotate. Then we have another activity on Saturday. We'd like to add on more but it gets too much. No carpool. We would make it work if working.

So no socializing outside of activities at that point ? What would you do not you were working -- we are weighing a driving nanny but that is very expensive

Swim is in the PM after work hours so if I was working no need for help. My husband could flex his schedule so we probably could make it work. We socialize on weekends. Swim is very social. Either way, with homework and activities we don't socialize during the week. I'd help out another parent every once in a while but I would not do planned play. We come home and eat/homework before anything else.

OP here, unfortunately none of her activities are very social, hence why I wonder how to fit that part of life into the week.

Kids are in school. School is partly social.

Our FFX school is super crowded so lunch recess is crazy short -- rest of day is pretty regimented. From our DD descriptions it seems a lot of kids get together outside school (and thus have stronger friendships) but we are outside that and not sure how they even manage with activities (or if activities are the common element)