How important is a 40th wedding anniversary

[Anonymous]

ILs live out of town but visited this last past weekend. They told my DH that in 3 weeks they and a few other couples are throwing a joint anniversary party (the others are celebrating their 50th anniversaries) and they want us to come. We haven't had a weekend to ourselves in so long - we just got back from visiting my family, DH's parents were just here, we have two weekends coming up with two birthday parties each plus my sister will be in town, AND the weekend of the party will also be my younger child's first birthday when we were planning to invite some friends over (but we haven't sent out invites). On top of all that, I have a newly discovered chronic illness (very mild, but the medication makes me very tired). I guess I'm wondering how terrible it would be to ask DH if we could stay home. Any comments?

[Anonymous]

I think it is a tremendously important milestone and that you should make it happen.

Sounds like you are happy to overbook your weekends, as long as they involve your side of the family. (And I say this as a DW!)

[Anonymous]

How far away do they live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How far away do they live?

About a 4 hour drive.

[Anonymous]

Our 40th is in a few months. The kids don't give a damn.

[Anonymous]

It's three weeks out. DH can just say you already have plans. You do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a tremendously important milestone and that you should make it happen.

Sounds like you are happy to overbook your weekends, as long as they involve your side of the family. (And I say this as a DW!)

I don't see that at all--if anything, I see too many birthday parties!

[Anonymous]

I ditch some of the random ass birthdays and go to this instead. FWIW my mom died a couple months after her and my dad's 40th so I'm probably biased.

[Anonymous]

This is important and you should go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a tremendously important milestone and that you should make it happen.

Sounds like you are happy to overbook your weekends, as long as they involve your side of the family. (And I say this as a DW!)

It would be terrible to not attend. 40th anniversary is a very big deal. I always try to take the DIL's side having bad in laws myself, but I can't for this and agree with the quote above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is important and you should go.

This.

[Anonymous]

If it was a big deal, wouldn't they have told you a while ago?

Decide which will cause more trouble: schlepping the 4 hours, or hearing about it when you don't.

[Anonymous]

Go to it. Many couples never make it to 50 because one dies.

[Anonymous]

Would you go if it was your parents 40th?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 40th is in a few months. The kids don't give a damn.

I'm pretty sure my parents have been married at least 40 years, considering that my brother is 42. I don't give a damn because they are miserable being together, and they make everyone around them miserable. I don't think there's anything to celebrate in regards to them staying together. My mother has literally never supported herself and doesn't know how so she needs my father, and I think my father would be afraid of the unknown, combined with a deep sense of "honoring obligations and commitments." If they had a happy marriage I would have been happy to celebrate it.