DH and I don't drink: how to unwind/get romantic

[Anonymous]

I've never had an orgasm. 39 y/o.

My husband has almost no libido.

Recently I've really been wanting to focus on intimacy.

Everything I read says "have a glass of wine and" before trying anything.

Neither of us drink. What else can we do to fully relax and help with the mood?

[Anonymous]

Massage? Coconut oil? Go to a hotel?

[Anonymous]

You need a sex therapist, honestly. Your issues are much more severe than drinking wine or not drinking wine - although I certainly hope you've tried ALL options, because the therapist will ask!

[Anonymous]

Everyone says find a sex therapist and yet no one can recommend and affordable one that's taking new patients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone says find a sex therapist and yet no one can recommend and affordable one that's taking new patients.

Yes... that's because not many people need that kind of specialist, yet most of us know which expert is needed for which disease. Heart problem, cardiologist. Thyroid, endocrinologist. Etc, etc. No orgasm, libido issues? Sex therapist. Doesn't that seem logical to you?

And, perhaps you can do the search yourself, since you're the patient?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone says find a sex therapist and yet no one can recommend and affordable one that's taking new patients.

Yes... that's because not many people need that kind of specialist, yet most of us know which expert is needed for which disease. Heart problem, cardiologist. Thyroid, endocrinologist. Etc, etc. No orgasm, libido issues? Sex therapist. Doesn't that seem logical to you?

And, perhaps you can do the search yourself, since you're the patient?

OP here, you're implying that I haven't done a search.

[Anonymous]

Buy a vibrator. That's how I learned what felt good enough to give me an orgasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone says find a sex therapist and yet no one can recommend and affordable one that's taking new patients.

Yes... that's because not many people need that kind of specialist, yet most of us know which expert is needed for which disease. Heart problem, cardiologist. Thyroid, endocrinologist. Etc, etc. No orgasm, libido issues? Sex therapist. Doesn't that seem logical to you?

And, perhaps you can do the search yourself, since you're the patient?

OP here, you're implying that I haven't done a search.

If you have, then say so.

[Anonymous]

Have you two talked out loud about this problem?

[Anonymous]

And ... how do you normally unwind? Cuppa tea? Walk the dogs? Read in bed? Figure that out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone says find a sex therapist and yet no one can recommend and affordable one that's taking new patients.

Yes... that's because not many people need that kind of specialist, yet most of us know which expert is needed for which disease. Heart problem, cardiologist. Thyroid, endocrinologist. Etc, etc. No orgasm, libido issues? Sex therapist. Doesn't that seem logical to you?

And, perhaps you can do the search yourself, since you're the patient?

OP here, you're implying that I haven't done a search.

Yes. I am implying that.
I am also implying that you have learned helplessness.
I could go on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone says find a sex therapist and yet no one can recommend and affordable one that's taking new patients.

Yes... that's because not many people need that kind of specialist, yet most of us know which expert is needed for which disease. Heart problem, cardiologist. Thyroid, endocrinologist. Etc, etc. No orgasm, libido issues? Sex therapist. Doesn't that seem logical to you?

And, perhaps you can do the search yourself, since you're the patient?

OP here, you're implying that I haven't done a search.

Yes. I am implying that.
I am also implying that you have learned helplessness.
I could go on.

OP could imply that you're being an ass. And lead and empty life harassing people on an anonymous online forum.

And she would be right.

OP have you experienced any sexual traumas in your life?

[Anonymous]

Marijuana?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never had an orgasm. 39 y/o.

My husband has almost no libido.

Recently I've really been wanting to focus on intimacy.

Everything I read says "have a glass of wine and" before trying anything.

Neither of us drink. What else can we do to fully relax and help with the mood?

Never during sex, or never during your entire life?

[Anonymous]

We don't drink either and quite frankly... we do not have the issues you've mentioned. Your concerns are not the consequence of a "dry lifestyle." 39 years old and never??? How can that possibly be?