If you went out on a limb to get someone hired...

[Anonymous]

Our friends older son (mid-20s) has finished school and is looking to get into his chosen career field, which just so happens to be my husband's field. My husband stuck his neck out and put in a good word for him, and had his resume practically placed directly on the recruiters desk himself. The kid had multiple interviews and a (costly) background check. He was offered the job, but now he's not sure he wants it (entry level work/entry level pay - he thinks he will do better somewhere else. Salary WAS discussed in the beginning of the interview process.)

My husband is really upset. He wasted his time, and the recruiter and other execs wasted their time (and money) on interviews, when they could have been finding someone else to fill the position.

He doesn't even know what to say to this young man, but feels he needs to say something. Where do you begin in thes situation.

(He hasn't told my husband he won't be taking the job, he told the recruiter he "probably won't" and "needs to think about it" because of the financial aspect, and the recruiter told my husband.)

[Anonymous]

Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

[Anonymous]

^ I mean he IS qualified. Seems that's "not the case" is that I meant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

[Anonymous]

I think dh should never help the kid again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ I mean he IS qualified. Seems that's "not the case" is that I meant.

Well no, they loved him. He had shadowed for a week and everything. He seemed to be a perfect fit.

[Anonymous]

Shadowing for a week is a lot. Maybe he didn't like it there?

It sounds like he is not mature enough just tell your DH "Thanks, but..." which is what he should do. He definitely should't have to take the job that isn't right in deference to your DH, but he should probably communicate. Maybe he will after he makes his decision?

If I were DH I wouldn't say anything though. What's gonna come of it? What's the point? He's an adult.

[Anonymous]

This is why you should never go this far out on a limb for someone. If you really want to hire them and recruit them, then go for it and also sell them on the job. If you don't care whether they work there, you just flip the resume over to the recruiter without commentary.

At this point, it's probably a teaching opportunity. Maybe this kid doesn't realize how much time, effort, and money go into recruiting. But I really wouldn't say that much. Just let it go and don't put yourself in this position again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shadowing for a week is a lot. Maybe he didn't like it there?

It sounds like he is not mature enough just tell your DH "Thanks, but..." which is what he should do. He definitely should't have to take the job that isn't right in deference to your DH, but he should probably communicate. Maybe he will after he makes his decision?

If I were DH I wouldn't say anything though. What's gonna come of it? What's the point? He's an adult.

He was all about it, but his wife thinks he will make more money somewhere else (he won't; compare his position to a doc review job offer at a law firm. Gotta start somewhere to get your feet wet. He would absolutely be offered a job from within eventually, but he's never going to without being in doc review first. He truly will have a hard time doing better elsewhere.) His wife thinks he will be offered a better position somewhere else with no experience. This is what he told the recruiter, who basically told him he's passing up a really good offer.

It's really a maturity issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

You don't know why OP's DH is upset? Really? A lot of people spend time and effort to interview him and finally hire him. For him to back out now makes DH looks really silly, not to mention wasted effort by others on this kid per DH's recommendation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shadowing for a week is a lot. Maybe he didn't like it there?

It sounds like he is not mature enough just tell your DH "Thanks, but..." which is what he should do. He definitely should't have to take the job that isn't right in deference to your DH, but he should probably communicate. Maybe he will after he makes his decision?

If I were DH I wouldn't say anything though. What's gonna come of it? What's the point? He's an adult.

He was all about it, but his wife thinks he will make more money somewhere else (he won't; compare his position to a doc review job offer at a law firm. Gotta start somewhere to get your feet wet. He would absolutely be offered a job from within eventually, but he's never going to without being in doc review first. He truly will have a hard time doing better elsewhere.) His wife thinks he will be offered a better position somewhere else with no experience. This is what he told the recruiter, who basically told him he's passing up a really good offer.

It's really a maturity issue.

Are you an attorney or is this a legal job? Because doc review is a pretty hard thing to climb out of. It's absolutely not an ideal place to start and is a huge uphill battle and career killer/dead end. Getting a different/substantive legal job after doc review can be done, but it's not easy or typical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

You don't know why OP's DH is upset? Really? A lot of people spend time and effort to interview him and finally hire him. For him to back out now makes DH looks really silly, not to mention wasted effort by others on this kid per DH's recommendation.

I really don't see how it makes DH look silly. It's not DH's son. He's not responsible for that person.

The kid has a right to turn down the job. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

You don't know why OP's DH is upset? Really? A lot of people spend time and effort to interview him and finally hire him. For him to back out now makes DH looks really silly, not to mention wasted effort by others on this kid per DH's recommendation.

Yes, I would be upset. It takes time to help someone get a good position. Just writing letters of reference is something I do but I don't like the time it takes. If I had vouched for someone and my firm had done as much as it sounds like DH's did, I would be annoyed that, at the end, the kid says "uh, no, i'm going to look elsewhere".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

+1. I gotta wonder why he's so invested in it? I email a recruiter info about a candidate for a referral then its up to them to land the job. Why did your husband push so hard or why is he so invested? This is business. If the kid finds a better paying job- more power to them.