Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022

[Anonymous]

Family does not understand why we try to stick to our kids’ routines when we visit for holidays. “Can’t you just skip his nap today?” “Would it be so bad if bedtime was at 9 instead of 7?” I mean, if you are volunteering to be the one to handle the overtired toddler for the rest of the day, then sure, let’s just skip nap time.
Or they don’t understand why we don’t want to go hang out in a bar in the middle of the day with small children. Like no, my 19 month old will not be cool sitting there for several hours while you watch the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family does not understand why we try to stick to our kids’ routines when we visit for holidays. “Can’t you just skip his nap today?” “Would it be so bad if bedtime was at 9 instead of 7?” I mean, if you are volunteering to be the one to handle the overtired toddler for the rest of the day, then sure, let’s just skip nap time.
Or they don’t understand why we don’t want to go hang out in a bar in the middle of the day with small children. Like no, my 19 month old will not be cool sitting there for several hours while you watch the game.

It’s like they forget what it’s like to have under 5yo children

[Anonymous]

I feel like a spoiled teen writing this, but drove 13 hours to depend time with my parents and have them have time with my 3 kids. I knew I had some close family coming into town for the entirety of our trip 3 day trip, but my mom springs on me this whole dinner party with a bunch of people we (and my kids) don’t know. My family is immigrants and most of these people don’t try to speak English around my kids (which is their prerogative), but my kids have no idea what’s going on, now their grandparents are too busy to play with them bc they’re cooking and cleaning, and I refuse to get out of my sweats or dress my children in anything fancy and I did get mad at my mom for all of this. When we leave she will complain that she didnt get enough time with her grandchildren and I’ll have to remind her that she yet again chose to spend her time that could have been with her grandchildren hosting a bunch of people that none of us know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe someone touched on this earlier but why do my parents feel the need to give me details about people I don’t know?
“So this woman I was playing pickle ball with… she went to Drexel and majored in organic chemistry!”

My mother will tell me the race/ethnicity of the person she is talking about. Unless that person is white.

My mom thinks she’s saying something positive when she says she loved the Filipino nurse at her doctor’s office. I gently explain that you can say you liked your nurse without identifying her a Filipino and she was like “but the Filipinos are such good nurses.” She thinks she’s giving a compliment. Argh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family does not understand why we try to stick to our kids’ routines when we visit for holidays. “Can’t you just skip his nap today?” “Would it be so bad if bedtime was at 9 instead of 7?” I mean, if you are volunteering to be the one to handle the overtired toddler for the rest of the day, then sure, let’s just skip nap time.
Or they don’t understand why we don’t want to go hang out in a bar in the middle of the day with small children. Like no, my 19 month old will not be cool sitting there for several hours while you watch the game.

This is my in-laws too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My petty vent. My “close talker” aunts and cousin. And to make it 1,000 times worse - the aunts definitely have undiagnosed ADHD and ramble on endlessly. They are oblivious to the social cues you are trying to give them that you aren’t interested in their most recent visit to physical therapy, etc.

+1. This is my sister, god love her. We think she is on the spectrum. The kids rarely see my family as they are in another country. Now that they are older, all my kids can see she is just different- and I guess I should have prepared them more or told them about her a little more. My 14 year old son told me she is like a 'Family Guy' character... I was confused and asked how- and he said it was the close-talking, rapidfire intense convo about any minimal standard subject... things you don't really care about- and you can't really get away. I was equal parts hurt/sad that they now pick up on this and proud that he hit the nail on the head/described her intensity so well. Even my 9 year old said 'she's a lot'. It's a good kind of weird, though and they love her despite the weirdness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in a beautiful tropical resort. My husband, who has gained a lot of weight recently, is snoring like a freight train (I only mention the weigh because in his case when he gains weight he is a terrible snorer). I used to be able to nudge him and he’d roll over and be quiet but it’s not working. I’ve been up since 2am listening to this. He told me today I must be exaggerating. My only relief is when the crazy loud AC comes on for 5 minutes every 20 mins or so. Finally I just recorded him to prove I’m not nuts! I can’t go anywhere because kids are asleep in the living room area (room has a little bedroom then a pull out couch in a separate room). Tomorrow I’ll get ear plugs from the front desk and have the air run all night. But now it’s pure awful misery. And yes it’s petty because we are in a beautiful place but we have an excursion and I am going to be wrecked from lack of sleep. He in turn has done nothing to help plan and will be completely unhelpful as I wrangle the kids. He’s generally a good guy but lack of sleep and confined spaces don’t make for great trips. I’m just letting him snore it up at this point so one of us gets sleep.

I’m sorry, OP. This is the worst. Snoring is a relationship killer. Tell him he needs to take the kids later so you can nap.

