Upper Elementary activities and playdates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprised at how many people are doing out of school tutoring! This is a thing?

Outside of DCUM, no

Tell that to the Kumon, Mathnasium, Sylvan, etc all around this area. Looks pretty common to me.

They exist but a majority of people are not using them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprised at how many people are doing out of school tutoring! This is a thing?

Outside of DCUM, no

Tell that to the Kumon, Mathnasium, Sylvan, etc all around this area. Looks pretty common to me.

They exist but a majority of people are not using them.

Perhaps a majority of DCUM though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprised at how many people are doing out of school tutoring! This is a thing?

Outside of DCUM, no

Tell that to the Kumon, Mathnasium, Sylvan, etc all around this area. Looks pretty common to me.

They exist but a majority of people are not using them.

Perhaps a majority of DCUM though?

That's why I said it's not a thing OUTSIDE OF DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School year schedule for our rising 4th grader:

Mon- girls on the run
Tues- math tutoring then swim club
Wed- girls on the run then karate
Thurs: math tutoring then swim
Fri- math tutoring, friend time
Sat- swim meet or friend time
Sun- swim club, swim meet or friend time

She also sees a personal trainer every other week and has exercises that he assigns her that take about 15-20 minutes per day.

Our DD doesn't get much friend time during the week beyond school and GOTR which she does at school with her friends. We let her FaceTime with her friends in the evening if she is done with everything. We let her hang out with friends for extended periods on the weekend- we are liberal with sleepovers because she works very hard. I understand 4th grade is harder because of compacted math, so I don't plan on changing my "weekdays are workdays" approach.

This is so sad for your kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM so we can make it work easily but my husband helps too. We don't do playdates during the week. We have swim 4 weeknights. Tutoring the other night. Swim is after 6 so parents rotate. Then we have another activity on Saturday. We'd like to add on more but it gets too much. No carpool. We would make it work if working.

So your child literally has no time to play with friends all week but 4 nights to swim is doable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprised at how many people are doing out of school tutoring! This is a thing?

Outside of DCUM, no

Exactly, most parents actually sit down and help their kids with math and homework if needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So 4 out of 7 nights seems pretty typical?

In the DCUM world. Most 4th graders play in the neighborhood after school, maybe a planned play date here and there with a school friend not on their bus. One sports practice and maybe another activity max.

If you think 4th graders need 4 nights of organized planned activities, tutors, personal trainers, and zero time playing with friends or managing their own time you are setting your child up for social issues, lack of street smarts, common sense, autonomy, and honestly - just childhood. If their only friends are those brought on by paid events, which a few here have mentioned, that is terribly sad. One mom allows her 4th grader to FaceTime friends but not play with them. Really? Wake up parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School year schedule for our rising 4th grader:

Mon- girls on the run
Tues- math tutoring then swim club
Wed- girls on the run then karate
Thurs: math tutoring then swim
Fri- math tutoring, friend time
Sat- swim meet or friend time
Sun- swim club, swim meet or friend time

She also sees a personal trainer every other week and has exercises that he assigns her that take about 15-20 minutes per day.

Our DD doesn't get much friend time during the week beyond school and GOTR which she does at school with her friends. We let her FaceTime with her friends in the evening if she is done with everything. We let her hang out with friends for extended periods on the weekend- we are liberal with sleepovers because she works very hard. I understand 4th grade is harder because of compacted math, so I don't plan on changing my "weekdays are workdays" approach.

This is so sad for your kid

My kid actually wants to add more to this. People are different; what's sad is that you think you stand in judgment of other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a rising 4th and 2nd grader. Both go to an after school martial arts program instead of SACC. They like the activity and have friends there. They also each do one sport per season. We end up being out 2-4 nights per week for practices and usually have a game or practice/activity each Saturday and Sunday. We try to carpool as much as possible with others on the team. We both WOTH. I find they have made good friends with kids on their sports teams and martial arts classes over the years. Play dates spontaneously happen with kids on the street on the weekends. Parents don't organize for the 4th graders anymore. They knock on doors and see who is available. We text for the 2nd grader to ask if they can come over.

We live in a neighborhood with NO 4th graders -- it's all old timers and DINKs, so that organic play date won't happen unless we move. We are several blocks and a busy street away from nearest friend

That's more difficult. I don't enjoy arranging play dates and am usually too tired from the workweek to think ahead. I'd encourage sports and clubs since friendships seem to happen naturally. In your situation it's fine to call, text or email other parents to ask if their kid can come over.

Yeah we just aren't as close to them because we aren't neighbors nor run in same circles. It's been hard -- sometimes they don't even text back! Hate to have to pester people but want to do what's good for DD (and she considers their kid a friend) -- though then we wonder if the other kid maybe doesn't reciprocate friendship, and their parents silence is an awkward way of demuring because we adults aren't really close.

Sending kids knocking on doors is much easier -- any suggestions for which activities have a good social component-- maybe we should be more strategic...

