I don't deal well with melodrama, please help.

[Anonymous]

My younger sister and I get along well. We've been working towards a good relationship (grew up in separate households) for awhile now. The one thing that bothers me is that I find her to be overly dramatic. For example, I'll think things are good, then out of the blue she'll send me a text like:

"Why do I not know where you live or have my nephew's phone number. I'm kind hearted and a good person even though I have my relationship problems, I'm trustworthy and thoughtful..so why?"

Bear in mind, I don't know where she lives or have her child's phone number either. We live in separate cities. I did not respond right away to this text, my youngest and I have had rotavirus. So, then she calls. I don't answer because I'm vomiting. She sends:

"Filed away"

then

"Could destroy a good person by ignoring them"

Help me here DCUM. I don't deal well with this stuff. Maybe I'm a bad person. But when I'm sick, or anytime, I don't really feel like dealing with someone who I view as melodramatic and looking for reasons that people have failed her. How do I deal with this?

[Anonymous]

"Larla, Joe and I have rotavirus. We can discuss your issues sometime when I'm not so sick. I don't text people that often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Larla, Joe and I have rotavirus. We can discuss your issues sometime when I'm not so sick. I don't text people that often.

Got it, thanks! What about on an ongoing basis? Seems like she's always looking for problems.

[Anonymous]

I would argue that if she acts like this you really don't get along well--she clearly has issues that impact your relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would argue that if she acts like this you really don't get along well--she clearly has issues that impact your relationship.

Fair enough. I don't think it's just me though. I think this is her personality. She calls it being a good person and an over thinker.

[Anonymous]

Train her that it's going to take at least three days to respond to any text. Minimum. Each and every time.

[Anonymous]

Put yourself in her shoes. Sending a message to someone in this era of instant communication and then not hearing a response (of any sort back) for days leaves one feeling anxious and unsettled. She's trying to get a reaction from you. If you want to have a good relationship with her, try responding with at least an acknowledgement of her message sooner. In the time it took you to post on DCUM, you could've sent her a quick message. "Got your message, will reply later." I'm not sure she's the dramatic one; you seem to be inviting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put yourself in her shoes. Sending a message to someone in this era of instant communication and then not hearing a response (of any sort back) for days leaves one feeling anxious and unsettled. She's trying to get a reaction from you. If you want to have a good relationship with her, try responding with at least an acknowledgement of her message sooner. In the time it took you to post on DCUM, you could've sent her a quick message. "Got your message, will reply later." I'm not sure she's the dramatic one; you seem to be inviting it.

This is not healthy behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put yourself in her shoes. Sending a message to someone in this era of instant communication and then not hearing a response (of any sort back) for days leaves one feeling anxious and unsettled. She's trying to get a reaction from you. If you want to have a good relationship with her, try responding with at least an acknowledgement of her message sooner. In the time it took you to post on DCUM, you could've sent her a quick message. "Got your message, will reply later." I'm not sure she's the dramatic one; you seem to be inviting it.

This is not healthy behavior.

Maybe it would've been more correct to say, "a response." It doesn't seem that the sister is trying to harm OP, just soothe her anxiety, caused by OP's silence. The silent treatment is also unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

It IS really weird for your SIBLING to not know your address. Why didn't you just text her "That IS silly of us! 123 Church St, DC, 20012. What's yours?" when you felt better?

[Anonymous]

I'm gonna file this under "emotional manipulation".

Take the pressure off. Don't get defensive. Look for a way to make a joke when you respond to her drama. Make fun of her for it.

"Easy drama llama I was barfing yak for a few days there so couldn't get back to you right away." Something ridiculous works best.

[Anonymous]

How is asking for an address being dramatic? And why does that need days to respond? It's not like it requires a great deal thought or effort to compose.

[Anonymous]

Okay, I'll bite. Why DOESN"T your sister have your address?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is asking for an address being dramatic? And why does that need days to respond? It's not like it requires a great deal thought or effort to compose.

Asking for an address: Hey Larla, what's your address?

Being melodramatic: Larla I'm such a good person why oh why do I not have your address (even though it's never come up before now)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm gonna file this under "emotional manipulation".

Take the pressure off. Don't get defensive. Look for a way to make a joke when you respond to her drama. Make fun of her for it.

"Easy drama llama I was barfing yak for a few days there so couldn't get back to you right away." Something ridiculous works best.

I don't think so. I'd be pretty pissed if someone called me a "drama llama" as a "joke", and I'd think they had the EQ of a 12 year old