My sympathies as well. I have had panic attacks in the middle of the night over not being able to get away from my husband’s snoring. Hours and hours of desperately wanting to sleep but not being able to is torture. Last week I got desperate while visiting my parents and ended up making a pallet on the closet floor in the middle of the night. I’ve been asking him to get a sleep study for 2 years…

[Anonymous]

I think with more time it might be comical to look back at how incredibly awry our Christmas went this year, but for now, I'm still recovering (so excuse typos) and not much feels petty or ripe for a thread like this. Maybe next year for more of those details but for now, I offer this:

Nobody can ever be sicker, more tired, in more pain, or otherwise suffering more than my father. Never mind he "loafs" or sleeps literally all day. On our Christmas trip we left our DCs (4 and 8) with my parents for a few hours in their hotel suite. My mom had a ball, playing all kinds of make-believe games with them, which was delightfully surprising because she's partially disabled and never was a playful mom. I go to pick up the kids and they beg to stay, another delightful surprise since they only see my parents 1x/year and aren't that close/attached. I said, "well, we don't have concrete plans, so I guess you could stay if Grandma and Grandpa are OK with it," only for my dad to swiftly and forcefully interject that "Grandma and Grandpa need to take a rest, we'll play more later" (to kids' and Grandma's disappointment). The man "rests" ALL FREAKING DAY and sees his only grandchildren once a year...for a few hours a day during the visits, because REST! I said, "Dad, we all traveled, we're all tired, you've been resting for almost two days and never see them," which he responded to with an icy glare and some nonsensical grumbling to justify why he's the MOST tired.

In the same vein, on Christmas day I gave everyone matching flannel PJ pants for a family photo. He begrudgingly put his on but took them off ASAP, chucking them into a corner of my brother's bedroom before retiring to rest at his hotel. When I was like, WTF, he got mad and huffed that his "sensitive skin gets very easily irritated, PLUS I HAVE ECZEMA ON TOP OF THAT!" I just cannot...even... 😂 ugh, must laugh not scream!

[Anonymous]

Your dad sounds like a Prima Donna, pp, that would rive me nuts too.

[Anonymous]

Non-vent: My husband finally admitted (after 15 years) that my cookies are better than his mom's.
Vent: We took a tin of cookies to my in-laws house and my MIL packed my cookies back up in a different container when she sent home her cookies. I guess she didn't agree with her son

[Anonymous]

My middle sister is one those that hunches over her food. Both elbows on the table, and hovers over her plate and then takes a deep breath before taking a bite of food. On top of that she talks with food in her mouth and partly chews with her mouth open. It’s so disgusting. I somehow get seated next to her every dinner.
Her and my parents are in love with flyover state food. IE massive chain Restaurant that is over priced and has no flavor.
My parents made reservations for hard rock and were so excited about it. We had to wait an hour over our reservation time because my mom can’t get anywhere on time so we missed our reservation by 20 minutes and then it pushed everything else back. It was terrible and over priced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My middle sister is one those that hunches over her food. Both elbows on the table, and hovers over her plate and then takes a deep breath before taking a bite of food. On top of that she talks with food in her mouth and partly chews with her mouth open. It’s so disgusting. I somehow get seated next to her every dinner.
Her and my parents are in love with flyover state food. IE massive chain Restaurant that is over priced and has no flavor.
My parents made reservations for hard rock and were so excited about it. We had to wait an hour over our reservation time because my mom can’t get anywhere on time so we missed our reservation by 20 minutes and then it pushed everything else back. It was terrible and over priced.

Your sister is rude, your mother is old, and you are a snob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My middle sister is one those that hunches over her food. Both elbows on the table, and hovers over her plate and then takes a deep breath before taking a bite of food. On top of that she talks with food in her mouth and partly chews with her mouth open. It’s so disgusting. I somehow get seated next to her every dinner.
Her and my parents are in love with flyover state food. IE massive chain Restaurant that is over priced and has no flavor.
My parents made reservations for hard rock and were so excited about it. We had to wait an hour over our reservation time because my mom can’t get anywhere on time so we missed our reservation by 20 minutes and then it pushed everything else back. It was terrible and over priced.

I love how you write “her and my parents” in the very same line that you try to disparage “flyover states” and their food. You tried so hard to be a snob, and you failed so miserably. “Her and my parents”…yikes. You probably will have to look up why that is incorrect grammar. Did you graduate from college?

[Anonymous]

Petty vent- Dh just cannot get gifts for people. A coworker’s husband had an accident (not life threatening) and I wanted to get her something small. I was debating a restaurant gift card for $25, flowers or something else. Dh goes out and gets a $75 gift card. Wtf. It’s just so much for an acquaintance. He does this with all gifts. It’s always the wrong thing and then takes me more time to fix. I’m not into gifts on holidays so luckily he never has to buy me anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My petty vent. My “close talker” aunts and cousin. And to make it 1,000 times worse - the aunts definitely have undiagnosed ADHD and ramble on endlessly. They are oblivious to the social cues you are trying to give them that you aren’t interested in their most recent visit to physical therapy, etc.

+1. This is my sister, god love her. We think she is on the spectrum. The kids rarely see my family as they are in another country. Now that they are older, all my kids can see she is just different- and I guess I should have prepared them more or told them about her a little more. My 14 year old son told me she is like a 'Family Guy' character... I was confused and asked how- and he said it was the close-talking, rapidfire intense convo about any minimal standard subject... things you don't really care about- and you can't really get away. I was equal parts hurt/sad that they now pick up on this and proud that he hit the nail on the head/described her intensity so well. Even my 9 year old said 'she's a lot'. It's a good kind of weird, though and they love her despite the weirdness.

Oh man I know so many people who are just like this. Rapid fire about off the wall subjects and you can’t get away. My 4 year old told a teenager who was doing this to him this week: “you need to calm down. You’re getting out of control and I’m going to get a cookie”. I was slightly embarrassed but then proud of my son for having boundaries. I think people don’t speak up due to politeness but then these rapid fire people need others to be direct so they can moderate themselves.

I wish I knew why they were like this. Is this autism like you said? Or just a lack of introspection and misunderstanding social cues?