Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Petty vent- Dh just cannot get gifts for people. A coworker’s husband had an accident (not life threatening) and I wanted to get her something small. I was debating a restaurant gift card for $25, flowers or something else. Dh goes out and gets a $75 gift card. Wtf. It’s just so much for an acquaintance. He does this with all gifts. It’s always the wrong thing and then takes me more time to fix. I’m not into gifts on holidays so luckily he never has to buy me anything.

Huh? What on Earth? If you’re going to get a restaurant gift card, get one, and don’t be cheap. If you wanted a $25 gift card “to a restaurant” you should have specified Dunkin or McDonald’s. DH did a nice thing. You’re cheap and tacky. Either do a restaurant, or not. Nobody wants $25 to Chick-fil-A or grocery store flowers. Just write a note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Petty vent- Dh just cannot get gifts for people. A coworker’s husband had an accident (not life-threatening) and I wanted to get her something small. I was debating a restaurant gift card for $25, flowers, or something else. Dh goes out and gets a $75 gift card. Wtf. It’s just so much for an acquaintance. He does this with all gifts. It’s always the wrong thing and then takes me more time to fix. I’m not into gifts on holidays so luckily he never has to buy me anything.

$75 is pretty close to what food, delivery & tip cost. Yes, it's a lot but I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My middle sister is one those that hunches over her food. Both elbows on the table, and hovers over her plate and then takes a deep breath before taking a bite of food. On top of that she talks with food in her mouth and partly chews with her mouth open. It’s so disgusting. I somehow get seated next to her every dinner.
Her and my parents are in love with flyover state food. IE massive chain Restaurant that is over priced and has no flavor.
My parents made reservations for hard rock and were so excited about it. We had to wait an hour over our reservation time because my mom can’t get anywhere on time so we missed our reservation by 20 minutes and then it pushed everything else back. It was terrible and over priced.

I love how you write “her and my parents” in the very same line that you try to disparage “flyover states” and their food. You tried so hard to be a snob, and you failed so miserably. “Her and my parents”…yikes. You probably will have to look up why that is incorrect grammar. Did you graduate from college?

+1. “Her and my parents”…it doesn’t get much worse. And no, it wasn’t a typo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My middle sister is one those that hunches over her food. Both elbows on the table, and hovers over her plate and then takes a deep breath before taking a bite of food. On top of that she talks with food in her mouth and partly chews with her mouth open. It’s so disgusting. I somehow get seated next to her every dinner.
Her and my parents are in love with flyover state food. IE massive chain Restaurant that is over priced and has no flavor.
My parents made reservations for hard rock and were so excited about it. We had to wait an hour over our reservation time because my mom can’t get anywhere on time so we missed our reservation by 20 minutes and then it pushed everything else back. It was terrible and over priced.

I love how you write “her and my parents” in the very same line that you try to disparage “flyover states” and their food. You tried so hard to be a snob, and you failed so miserably. “Her and my parents”…yikes. You probably will have to look up why that is incorrect grammar. Did you graduate from college?

+1. “Her and my parents”…it doesn’t get much worse. And no, it wasn’t a typo.

You guys, this is a huge favor. This is how they learn. I’m the one who didn’t know about hostess gifts. I have learned so much from emulating my “better” and separating from my roots. And yes, accused of putting on airs. But she will learn and continue to improve. Let’s be proud and not nasty.

Also when you sit at a table with a rolled up service, immediately unroll and out your napkin in your lap and set up the silverware. Happy to help anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My petty vent. My “close talker” aunts and cousin. And to make it 1,000 times worse - the aunts definitely have undiagnosed ADHD and ramble on endlessly. They are oblivious to the social cues you are trying to give them that you aren’t interested in their most recent visit to physical therapy, etc.

+1. This is my sister, god love her. We think she is on the spectrum. The kids rarely see my family as they are in another country. Now that they are older, all my kids can see she is just different- and I guess I should have prepared them more or told them about her a little more. My 14 year old son told me she is like a 'Family Guy' character... I was confused and asked how- and he said it was the close-talking, rapidfire intense convo about any minimal standard subject... things you don't really care about- and you can't really get away. I was equal parts hurt/sad that they now pick up on this and proud that he hit the nail on the head/described her intensity so well. Even my 9 year old said 'she's a lot'. It's a good kind of weird, though and they love her despite the weirdness.

Oh man I know so many people who are just like this. Rapid fire about off the wall subjects and you can’t get away. My 4 year old told a teenager who was doing this to him this week: “you need to calm down. You’re getting out of control and I’m going to get a cookie”. I was slightly embarrassed but then proud of my son for having boundaries. I think people don’t speak up due to politeness but then these rapid fire people need others to be direct so they can moderate themselves.

I wish I knew why they were like this. Is this autism like you said? Or just a lack of introspection and misunderstanding social cues?

This is awesome. I'm going to start using this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family does not understand why we try to stick to our kids’ routines when we visit for holidays. “Can’t you just skip his nap today?” “Would it be so bad if bedtime was at 9 instead of 7?” I mean, if you are volunteering to be the one to handle the overtired toddler for the rest of the day, then sure, let’s just skip nap time.
Or they don’t understand why we don’t want to go hang out in a bar in the middle of the day with small children. Like no, my 19 month old will not be cool sitting there for several hours while you watch the game.

My MIL did this all the time when DC was little. Snarky comments and questions why can't we just [insert thing they wanted us to change.]
It used to piss me off to no end.

