Coworker Resentment: Maternity Leave Edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is why parental leave needs to be a federal law and set at 6 months MINIMUM.

Then people can take more or less as they wish, but at least mothers won't be bothered for taking 5 months. It's so little for an infant who needs his mother to bond and start off life secure and well cared for. There are so many daycares that do a poor job caring for infants - my son was in one because we could not afford the alternative. I feel guilty to this day, and I know this is the lot of most parents. It's the lucky few who are able to afford quality care when they go back to work.

[b]I suggest you reply that Europeans have much more generous parental leave and that research has shown babies fare better when they spend more of that first year of life with their parents.

That is horrible advice. You'll sound like a preachy a-hole. Particularly if they already had kids and took a standard 12 weeks. Or even the 6-8 that they get paid. Then not only are you dumping all your work on them for five months, you're essentially telling them they didn't make the best parenting choices.

OP, these people are being jerks, but please understand that they are projecting their anger on you when it should be projected on your boss, who was the one to approve your leave. It doesn't matter if you "do good work." You're making everyone else do your work for almost half a year. Have you done the same for them?

[Anonymous]

Look, I get it may be rough for them covering for OPs leave but tough. The leave was approved by management and being nasty to OP about it isn't appropriate.

OP, the next time (and every subsequent time) one of your coworkers makes a sh*tty comment, simply respond "My extended leave was approved by Larla/Larlo and is not up for discussion." Screw them for being such dillweeds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guess I would say, imagine how you would feel if you were in their shoes? There are 2 things going on here: one, they are jealous that you can afford to take this amount of time (lots of people can't do this financially) and two, they aren't happy about covering the work.

I wouldn't talk about your maternity leave. Keep it quiet, give things some time to calm down, they will. You might want to think about maybe doing some nice things for them prior to going out and then doing some nice things right before you return. For example, bring bagels, coffee, and fixings to the office one morning. I'd cater a lunch for them near the end of your leave as a way to say thank you for making all of this possible. You really need to suck up to them and lay it on thick.

This is ridiculous advice. OP, do not feel like you need to bring them bagels or do anything else. They are not doing you a favor. They are doing what the company is asking of them. If they need something -- extra compensation or other rewards -- it needs to come from the company, not you. Ignore the jerks and just go take care of yourself and your baby.

[Anonymous]

Co-workers should be mad at the company for not getting a temp to cover OP's job duties while she's out instead of farming them off on co-workers.

Covering a co-worker's duties while they take a week's vacation? Sure, no biggie. But for 5 months? I'd be pissed, but I wouldn't direct it at the person taking the leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well what do you expect when you are asking others to do your work for more than the standard amount of time in your office?

WTF, her request was approved, and the extra time is unpaid. OP, sorry your co-workers are jerks. You will need to tough it out until you leave; hopefully, people will have remembered their manners when it's time to come back. Good luck.

It was approved by her boss, yes, but does she expect that her colleagues should be happy that they are having to pick up her slack for 5 MONTHS?

Get a life, oh bitter one.

You must just love doing others' work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess I would say, imagine how you would feel if you were in their shoes? There are 2 things going on here: one, they are jealous that you can afford to take this amount of time (lots of people can't do this financially) and two, they aren't happy about covering the work.

I wouldn't talk about your maternity leave. Keep it quiet, give things some time to calm down, they will. You might want to think about maybe doing some nice things for them prior to going out and then doing some nice things right before you return. For example, bring bagels, coffee, and fixings to the office one morning. I'd cater a lunch for them near the end of your leave as a way to say thank you for making all of this possible. You really need to suck up to them and lay it on thick.

This is ridiculous advice. OP, do not feel like you need to bring them bagels or do anything else. They are not doing you a favor. They are doing what the company is asking of them. If they need something -- extra compensation or other rewards -- it needs to come from the company, not you. Ignore the jerks and just go take care of yourself and your baby.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to do a little something nice for other people. It can go a long way to smoothing ruffled feathers.

[Anonymous]

My co-workers always grumble (nicely) when I plan to take maternity leave even though I usually only do 8 weeks off/4 weeks part time. I always respond jokingly that I am doing all the hard work so that Social Security is funded for all of our retirement (my third maternity is coming up). I do not give their feeling a second thought and I always get extra love when I come back because at that point they know I was covering a lot of ground (work-wise).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe having everyone pick up her slack shouldn't be the plan if it's so unworkable. And that's not her fault.

OP, just ignore them. Most women in my office take 3-6 months, and even the 6-month leaves actually go by really quickly, and no one remembers who took which amount of a time a year later. It seems like a big deal now, but it won't be in the long term.

Exactly.

