Coworker Resentment: Maternity Leave Edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Co-workers should be mad at the company for not getting a temp to cover OP's job duties while she's out instead of farming them off on co-workers.

Covering a co-worker's duties while they take a week's vacation? Sure, no biggie. But for 5 months? I'd be pissed, but I wouldn't direct it at the person taking the leave.

Exactly. Hire a temp to do the basic admin so many of us spend a TON of time on.

My boss was wonderful about this. I took 4 months, of which only 5 weeks was paid. But he would have let me take as much time as I needed. And he was very clear with the people filling in for me that if they were overloaded to let him know and he'd spread things out to other people or hire someone to help. It helped her had 4 kids at home so he really respects work/life balance.

[Anonymous]

Five months is a long-ass time to be covering someone. That's all.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Well what do you expect when you are asking others to do your work for more than the standard amount of time in your office?

WTF, her request was approved, and the extra time is unpaid. OP, sorry your co-workers are jerks. You will need to tough it out until you leave; hopefully, people will have remembered their manners when it's time to come back. Good luck.

It was approved by her boss, yes, but does she expect that her colleagues should be happy that they are having to pick up her slack for 5 MONTHS?

Get a life, oh bitter one.

You must just love doing others' work!

Np here. I don't mind covering for others when they're out.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Well what do you expect when you are asking others to do your work for more than the standard amount of time in your office?

WTF, her request was approved, and the extra time is unpaid. OP, sorry your co-workers are jerks. You will need to tough it out until you leave; hopefully, people will have remembered their manners when it's time to come back. Good luck.

It was approved by her boss, yes, but does she expect that her colleagues should be happy that they are having to pick up her slack for 5 MONTHS?

Get a life, oh bitter one.

You must just love doing others' work!

Np here. I don't mind covering for others when they're out.

You're lying. Can you seriously say you're okay covering for someone else if it means a lot of added stress and missing out on your own family events? (not getting home in time to make dinner, spend time with your own children/husband/etc)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Guess I would say, imagine how you would feel if you were in their shoes? There are 2 things going on here: one, they are jealous that you can afford to take this amount of time (lots of people can't do this financially) and two, they aren't happy about covering the work.

I wouldn't talk about your maternity leave. Keep it quiet, give things some time to calm down, they will. You might want to think about maybe doing some nice things for them prior to going out and then doing some nice things right before you return. For example, bring bagels, coffee, and fixings to the office one morning. I'd cater a lunch for them near the end of your leave as a way to say thank you for making all of this possible. You really need to suck up to them and lay it on thick.

This is ridiculous advice. OP, do not feel like you need to bring them bagels or do anything else. They are not doing you a favor. They are doing what the company is asking of them. If they need something -- extra compensation or other rewards -- it needs to come from the company, not you. Ignore the jerks and just go take care of yourself and your baby.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to do a little something nice for other people. It can go a long way to smoothing ruffled feathers.

Actually the coworkers are doing her a favor by covering for her. Bagels are the least you can do for them.

No, they are doing the job for which they are being paid. This isn't a favor. If their workloads are onerous while OP is out, that's something they need to take up with management.

Not really. You're not getting paid extra for the extra work.

You're doing the work so a new person doesn't have to be hired so that the person's job can be saved. That's a favor.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Guess I would say, imagine how you would feel if you were in their shoes? There are 2 things going on here: one, they are jealous that you can afford to take this amount of time (lots of people can't do this financially) and two, they aren't happy about covering the work.

I wouldn't talk about your maternity leave. Keep it quiet, give things some time to calm down, they will. You might want to think about maybe doing some nice things for them prior to going out and then doing some nice things right before you return. For example, bring bagels, coffee, and fixings to the office one morning. I'd cater a lunch for them near the end of your leave as a way to say thank you for making all of this possible. You really need to suck up to them and lay it on thick.

This is ridiculous advice. OP, do not feel like you need to bring them bagels or do anything else. They are not doing you a favor. They are doing what the company is asking of them. If they need something -- extra compensation or other rewards -- it needs to come from the company, not you. Ignore the jerks and just go take care of yourself and your baby.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to do a little something nice for other people. It can go a long way to smoothing ruffled feathers.

Actually the coworkers are doing her a favor by covering for her. Bagels are the least you can do for them.

No, they are doing the job for which they are being paid. This isn't a favor. If their workloads are onerous while OP is out, that's something they need to take up with management.

Not really. You're not getting paid extra for the extra work.

You're doing the work so a new person doesn't have to be hired so that the person's job can be saved. That's a favor.

No, it's doing work for their employer, thus THEIR JOB.

