Do you complain about your spouse to your friends?
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Anonymous
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I don't. I consider my marriage a private matter and I don't talk about it even with my best friend -- I just don't think it's respectful to my spouse to do that. Is this not the norm?
Reason I ask is because I happened to glimpse an email on my DW's phone in which she made a nasty (and inaccurate) comment complaining about me to her friend. I'm sure she was just blowing off steam but it was really hurtful and I can't stop thinking about it and getting upset. Am I overreacting? |
Anonymous
| Nope I only complain about my spouse to DCUm like you do. |
Anonymous
| Never to mutual or couple friends. To my own separate best friends, on occasion |
Anonymous
| I have one friend who knows everything. He's a vault. |
Anonymous
| I do not. But I think it is healthy to have somewhere that you can complain about your spouse. If it truly hurt your feelings though say something. One of the things DH and I came to terms with quite a few years ago is to always say something. Even if you think you are over reacting, say something. It is better to let her know how you feel and get it out on the table than to hold it in and let it fester and she continue to do the thing that bothers you (because she has no idea you are upset). |
Anonymous
| I have to sometimes. Who else would I talk things through with and get advice from? I don't talk about things like penis size or his sexual fantasies. If we were having problems in that area I might ask for advice. |
Anonymous
| what did she say? |
Anonymous
| DW here. I have one friend who's a vault but even with her I limit it. Otherwise I keep it all private. I find I am in the minority. Most DWs trash their DHs constantly in casual small talk. It's kind of unpleasant. |
Anonymous
| Hell yeah. My best friend knows everything . |
Anonymous
| I try not to. But sometimes I need to vent a little. To sort out what I'm thinking. Tests often sound worse somehow than I actually am feeling. Taking with someone outside the relationship helps me too to find perspective and a friend is able to look at it from outside and help me see what IS working. |
Anonymous
| I used to but I realized my DH does not and it felt rude and disrespectful. Now I do not. |
Anonymous
| No, and I don't complain about him to our families either. He's not perfect but I'm a lot less perfect than he is, and he never complains about me. Love does not thrive on criticism. |
Anonymous
+1. Rarely except the occasional annoyance. |
Anonymous
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DH has never done anything big to really piss me off. But sometimes I may gripe about a couple silly things he does (like leave the dishes next to the sink, not in) but I'm usually laughing about it with a couple of friends and we are all sharing the silly things that annoy us. And then of course we all get a laugh about the things we do that annoy them.
If I had a complaint about DH that painted him in a negative way, I'd probably not share it. |
Anonymous
| Yes. And he is welcome to do the same. |