I also imagine at least some of the folks criticizing her are pissed they didn't make the same request.

[Anonymous]

This is why I'm glad I'm Canadian. I took 18 months. Got pregnant - year later and took another 18 months. No one cared. I'm a scientist. Trying for baby #3 now lol

[Anonymous]

I get both sides. It sucks to get extra work for that long. Your boss should hire a temp. I took 4 mo this I paid in the government and we don't have temp workers so the work got dumped on my coworkers and piled on my desk. Even now, a year later I can't get holidays or annual leave off because my coworkers deserve it for covering for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess I would say, imagine how you would feel if you were in their shoes? There are 2 things going on here: one, they are jealous that you can afford to take this amount of time (lots of people can't do this financially) and two, they aren't happy about covering the work.

I wouldn't talk about your maternity leave. Keep it quiet, give things some time to calm down, they will. You might want to think about maybe doing some nice things for them prior to going out and then doing some nice things right before you return. For example, bring bagels, coffee, and fixings to the office one morning. I'd cater a lunch for them near the end of your leave as a way to say thank you for making all of this possible. You really need to suck up to them and lay it on thick.

This is ridiculous advice. OP, do not feel like you need to bring them bagels or do anything else. They are not doing you a favor. They are doing what the company is asking of them. If they need something -- extra compensation or other rewards -- it needs to come from the company, not you. Ignore the jerks and just go take care of yourself and your baby.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to do a little something nice for other people. It can go a long way to smoothing ruffled feathers.

Okay. Do you still stand by your advice if OP passed it along to her boss? OP: "Hey Boss, Larla and Larlo expressed annoyance at covering my files while I am out on maternity leave. Maybe you should bring them some bagels so they feel better."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm glad I'm Canadian. I took 18 months. Got pregnant - year later and took another 18 months. No one cared. I'm a scientist. Trying for baby #3 now lol

Very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess I would say, imagine how you would feel if you were in their shoes? There are 2 things going on here: one, they are jealous that you can afford to take this amount of time (lots of people can't do this financially) and two, they aren't happy about covering the work.

I wouldn't talk about your maternity leave. Keep it quiet, give things some time to calm down, they will. You might want to think about maybe doing some nice things for them prior to going out and then doing some nice things right before you return. For example, bring bagels, coffee, and fixings to the office one morning. I'd cater a lunch for them near the end of your leave as a way to say thank you for making all of this possible. You really need to suck up to them and lay it on thick.

This is ridiculous advice. OP, do not feel like you need to bring them bagels or do anything else. They are not doing you a favor. They are doing what the company is asking of them. If they need something -- extra compensation or other rewards -- it needs to come from the company, not you. Ignore the jerks and just go take care of yourself and your baby.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to do a little something nice for other people. It can go a long way to smoothing ruffled feathers.

Actually the coworkers are doing her a favor by covering for her. Bagels are the least you can do for them.

[Anonymous]

I'd make sure they realize this is unpaid leave. It is AMAZING how many people think that maternity leave means you just have extra days of vacation. Um, no.

I think I'd say something like:
"Should we talk to Boss about how to better manage the work load while I am out on unpaid leave?"

Because yes, this is a company problem. My DH did have to cover 100% for a woman who was out on maternity leave. Twice in 2.5 years, so a total of 6 months during that time. Occasionally he'd complain and I'd tell him this is not HER problem. If he has too much work, he needs to tell his manager to hire someone else or spread the load to other people. She is not supposed to just NOT HAVE BABIES bc someone else might need to fill in for a few weeks. That's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess I would say, imagine how you would feel if you were in their shoes? There are 2 things going on here: one, they are jealous that you can afford to take this amount of time (lots of people can't do this financially) and two, they aren't happy about covering the work.

I wouldn't talk about your maternity leave. Keep it quiet, give things some time to calm down, they will. You might want to think about maybe doing some nice things for them prior to going out and then doing some nice things right before you return. For example, bring bagels, coffee, and fixings to the office one morning. I'd cater a lunch for them near the end of your leave as a way to say thank you for making all of this possible. You really need to suck up to them and lay it on thick.

This is ridiculous advice. OP, do not feel like you need to bring them bagels or do anything else. They are not doing you a favor. They are doing what the company is asking of them. If they need something -- extra compensation or other rewards -- it needs to come from the company, not you. Ignore the jerks and just go take care of yourself and your baby.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to do a little something nice for other people. It can go a long way to smoothing ruffled feathers.

Actually the coworkers are doing her a favor by covering for her. Bagels are the least you can do for them.

No, they are doing the job for which they are being paid. This isn't a favor. If their workloads are onerous while OP is out, that's something they need to take up with management.