If you went out on a limb to get someone hired...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

+1. I gotta wonder why he's so invested in it? I email a recruiter info about a candidate for a referral then its up to them to land the job. Why did your husband push so hard or why is he so invested? This is business. If the kid finds a better paying job- more power to them.

Except it doesn't sound like this kid found a better paying job. It just sounds like he's holding out because he thinks this job is beneath him. Entitlement.

Um, I've definitely turned down jobs that didn't pay well. It's not entitlement, it's making smart career decisions. Many of your subsequent salaries will be a derivative of that first salary.

I think you are missing the forest for the trees. The kid knew the salary from the get go. Shouldn't have allowed the process to get this far if the salary was a sticking point.

Sometimes you just want to have an iron in the fire even if the salary isn't exactly what you hoped. Then, when things get real and you have to decide to take the job or turn it down, you decide that it's not for you. I'm sure it was a variety of things that caused the kid to potentially turn it down, and salary was one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And they brought him in and liked him. They wanted to make him an offer. So DH was right; the kid is a winner. Whether or not he takes the job is irrelevant. DH put forward a viable and qualified candidate. That's his part in this...not making sure the kid takes the job.

But DH did what he did because the young man told him that he wanted the job and now he is backing out. Either that or OP's DH totally mis-read young man's intention from the beginning.

I don't know about you, but I've definitely applied for jobs thinking that they look great on paper, but when I get there and meet the people, I realize it's a total sh*tshow and not a fit. I withdraw from the process. You don't know at the beginning if it's a fit. You're making a decision about them like they're making a decision about you.

NP. The young man said his reason was financial, not due to a bad fit. He knew the salary going into the process, if it wasn't enough he could have withdrawn then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And they brought him in and liked him. They wanted to make him an offer. So DH was right; the kid is a winner. Whether or not he takes the job is irrelevant. DH put forward a viable and qualified candidate. That's his part in this...not making sure the kid takes the job.

But DH did what he did because the young man told him that he wanted the job and now he is backing out. Either that or OP's DH totally mis-read young man's intention from the beginning.

I don't know about you, but I've definitely applied for jobs thinking that they look great on paper, but when I get there and meet the people, I realize it's a total sh*tshow and not a fit. I withdraw from the process. You don't know at the beginning if it's a fit. You're making a decision about them like they're making a decision about you.

NP. The young man said his reason was financial, not due to a bad fit. He knew the salary going into the process, if it wasn't enough he could have withdrawn then.

Sometimes I've said the reason is financial because I don't want to call them a**hats to their faces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And they brought him in and liked him. They wanted to make him an offer. So DH was right; the kid is a winner. Whether or not he takes the job is irrelevant. DH put forward a viable and qualified candidate. That's his part in this...not making sure the kid takes the job.

But DH did what he did because the young man told him that he wanted the job and now he is backing out. Either that or OP's DH totally mis-read young man's intention from the beginning.

I don't know about you, but I've definitely applied for jobs thinking that they look great on paper, but when I get there and meet the people, I realize it's a total sh*tshow and not a fit. I withdraw from the process. You don't know at the beginning if it's a fit. You're making a decision about them like they're making a decision about you.

NP. The young man said his reason was financial, not due to a bad fit. He knew the salary going into the process, if it wasn't enough he could have withdrawn then.

Sometimes I've said the reason is financial because I don't want to call them a**hats to their faces.

So you can read his mind now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And they brought him in and liked him. They wanted to make him an offer. So DH was right; the kid is a winner. Whether or not he takes the job is irrelevant. DH put forward a viable and qualified candidate. That's his part in this...not making sure the kid takes the job.

But DH did what he did because the young man told him that he wanted the job and now he is backing out. Either that or OP's DH totally mis-read young man's intention from the beginning.

I don't know about you, but I've definitely applied for jobs thinking that they look great on paper, but when I get there and meet the people, I realize it's a total sh*tshow and not a fit. I withdraw from the process. You don't know at the beginning if it's a fit. You're making a decision about them like they're making a decision about you.

NP. The young man said his reason was financial, not due to a bad fit. He knew the salary going into the process, if it wasn't enough he could have withdrawn then.

Sometimes I've said the reason is financial because I don't want to call them a**hats to their faces.

So you can read his mind now?

Just offering a possibility, dude. Honestly, I think it's incredibly strange that the recruiter would offer OP's DH details about what the job applicant's wife is thinking. Like, the decision to turn down the job goes from the job applicant's wife, to the job applicant, to the recruiter, to DH, to DH's wife who then posts on DCUM. I doubt all of the details are reliably recalled in this game of telephone.

[Anonymous]

Can I ask if this is a temporary "doc review" position at a big law firm through a legal recruiter? Or at a small law practice where he can actually learn more and part of the job is reviewing legal documents? That is not what we typically call "doc review" and "executives" don't get involved in hiring entry level "doc review contract attorneys." So confusing.

Basically, what the young man did is shitty, and I feel bad for your husband even if this was an easy to get position. But tell him such is life, don't lose sleep over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I ask if this is a temporary "doc review" position at a big law firm through a legal recruiter? Or at a small law practice where he can actually learn more and part of the job is reviewing legal documents? That is not what we typically call "doc review" and "executives" don't get involved in hiring entry level "doc review contract attorneys." So confusing.

