Would you let a twelve-year-old girl ride the subway to school?

[Anonymous]

We aren't in DC - we are in NYC. She would be alone for only two stops and then a five block walk to her new 7th grade - her school and my work are both on the Upper East Side - nice neighborhoods. She is a very independent girl and responsible for her age. I say yes but DH says no. (He was a NYC cop for 22 years).

I am sure there are similar situations in DC and kids taking the metro alone. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

no

[Anonymous]

It would be done in Boston. Not in DC.

[Anonymous]

With a friend, maybe. Not alone. (Fwiw, my 16-year-old DS rides metro and metro buses alone all the time. But not at age 12.)

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

I have seen Gonzaga boys take the redline from Silver Spring to Union Station or NoMa. I wouldn't necessarily let my child do it in DC though with the mechanical issues on the metro in addition to the muggings and weird random violence.

[Anonymous]

Not my 12 yo.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Practice with her. Also, see if there is a neighborhood kid who can go with her.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely trust the input of a longtime cop. Especially a cop who was on the force in the same city where she will be traveling to school daily.

OP, why are you balking at his clear, professional opinion on this? Are you worried that DD won't grow up to be independent enough if she doesn't do this on her own? It's not coddling her or denying her independence to say no to this. Instead you will teach her that learning to exercise appropriate caution is as important a life skill as doing everything independently, and heeding the advice of people with experience is the smart thing to do.

So, to your question: No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely trust the input of a longtime cop. Especially a cop who was on the force in the same city where she will be traveling to school daily.

OP, why are you balking at his clear, professional opinion on this? Are you worried that DD won't grow up to be independent enough if she doesn't do this on her own? It's not coddling her or denying her independence to say no to this. Instead you will teach her that learning to exercise appropriate caution is as important a life skill as doing everything independently, and heeding the advice of people with experience is the smart thing to do.

So, to your question: No.

Just to clarify DH's over-protectiveness - he had her wear a bike helmet on the subway when she was 0 to 5 years old. He stool outside her preschool for the entire day on her first day of school.

DD really wants to be independent and start her new school on her own. DH will pick her up every late afternoon and ride home with her but I thought that two stops and a couple of blocks would probably be okay.

But DH and all of you are probably right. It is no problem for me to take the subway with her and walk her to school and the go to work.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I have a 14 yr old and live in San Francisco (am from NY). She was taking the subways here alone at 11. NYC is safer than SF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely trust the input of a longtime cop. Especially a cop who was on the force in the same city where she will be traveling to school daily.

OP, why are you balking at his clear, professional opinion on this? Are you worried that DD won't grow up to be independent enough if she doesn't do this on her own? It's not coddling her or denying her independence to say no to this. Instead you will teach her that learning to exercise appropriate caution is as important a life skill as doing everything independently, and heeding the advice of people with experience is the smart thing to do.

So, to your question: No.

Just to clarify DH's over-protectiveness - he had her wear a bike helmet on the subway when she was 0 to 5 years old. He stool outside her preschool for the entire day on her first day of school.

DD really wants to be independent and start her new school on her own. DH will pick her up every late afternoon and ride home with her but I thought that two stops and a couple of blocks would probably be okay.

But DH and all of you are probably right. It is no problem for me to take the subway with her and walk her to school and the go to work.

Whle your husband was rdculous for the other thngs. He's probably spot on about the subway ths year. You can revisit in a year or two.
That said, he objects, he gets to do the rides.

[Anonymous]

Why can't your dh be the one to take her?

If your daughter feels ok with it I think its fine

[Anonymous]

Yes, if she has a decent amount of experience with the subway system, feels comfortable with it, and will carry a phone to contact you or the school in case of any unanticipated transportation issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I have a 14 yr old and live in San Francisco (am from NY). She was taking the subways here alone at 11. NYC is safer than SF.

NYC also safer than DC. I actually quit a great job to avoid the DC metro.