How important is a 40th wedding anniversary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to it. Many couples never make it to 50 because one dies.

This. My own parents and my in laws didn't make it to 50 years because one or both died.

[Anonymous]

It's a big milestone and you should go. As a PP said, what would you do if it was your parents? We planned to take my parents on a vacation for their 40th, and my dad died two weeks shy of it.

You never know what will happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Very important. More important than two birthday parties and a sister's routine visit. I would easily cancel all of the activities that you listed if necessary. Your child will not remember the first birthday. I would move that to the weekend before or after to celebrate and celebrate with your ILs. .......

Fixed that - and I agree.

PP here. Thanks for the correction. I was trying to multi-task and typed the wrong thing.

[Anonymous]

I dont think it's all that important but it is certainly more important than other things yiu listed. 2 weekends with 2 birthday parties each? Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a tremendously important milestone and that you should make it happen.

Sounds like you are happy to overbook your weekends, as long as they involve your side of the family. (And I say this as a DW!)

I don't see that at all--if anything, I see too many birthday parties! [/quote
+1

It's more important than attending a couple of birthday parties, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dont think it's all that important but it is certainly more important than other things yiu listed. 2 weekends with 2 birthday parties each? Come on.

OP here - the only birthday conflict with this party is my baby's first birthday. I mentioned the others only to say that I'm tired because we have a lot going on. I'm not sure why people are bashing me, I genuinely wanted to know if this is an important deal or not - 40 is kind of arbitrary. My parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary party that we traveled for, but didn't do anything for their 40th. My ILs are much younger than my parents and are in great health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont think it's all that important but it is certainly more important than other things yiu listed. 2 weekends with 2 birthday parties each? Come on.

OP here - the only birthday conflict with this party is my baby's first birthday. I mentioned the others only to say that I'm tired because we have a lot going on. I'm not sure why people are bashing me, I genuinely wanted to know if this is an important deal or not - 40 is kind of arbitrary. My parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary party that we traveled for, but didn't do anything for their 40th. My ILs are much younger than my parents and are in great health.

The people celebrating the anniversary will remember it. Your 1-year-old has no idea what the heck is even going on around him. The only person that's important to is you. Just being honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont think it's all that important but it is certainly more important than other things yiu listed. 2 weekends with 2 birthday parties each? Come on.

OP here - the only birthday conflict with this party is my baby's first birthday. I mentioned the others only to say that I'm tired because we have a lot going on. I'm not sure why people are bashing me, I genuinely wanted to know if this is an important deal or not - 40 is kind of arbitrary. My parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary party that we traveled for, but didn't do anything for their 40th. My ILs are much younger than my parents and are in great health.

The people celebrating the anniversary will remember it. Your 1-year-old has no idea what the heck is even going on around him. The only person that's important to is you. Just being honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont think it's all that important but it is certainly more important than other things yiu listed. 2 weekends with 2 birthday parties each? Come on.

OP here - the only birthday conflict with this party is my baby's first birthday. I mentioned the others only to say that I'm tired because we have a lot going on. I'm not sure why people are bashing me, I genuinely wanted to know if this is an important deal or not - 40 is kind of arbitrary. My parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary party that we traveled for, but didn't do anything for their 40th. My ILs are much younger than my parents and are in great health.

OP, do you like your in laws? Do you get along well with your in laws?

[Anonymous]

They only told you with 3 weeks notice and it's a joint anniversary party with other couples. It sounds like they, as friends, want to celebrate their marriages - that's nice! I wouldn't feel very obligated to go. I'm sure others here will disagree, but every family is different. I'm not into big celebrations. Our 30th is coming up and I don't think our kids even think about it. I'm not sure they even know the date we got married. DH and I celebrate and remember back all those years and it's special for us. I'm the pp that said we know our kids love us and I don't put obligations on them.

[Anonymous]

You should not feel any obligation. Your your DH feels an obligation, which I think is reasonable, he can go alone. If he thinks it's oh-so-important for the kids to be there, he can take the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont think it's all that important but it is certainly more important than other things yiu listed. 2 weekends with 2 birthday parties each? Come on.

OP here - the only birthday conflict with this party is my baby's first birthday. I mentioned the others only to say that I'm tired because we have a lot going on. I'm not sure why people are bashing me, I genuinely wanted to know if this is an important deal or not - 40 is kind of arbitrary. My parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary party that we traveled for, but didn't do anything for their 40th. My ILs are much younger than my parents and are in great health.

Yeah I get that other birthdays are not directly in conflict. But You listed them as a reasonnot to go and did that again - they make you tired and you don't want to make the extra effort for the anniversary.

What people are saying is - cancel those other random birthdays. With kids there is a bithday every weekend! You can skip some and there will plenty more. Then see if you have enough time/energy to make the anniversary. It's not an absolute must but as I said it's many times more important than those other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont think it's all that important but it is certainly more important than other things yiu listed. 2 weekends with 2 birthday parties each? Come on.

OP here - the only birthday conflict with this party is my baby's first birthday. I mentioned the others only to say that I'm tired because we have a lot going on. I'm not sure why people are bashing me, I genuinely wanted to know if this is an important deal or not - 40 is kind of arbitrary. My parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary party that we traveled for, but didn't do anything for their 40th. My ILs are much younger than my parents and are in great health.

1. You can move your 1 year old's party. It's not like he has a clue anyway.

2. You would have traveled to your parents if they had had a 40th your DH is owed the same courtesy.

3. Young and in great health means nothing that can all change in an instant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont think it's all that important but it is certainly more important than other things yiu listed. 2 weekends with 2 birthday parties each? Come on.

OP here - the only birthday conflict with this party is my baby's first birthday. I mentioned the others only to say that I'm tired because we have a lot going on. I'm not sure why people are bashing me, I genuinely wanted to know if this is an important deal or not - 40 is kind of arbitrary. My parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary party that we traveled for, but didn't do anything for their 40th. My ILs are much younger than my parents and are in great health.

my mother was in perfect health and six month later she was dead. 10 years is a long time to gamble that two grandparents will be alive.

[Anonymous]

NP here...I don't get the whole celebrate anniversary thing with other people. What is the purpose? Aren't anniversaries about celebrating with each other? My parents have never once celebrated their anniversaries and neither have my ILs. In fact, DH and I have never celebrated our anniversaries with each other. I also don't get celebrating non-kids' birthdays either.