Coworker Resentment: Maternity Leave Edition

[Anonymous]

Looking for advice on how to handle the following scenario. Generally in my office, women take 2-3 months of maternity leave. 6-8 weeks is paid. I'm the first to have requested and been approved to take 5 months. Extra time is unpaid.

Since my colleagues have discovered this (as I prepare to go out), they have bern awful to me mostly. Pretty much everyone has told me they are pissed to have to cover extra time. That Im spoiled to be able to take this time. And so on from there....maybe 1-2 are fine about it. My boss obviously is too because I do a good job.

Ignore this? Any other action I can take? It's honestly making me feel like quitting. I dread every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for advice on how to handle the following scenario. Generally in my office, women take 2-3 months of maternity leave. 6-8 weeks is paid. I'm the first to have requested and been approved to take 5 months. Extra time is unpaid.

Since my colleagues have discovered this (as I prepare to go out), they have bern awful to me mostly. Pretty much everyone has told me they are pissed to have to cover extra time. That Im spoiled to be able to take this time. And so on from there....maybe 1-2 are fine about it. My boss obviously is too because I do a good job.

Ignore this? Any other action I can take? It's honestly making me feel like quitting. I dread every day.

Do you work in a small office? I'm surprised by the negative amount of responses and the way your coworkers are talking to you. I'd start looking for a new job. This company sounds unsupportive - not the kind of place I'd want to be as a new mom (or in my case, a mom of a special needs child).

[Anonymous]

Well what do you expect when you are asking others to do your work for more than the standard amount of time in your office?

[Anonymous]

At least you aren't a dad taking his three months of FMLA. That is career killer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well what do you expect when you are asking others to do your work for more than the standard amount of time in your office?

WTF, her request was approved, and the extra time is unpaid. OP, sorry your co-workers are jerks. You will need to tough it out until you leave; hopefully, people will have remembered their manners when it's time to come back. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least you aren't a dad taking his three months of FMLA. That is career killer

That is so sad.

[Anonymous]

If your office manages maternity leave by just dumping all your extra work on the colleagues who are left behind...I can see why they are acting pissy. Doesn't mean you are wrong to take your time - the bad guy here is your company for not springing for a temp or cutting back on special projects or whatever it takes to make this extra leave not hurt everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well what do you expect when you are asking others to do your work for more than the standard amount of time in your office?

WTF, her request was approved, and the extra time is unpaid. OP, sorry your co-workers are jerks. You will need to tough it out until you leave; hopefully, people will have remembered their manners when it's time to come back. Good luck.

It was approved by her boss, yes, but does she expect that her colleagues should be happy that they are having to pick up her slack for 5 MONTHS?

[Anonymous]

Maybe having everyone pick up her slack shouldn't be the plan if it's so unworkable. And that's not her fault.

OP, just ignore them. Most women in my office take 3-6 months, and even the 6-month leaves actually go by really quickly, and no one remembers who took which amount of a time a year later. It seems like a big deal now, but it won't be in the long term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for advice on how to handle the following scenario. Generally in my office, women take 2-3 months of maternity leave. 6-8 weeks is paid. I'm the first to have requested and been approved to take 5 months. Extra time is unpaid.

Since my colleagues have discovered this (as I prepare to go out), they have bern awful to me mostly. Pretty much everyone has told me they are pissed to have to cover extra time. That Im spoiled to be able to take this time. And so on from there....maybe 1-2 are fine about it. My boss obviously is too because I do a good job.

Ignore this? Any other action I can take? It's honestly making me feel like quitting. I dread every day.

Women are so awful to each other. I'd try to ignore it an enjoy your leave. Figure out if you want to come back after.

Also, remember that in EVERY other developed nation, moms get a year. The United States sucks. You enjoy your 5 months.

[Anonymous]

This is why parental leave needs to be a federal law and set at 6 months MINIMUM.

Then people can take more or less as they wish, but at least mothers won't be bothered for taking 5 months. It's so little for an infant who needs his mother to bond and start off life secure and well cared for. There are so many daycares that do a poor job caring for infants - my son was in one because we could not afford the alternative. I feel guilty to this day, and I know this is the lot of most parents. It's the lucky few who are able to afford quality care when they go back to work.

I suggest you reply that Europeans have much more generous parental leave and that research has shown babies fare better when they spend more of that first year of life with their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well what do you expect when you are asking others to do your work for more than the standard amount of time in your office?

If they feel they are going above and beyond, they can ask for a salary adjustment. That is not OP's problem. She needs to live her life for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least you aren't a dad taking his three months of FMLA. That is career killer

That is so sad.

YEP. My DH was able to take an extended leave with our son and I am SO glad he was able to do it. He has since left that company but was promoted shortly after returning from his leave.

My DH is so bonded with our child and I notice he is much more comfortable and confident in managing childcare and parenting than our friends and I truly believe it is because he had the time to learn the ropes at home alone with the baby for weeks without me. I was home for baby's first 16 week and went back to work part time and DH came home and was home for the baby's second 16 weeks of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well what do you expect when you are asking others to do your work for more than the standard amount of time in your office?

WTF, her request was approved, and the extra time is unpaid. OP, sorry your co-workers are jerks. You will need to tough it out until you leave; hopefully, people will have remembered their manners when it's time to come back. Good luck.

It was approved by her boss, yes, but does she expect that her colleagues should be happy that they are having to pick up her slack for 5 MONTHS?

Get a life, oh bitter one.

[Anonymous]

Guess I would say, imagine how you would feel if you were in their shoes? There are 2 things going on here: one, they are jealous that you can afford to take this amount of time (lots of people can't do this financially) and two, they aren't happy about covering the work.

I wouldn't talk about your maternity leave. Keep it quiet, give things some time to calm down, they will. You might want to think about maybe doing some nice things for them prior to going out and then doing some nice things right before you return. For example, bring bagels, coffee, and fixings to the office one morning. I'd cater a lunch for them near the end of your leave as a way to say thank you for making all of this possible. You really need to suck up to them and lay it on thick.