Would you let a twelve-year-old girl ride the subway to school?

[Anonymous]

I would ride with her the first week, maybe stay on the train while she gets off on her station, and then after a week let her do it on her own.

Sorry your husband is paranoid. That kind of anxiety needs help, otherwise your children will think it's normal.

[Anonymous]

NYC mom here. All my dc started riding the subway in 6th grade. Never had a problem. (They are in college now.)

Does your dc have a friend who will be riding the subway at the same time? Perhaps that will help your dh feel more comfortable about it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I'd let her ride by herself. Another option would be for you to ride the subway all the way to her stop but let her walk out of the station and the 5 blocks to school on her own (you could catch a train back the other way at her stop), at least for the beginning of the school year.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't let my 14 year old do this alone. Maybe with friends.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I grew up in NYC and almost everyone took the public bus or subway to school by themselves starting really young -
about 3rd grade for bus and 7th for subway. And that was in the big bad 70s/80s. The city is much safer now.

[Anonymous]

I have no clue who is posting "hell no" from DC, because they're dead wrong. I presume they are from the suburbs and they are projecting what they think their answers would be if they lived here, but the reality is, the DC metro and the DC buses are packed in the morning with school kids--public and private. Starting in 5th grade, when she was 10, my daughter has taken the metro to school, camps, etc. by herself. We consider ourselves protective, upper middle class parents, but city living is city living and literally every other parent we know has been doing the same with their kids since 5th grade (when they all start leaving their local elementary schools we could walk to). And she loves the independence. She has a cell phone. We always go with her on her first day--it helps with everyone's nerves and it's a fun tradition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely trust the input of a longtime cop. Especially a cop who was on the force in the same city where she will be traveling to school daily.

OP, why are you balking at his clear, professional opinion on this? Are you worried that DD won't grow up to be independent enough if she doesn't do this on her own? It's not coddling her or denying her independence to say no to this. Instead you will teach her that learning to exercise appropriate caution is as important a life skill as doing everything independently, and heeding the advice of people with experience is the smart thing to do.

So, to your question: No.

I disagree, my H is a cop and my kids would never drive, take the metro, go down to the creek, go far away to college, etc if it were up to him.

They see the worst in the world and project it onto their family.

My advice, call the school and ask them their opinion.

While I would not be happy sending my kid "alone" my Gonzaga friends do it all the time because they are not alone, once they get off the stop there are tons of kids to walk with.

I went to school in DC and took the metro bus... alone.

Gonzaga doesn't have middle school. Are you saying you wouldn't let your highschooler ride the metro?

+1 Gonzaga is a high school, are people that live in the DMV really not letting their high schoolers metro to school by themselves? My kid has been taking metro by himself from SE, DC to his upper NW high school since he started there. I don't know how people that are that overprotective even like living in a metropolitan area.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course. I started taking the bus and subway home alone in 7th grade; my child will do the same next year, in 6th grade. If your daughter doesn't know how to take the subway by herself, you need to start teaching her now.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I grew up in NYC. I took the subway to school and after-school activities by myself starting in sixth grade. When my kids are old enough, they will do the same. Growing up, this was the norm among my friends. It's still the norm today. Your daughter will be fine.

Does she have a friend who goes to the same school? Maybe if she has a friend to accompany her, your dh will feel more comfortable.

[Anonymous]

This would scare me but I would do it. A friend just wrote about letting her kid do this and how she was panicked but she knew she had to let go a little. He thanked her for trusting him.

[Anonymous]

yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no clue who is posting "hell no" from DC, because they're dead wrong. I presume they are from the suburbs and they are projecting what they think their answers would be if they lived here, but the reality is, the DC metro and the DC buses are packed in the morning with school kids--public and private. Starting in 5th grade, when she was 10, my daughter has taken the metro to school, camps, etc. by herself. We consider ourselves protective, upper middle class parents, but city living is city living and literally every other parent we know has been doing the same with their kids since 5th grade (when they all start leaving their local elementary schools we could walk to). And she loves the independence. She has a cell phone. We always go with her on her first day--it helps with everyone's nerves and it's a fun tradition.

I'm a PP. We lived in DC for 15 years (with kids) and now live in Arlington. I stand by my opinion that I would not feel comfortable with a 6th grader riding public transit alone on a regular basis, but would be happy to have him/her go with a friend. My oldest kid started taking metro rail and bus alone regularly beginning in 9th grade.

[Anonymous]

Totally fine. I took the subway 3 stops by myself every day to Hunter. Same school? I wonder because of the 7th grade reference. If yes, many/most classmates also commuted by themselves or with a friend. There are no parents at drop off, so you'd need to let her walk from the 4/5/6 by herself at the very least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I have a 14 yr old and live in San Francisco (am from NY). She was taking the subways here alone at 11. NYC is safer than SF.

+1 A few of her friends started taking the trains to school in 5th grade, all were getting themselves to school without their parents in 6th. Dd walks to school because we live so close, and takes the train alone to her Saturday language class since 5th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely trust the input of a longtime cop. Especially a cop who was on the force in the same city where she will be traveling to school daily.

OP, why are you balking at his clear, professional opinion on this? Are you worried that DD won't grow up to be independent enough if she doesn't do this on her own? It's not coddling her or denying her independence to say no to this. Instead you will teach her that learning to exercise appropriate caution is as important a life skill as doing everything independently, and heeding the advice of people with experience is the smart thing to do.

So, to your question: No.

Just to clarify DH's over-protectiveness - he had her wear a bike helmet on the subway when she was 0 to 5 years old. He stool outside her preschool for the entire day on her first day of school.

DD really wants to be independent and start her new school on her own. DH will pick her up every late afternoon and ride home with her but I thought that two stops and a couple of blocks would probably be okay.

But DH and all of you are probably right. It is no problem for me to take the subway with her and walk her to school and the go to work.

You are either trolling or your DH has an anxiety disorder.