Basically, what the young man did is shitty, and I feel bad for your husband even if this was an easy to get position. But tell him such is life, don't lose sleep over it.

It's neither, OP said it was just an example. Don't take it so literally. It's obviously some field in which one needs to spend time in the "trenches" and gain experience before they move ahead, or so I assume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I ask if this is a temporary "doc review" position at a big law firm through a legal recruiter? Or at a small law practice where he can actually learn more and part of the job is reviewing legal documents? That is not what we typically call "doc review" and "executives" don't get involved in hiring entry level "doc review contract attorneys." So confusing.

Basically, what the young man did is shitty, and I feel bad for your husband even if this was an easy to get position. But tell him such is life, don't lose sleep over it.

It's neither, OP said it was just an example. Don't take it so literally. It's obviously some field in which one needs to spend time in the "trenches" and gain experience before they move ahead, or so I assume.

I get the idea that you may have to be in the trenches first, but the doc review did not make the comparison seem like that. It painted a picture that did not make the job look attractive. And OP has not clarified that point yet. This makes me question her assertion that he would "obviously get a real offer later." If the first part of the analogy didn't make sense, why would we trust that part?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need more info here. Did the guy approach your husband and persist? Did he mention he'd like help? Did your DH just offer?

I don't think this kid is under any kind of obligation to take this job. He owes it to himself to do multiple interviews, and to take the best job for him. Perhaps he found out in this process that he was a better candidate than he thought.

It kind of sounds like your DH really wanted to help and pushed the recruiter. He shouldn't have done that unless the kid really begged, and no one should do that if the applicant is not qualified (which it seems he's not).

I should clarify. The kid found out they were hiring and asked my husband if he could put in a good word for him. He did, to the recruiter. He told him to look out for X's resume. The recruiter told him he'd do him one better and find it and start the process.

I don't know why your husband is so upset. I do this for lots of people, and that's where my obligation ends. Some people get hired, some people don't, but after I put in a word, I'm out of it.

+1. I gotta wonder why he's so invested in it? I email a recruiter info about a candidate for a referral then its up to them to land the job. Why did your husband push so hard or why is he so invested? This is business. If the kid finds a better paying job- more power to them.

Except it doesn't sound like this kid found a better paying job. It just sounds like he's holding out because he thinks this job is beneath him. Entitlement.

Um, I've definitely turned down jobs that didn't pay well. It's not entitlement, it's making smart career decisions. Many of your subsequent salaries will be a derivative of that first salary.

I think you are missing the forest for the trees. The kid knew the salary from the get go. Shouldn't have allowed the process to get this far if the salary was a sticking point.

How do we even know for sure that was the sticking point- I mean sounds like the kid shadowed for a week- maybe he thought the job was different going in and realized it's just not worth it for the money they're offering. I mean this kid is not obligated to take a job just because it's offered. How many people on this job board give that exact same advice or tell people to negotiate even if you know the salary range going in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And they brought him in and liked him. They wanted to make him an offer. So DH was right; the kid is a winner. Whether or not he takes the job is irrelevant. DH put forward a viable and qualified candidate. That's his part in this...not making sure the kid takes the job.

But DH did what he did because the young man told him that he wanted the job and now he is backing out. Either that or OP's DH totally mis-read young man's intention from the beginning.

I don't know about you, but I've definitely applied for jobs thinking that they look great on paper, but when I get there and meet the people, I realize it's a total sh*tshow and not a fit. I withdraw from the process. You don't know at the beginning if it's a fit. You're making a decision about them like they're making a decision about you.

NP. The young man said his reason was financial, not due to a bad fit. He knew the salary going into the process, if it wasn't enough he could have withdrawn then.

Sometimes I've said the reason is financial because I don't want to call them a**hats to their faces.

+1. Or I don't want to say "you can't pay me enough money to work with those people" or "this job is a total bait and switch!"

[Anonymous]

OP, be honest, should the position be paying more than what they are offering to him?

[Anonymous]

NP and I think OP is hiding the ball. OP mentions that the candidate shadowed for a week, which likely means that he spent a week on the job and witnessed the day to day. It's very possible that the candidate did not think the experience would be beneficial to his career in the long run (hence the doc review shout out) and is second-guessing his commitment. While maybe immature, the candidate may see bailing now as a kinder gesture to OP's DH than quitting six months in.

[Anonymous]

Oh my god, can we talk about the real issue here? OP, why are you posting here when it's your husband's problem? I presume he's an adult who can type well enough to ask the interwebs a question...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, can we talk about the real issue here? OP, why are you posting here when it's your husband's problem? I presume he's an adult who can type well enough to ask the interwebs a question...

Seriously, you both are way too invested in this.

Job searches take work on both the end of the employer and employee. Your DH can learn from this. Recommend but don't overreach. And the recruiter will be fine. If this is really an entry level job they have lots of other candidates, they didn't kill themselves with recruiting, so it's fine.

And yes, why are *you* so worried about this? Was this a special favor to you so now you look bad? IF so, let this be a lesson to you. Give the resume to DH nothing more in the future. And don't give out his contact info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think dh should never help the kid again.

+1