If you went out on a limb to get someone hired...

[Anonymous]

So he just graduated from grad school ... without already having an offer? Red flag.

Desperate, he asks for help in May.

Now he feels overconfident?

Sounds like a typical flaky millennial. I predict lots of job hopping wherever he ends up.

Let me guess, his family has money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

You don't know why OP's DH is upset? Really? A lot of people spend time and effort to interview him and finally hire him. For him to back out now makes DH looks really silly, not to mention wasted effort by others on this kid per DH's recommendation.

I really don't see how it makes DH look silly. It's not DH's son. He's not responsible for that person.

The kid has a right to turn down the job. Period.

Because he went around vouched for him. He gave his words saying the young man is a real deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

You don't know why OP's DH is upset? Really? A lot of people spend time and effort to interview him and finally hire him. For him to back out now makes DH looks really silly, not to mention wasted effort by others on this kid per DH's recommendation.

I really don't see how it makes DH look silly. It's not DH's son. He's not responsible for that person.

The kid has a right to turn down the job. Period.

Because he went around vouched for him. He gave his words saying the young man is a real deal.

And they brought him in and liked him. They wanted to make him an offer. So DH was right; the kid is a winner. Whether or not he takes the job is irrelevant. DH put forward a viable and qualified candidate. That's his part in this...not making sure the kid takes the job.

[Anonymous]

So he graduated in May without a job, asked your DH for help, got 1 offer and now is ready to turn it down bc something better MIGHT be out there? If there were SOOO many better offers out there, why didn't he secure one prior to graduation? Honestly if I were your DH I'd subtly say the preceding and let it be known that you think this is the bird in hand . . . and then drop it bc apparently he and his wife have it under control.

[Anonymous]

And they brought him in and liked him. They wanted to make him an offer. So DH was right; the kid is a winner. Whether or not he takes the job is irrelevant. DH put forward a viable and qualified candidate. That's his part in this...not making sure the kid takes the job.

But DH did what he did because the young man told him that he wanted the job and now he is backing out. Either that or OP's DH totally mis-read young man's intention from the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And they brought him in and liked him. They wanted to make him an offer. So DH was right; the kid is a winner. Whether or not he takes the job is irrelevant. DH put forward a viable and qualified candidate. That's his part in this...not making sure the kid takes the job.

But DH did what he did because the young man told him that he wanted the job and now he is backing out. Either that or OP's DH totally mis-read young man's intention from the beginning.

I don't know about you, but I've definitely applied for jobs thinking that they look great on paper, but when I get there and meet the people, I realize it's a total sh*tshow and not a fit. I withdraw from the process. You don't know at the beginning if it's a fit. You're making a decision about them like they're making a decision about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

You don't know why OP's DH is upset? Really? A lot of people spend time and effort to interview him and finally hire him. For him to back out now makes DH looks really silly, not to mention wasted effort by others on this kid per DH's recommendation.

I really don't see how it makes DH look silly. It's not DH's son. He's not responsible for that person.

The kid has a right to turn down the job. Period.

+1. Recruiters go through this stuff all the time. It's part of their job. The DH doesn't look silly, and the kid is not obligated to take the job. What, just because your DH put in a word for him, he's supposed to take the job offer no matter what?

Also, you're way too involved/invest in this.

[Anonymous]

I think your husband should feel free to have a "Come to Jesus" phone call with this young man in which he explains the facts of life about their industry.

But I also hope your husband won't decline to be helpful to others in the future.

[Anonymous]

So, he wants more $?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

+1. I gotta wonder why he's so invested in it? I email a recruiter info about a candidate for a referral then its up to them to land the job. Why did your husband push so hard or why is he so invested? This is business. If the kid finds a better paying job- more power to them.

Except it doesn't sound like this kid found a better paying job. It just sounds like he's holding out because he thinks this job is beneath him. Entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Ok, so would it be better for DH's reputation if the kid actually took the job, was terrible, and left after 2 months for something that paid better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

+1. I gotta wonder why he's so invested in it? I email a recruiter info about a candidate for a referral then its up to them to land the job. Why did your husband push so hard or why is he so invested? This is business. If the kid finds a better paying job- more power to them.

Except it doesn't sound like this kid found a better paying job. It just sounds like he's holding out because he thinks this job is beneath him. Entitlement.

Um, I've definitely turned down jobs that didn't pay well. It's not entitlement, it's making smart career decisions. Many of your subsequent salaries will be a derivative of that first salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, so would it be better for DH's reputation if the kid actually took the job, was terrible, and left after 2 months for something that paid better?

Yes, after 2 months no one will remember DH's role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

+1. I gotta wonder why he's so invested in it? I email a recruiter info about a candidate for a referral then its up to them to land the job. Why did your husband push so hard or why is he so invested? This is business. If the kid finds a better paying job- more power to them.

Except it doesn't sound like this kid found a better paying job. It just sounds like he's holding out because he thinks this job is beneath him. Entitlement.

Um, I've definitely turned down jobs that didn't pay well. It's not entitlement, it's making smart career decisions. Many of your subsequent salaries will be a derivative of that first salary.

I think you are missing the forest for the trees. The kid knew the salary from the get go. Shouldn't have allowed the process to get this far if the salary was a sticking point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So he just graduated from grad school ... without already having an offer? Red flag.

Desperate, he asks for help in May.

Now he feels overconfident?

Sounds like a typical flaky millennial. I predict lots of job hopping wherever he ends up.

Let me guess, his family has money?

Probably never even has had a really job before