Look, I'm not saying that OPs coworkers don't have any right to be upset at the lack of coverage. My company recently offered people early retirement buyouts and a significant number of my coworkers took them up on it. The people who took the benefits package will not be backfilled so those of us left will have to fill in and pick up their work without any additional compensation. That doesn't mean the people leaving owe us anything. It's the company that is getting the benefit of not backfilling those positions and putting the work on existing employees. No one on this board would tell me I have any right to be upset with the people leaving if I posted that I was pissed at them for leaving me with extra work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Guess I would say, imagine how you would feel if you were in their shoes? There are 2 things going on here: one, they are jealous that you can afford to take this amount of time (lots of people can't do this financially) and two, they aren't happy about covering the work.

I wouldn't talk about your maternity leave. Keep it quiet, give things some time to calm down, they will. You might want to think about maybe doing some nice things for them prior to going out and then doing some nice things right before you return. For example, bring bagels, coffee, and fixings to the office one morning. I'd cater a lunch for them near the end of your leave as a way to say thank you for making all of this possible. You really need to suck up to them and lay it on thick.

This is ridiculous advice. OP, do not feel like you need to bring them bagels or do anything else. They are not doing you a favor. They are doing what the company is asking of them. If they need something -- extra compensation or other rewards -- it needs to come from the company, not you. Ignore the jerks and just go take care of yourself and your baby.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to do a little something nice for other people. It can go a long way to smoothing ruffled feathers.

Actually the coworkers are doing her a favor by covering for her. Bagels are the least you can do for them.

No, they are doing the job for which they are being paid. This isn't a favor. If their workloads are onerous while OP is out, that's something they need to take up with management.

Not really. You're not getting paid extra for the extra work.

You're doing the work so a new person doesn't have to be hired so that the person's job can be saved. That's a favor.

A temp can absolutely be hired, particularly if part of the leave is unpaid. If management decides not to hire a temp or otherwise try to alleviate the burden on other employees, that's a management problem. It's not a problem caused by someone who went through the proper channels and had their leave request approved. Your anger is misplaced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Five months is a long-ass time to be covering someone. That's all.

Yes it is. I don't think anybody is arguing that. But how is that relevant to the issue at hand? OP is legally entitled to mat leave and got it. Any other issues are between the company and hercoworkers. (Ps - another person who is SO glad I'm Canadian).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm glad I'm Canadian. I took 18 months. Got pregnant - year later and took another 18 months. No one cared. I'm a scientist. Trying for baby #3 now lol

Lucky you!

[Anonymous]

It's amazing how many times someone has gone out for a longer-than-normal leave, and since we were forced to figure out how to handle the work, we realized that person wasn't really that needed anyway. OP, have everything in writing. You are protected during FMLA, but you won't be protected legally in the additional time.

The US is set up really poorly to provide temporary coverage for leaves of absence compared to other countries.

[Anonymous]

Ignore it. Totally unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if your coworkers would have said something if you needed to take this much time off for another health reason, like recovering from surgery, getting chemo therapy, or taking care of an elderly parent.

It's amazing how if you switched out "parental leave" and replaced it with something not related to babies or child care, that responses may be more forgiving.

We could stand to be more forgiving of folks. If you take care of people (at home or in the office), it shows in the work they do. Sorry OP that you are facing this. Congrats though and enjoy the leave!

[Anonymous]

say "I'm taking unpaid leave (which they probably don't know), so you should ask boss to use that savings to hire a temp for a couple months to help out"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking for advice on how to handle the following scenario. Generally in my office, women take 2-3 months of maternity leave. 6-8 weeks is paid. I'm the first to have requested and been approved to take 5 months. Extra time is unpaid.

Since my colleagues have discovered this (as I prepare to go out), they have bern awful to me mostly. Pretty much everyone has told me they are pissed to have to cover extra time. That Im spoiled to be able to take this time. And so on from there....maybe 1-2 are fine about it. My boss obviously is too because I do a good job.

Ignore this? Any other action I can take? It's honestly making me feel like quitting. I dread every day.

Women are so awful to each other. I'd try to ignore it an enjoy your leave. Figure out if you want to come back after.

Also, remember that in EVERY other developed nation, moms get a year. The United States sucks. You enjoy your 5 months.

This is what I was thinking.. 5 months is nothing. No wonder so many moms suffer from PPD

[Anonymous]

It sounds like there are a fair number of colleagues with whom to share the extra work so I don't think this must resentment is usual. I suspect they're more jealous of you for taking longer than they felt able to do. Maybe nicely remind them that it's important for women to stick together.