I'd find activities that your child really loves. That way they will find others with common interests. It could be soccer, chess, scouts, baseball, gymnastics, coding, whatever. One of my children found it in soccer. She loves it and made friends with others that are really into it. My other child tried bu hated soccer and found friends with his interests in activities he tried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. That's crazy. You couldn't pay me to put my kid through that. Here's my well rounded, academically advanced kid's schedule:

Mon - home, perhaps go to the local park
Tues - same
Wed - karate at school
Thurs - home, park/playground, read, play etc
Fri - same
Sat and Sun - family time, birthday parties, hikes, museums etc

Let your kids be kids. They are already at school all day, why on earth would they need math tutoring multiple times a week or extra social (but organized) activities? Give your kids the chance to get bored, to learn independently, to be in charge of their own activities and entertainment.

How old is your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So 4 out of 7 nights seems pretty typical?

In the DCUM world. Most 4th graders play in the neighborhood after school, maybe a planned play date here and there with a school friend not on their bus. One sports practice and maybe another activity max.

If you think 4th graders need 4 nights of organized planned activities, tutors, personal trainers, and zero time playing with friends or managing their own time you are setting your child up for social issues, lack of street smarts, common sense, autonomy, and honestly - just childhood. If their only friends are those brought on by paid events, which a few here have mentioned, that is terribly sad. One mom allows her 4th grader to FaceTime friends but not play with them. Really? Wake up parents.

OP here. Welp, we have no neighborhood friends -- so it options are more limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM so we can make it work easily but my husband helps too. We don't do playdates during the week. We have swim 4 weeknights. Tutoring the other night. Swim is after 6 so parents rotate. Then we have another activity on Saturday. We'd like to add on more but it gets too much. No carpool. We would make it work if working.

So your child literally has no time to play with friends all week but 4 nights to swim is doable?

We don't do friends during the week. Why is that a big deal? He doesn't ask. He wants to swim. Between homework/supplementing and eating, no there isn't much time during the week. He can see his friends Saturday after his other activity (his choice) or Sunday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So 4 out of 7 nights seems pretty typical?

In the DCUM world. Most 4th graders play in the neighborhood after school, maybe a planned play date here and there with a school friend not on their bus. One sports practice and maybe another activity max.

If you think 4th graders need 4 nights of organized planned activities, tutors, personal trainers, and zero time playing with friends or managing their own time you are setting your child up for social issues, lack of street smarts, common sense, autonomy, and honestly - just childhood. If their only friends are those brought on by paid events, which a few here have mentioned, that is terribly sad. One mom allows her 4th grader to FaceTime friends but not play with them. Really? Wake up parents.

Have you ever considered that that level of activity is the child's choice. You can't get good at anything doing it one day a week/no real practice so why bother at that point. My child loves having an activity every day. You can have time for everything you discuss too. Its selfish not to allow they to explore their interests. We don't allow all friend contact outside school. Sometimes it is the child and often it is the parent.

My child has SN. So, yes, he'll have supports/therapies/tutors in place if he needs them. We wouldn't tell someone like you that and just say tutoring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. That's crazy. You couldn't pay me to put my kid through that. Here's my well rounded, academically advanced kid's schedule:

Mon - home, perhaps go to the local park
Tues - same
Wed - karate at school
Thurs - home, park/playground, read, play etc
Fri - same
Sat and Sun - family time, birthday parties, hikes, museums etc

Let your kids be kids. They are already at school all day, why on earth would they need math tutoring multiple times a week or extra social (but organized) activities? Give your kids the chance to get bored, to learn independently, to be in charge of their own activities and entertainment.

How old is your kid?

Eight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So 4 out of 7 nights seems pretty typical?

In the DCUM world. Most 4th graders play in the neighborhood after school, maybe a planned play date here and there with a school friend not on their bus. One sports practice and maybe another activity max.

If you think 4th graders need 4 nights of organized planned activities, tutors, personal trainers, and zero time playing with friends or managing their own time you are setting your child up for social issues, lack of street smarts, common sense, autonomy, and honestly - just childhood. If their only friends are those brought on by paid events, which a few here have mentioned, that is terribly sad. One mom allows her 4th grader to FaceTime friends but not play with them. Really? Wake up parents.

Have you ever considered that that level of activity is the child's choice. You can't get good at anything doing it one day a week/no real practice so why bother at that point. My child loves having an activity every day. You can have time for everything you discuss too. Its selfish not to allow they to explore their interests. We don't allow all friend contact outside school. Sometimes it is the child and often it is the parent.

My child has SN. So, yes, he'll have supports/therapies/tutors in place if he needs them. We wouldn't tell someone like you that and just say tutoring.

Amen. I'm one of the people the pp blasted in her "wake up people" post. And my child is totally obsessed with the idea of going to the Olympics and has been for a sustained period of time. She wants to do far more than we schedule her for, and her schedule is already quite full. This is a kid that I catch doing push-ups when she's alone in her room. How do I take a kid as focused and determined as she is, and tell her, sorry about your Olympic dreams but you're just a kid and need to go play? That isn't what she wants. She has friend time (I actually just picked her up from a 6 hour outing with her BFF) but these activities are important to her sense of self.