I would just say "no, we can't but you can drop us home and go do xXx" or "Sue, we told you in advance we would be home for a nap at XX. That's what we are doing." I don't deal with that sort of guilting or manipulation well and she's lucky I didn't tell her to "F all the way off" instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this petty? My ILs sent out a photo Christmas cards of all of their grandchildren/my DC + SIL DC.

Years past, GMo would pose holding my infant DC and as the family grew, each grandparent holding a DC.

Bugs me like they are the parents?

Every grandparent I know on Facebook does it. Why wouldn't you?

NP. No grandparents I know send Christmas cards with photos of just themselves and the grandkids except for one. She's a cousin who has serious issues and was in competition with her dh's ex wife. She was determined to push the ex wife out of everyone's lives including the exe's own children. Her xmas cards made it look like they were her own children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Petty food vent? Count me in.

My sister and BIL won't let their kids eat ketchup.
So much awkwardness when we're out together

I wonder why. I had a nanny who wasn't into fitness but regularly would discuss women's "figures". The only diet related thing I ever heard her say was how she was anti condiment - all of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH's adult daughter sent him ONE Christmas pic of the grandkids, sitting on the lap of another grandparent who my DH can't stand.

Maybe you and your DH are the problem.

Perhaps one day you may be divorced and your kids go live with your spouse and their affair partner who they married. People ask if you have any holiday photos of grandkids and then you get to proudly show this ONE photo off, with follow up questions as to who person in photo is. Then you too can be the "problem"

Honey, you have some serious problems if your husband can’t handle a photo of his ex-wife’s current spouse. Why does it bother him still? Isn’t he happy with you? Any energy he’s putting towards being upset over some photo is energy away from his current marriage. THAT is the problem YOU should be worried about.

Don't we all know people who would do this intentionally though? I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH's adult daughter sent him ONE Christmas pic of the grandkids, sitting on the lap of another grandparent who my DH can't stand.

Maybe you and your DH are the problem.

Perhaps one day you may be divorced and your kids go live with your spouse and their affair partner who they married. People ask if you have any holiday photos of grandkids and then you get to proudly show this ONE photo off, with follow up questions as to who person in photo is. Then you too can be the "problem"

Honey, you have some serious problems if your husband can’t handle a photo of his ex-wife’s current spouse. Why does it bother him still? Isn’t he happy with you? Any energy he’s putting towards being upset over some photo is energy away from his current marriage. THAT is the problem YOU should be worried about.

Don't we all know people who would do this intentionally though? I do.

Yep, I do. Point has been missed somewhere. The only holiday photo man gets of his grandkids is one and they are sitting on lap of his ex's affair partner.who would want that?

[Anonymous]

Oh please. You beg for a photo of the grandkids, daughter goes to find baby, baby is sitting in the lap of someone who is now—whether you like it or not—part of the family. There ya go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. You beg for a photo of the grandkids, daughter goes to find baby, baby is sitting in the lap of someone who is now—whether you like it or not—part of the family. There ya go.

Oh please yourself. You really think that was the one and only photo taken all day? Maybe you are so defensive because you are an affair partner. There ya go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. You beg for a photo of the grandkids, daughter goes to find baby, baby is sitting in the lap of someone who is now—whether you like it or not—part of the family. There ya go.

Oh please yourself. You really think that was the one and only photo taken all day? Maybe you are so defensive because you are an affair partner. There ya go.

Omg your adult kids are tired of walking on eggshells about “omg who else is in this picture ahhhhh will my dad’s wife who he married when I was already well into my teens and who I don’t consider a step-mom per se freak out and make passive aggressive FB posts all of Christmas?????”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom has fully committed to bright white lighting. Everytime I flip a switch I feel like an interrogation or operation is about to begin.

And, yeah, she told me a long story about what Linda and Peter have been up to this year. About 5 minutes in I remembered who they are. She is a family friend I haven't seen since approximately 1986 and he is her husband I've never met.[/quote]

This is my dad! “You remember Blah Blah right? She was in your grade! Her younger sister made varsity volleyball as a freshman. Well
I saw her dad recently and their grandfather died.”

So someone I haven’t talked to or even thought about in thirty years. What am I to do with this info?

This is my mom. It’s often about people I might have heard of but didn’t actually know, or sometimes about complete strangers, like someone she met at the grocery store. So many details. It is comical at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH's adult daughter sent him ONE Christmas pic of the grandkids, sitting on the lap of another grandparent who my DH can't stand.

Maybe you and your DH are the problem.

Perhaps one day you may be divorced and your kids go live with your spouse and their affair partner who they married. People ask if you have any holiday photos of grandkids and then you get to proudly show this ONE photo off, with follow up questions as to who person in photo is. Then you too can be the "problem"

Honey, you have some serious problems if your husband can’t handle a photo of his ex-wife’s current spouse. Why does it bother him still? Isn’t he happy with you? Any energy he’s putting towards being upset over some photo is energy away from his current marriage. THAT is the problem YOU should be worried about.

Don't we all know people who would do this intentionally though? I do.

Yep, I do. Point has been missed somewhere. The only holiday photo man gets of his grandkids is one and they are sitting on lap of his ex's affair partner.who would want that?

How long has it been since the affair? Maybe the daughter just hopes everyone can move on for the sake of the children and grandchildren. Yes, it's maybe tone deaf that she forgot how hurtful the picture might be. But also, take this as a sign that it's time for your husband to push through his hurt for the sake of the larger family. It's really hard for adult children to be caught in the middle. And if he's the one being self righteous and making things difficult, he's the one who will naturally excluded from her/grandchild's life.