I don't deal well with melodrama, please help.

[Anonymous]

I think the sister may be feeling controlled by OP, who seems to be setting the pace for the relationship. Just answer her question about the address and ignore the rest. You don't have to debate her every sentence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I'll bite. Why DOESN"T your sister have your address?

OP here. We just moved and it literally hasn't come up yet. I don't have hers either. We live in different cities and don't mail each other things. There is no auspicious reason for her not to have it, if she'd asked me I'd be more than happy to give it to her. I guess I just feel like this is one example of a bigger scenario in which the little thing gets "filed away" (her words) as evidence that someone has hurt her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would argue that if she acts like this you really don't get along well--she clearly has issues that impact your relationship.

Fair enough. I don't think it's just me though. I think this is her personality. She calls it being a good person and an over thinker.

PP here. I call it untreated anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should ask her if she's ok. I hate drama too, but being defensive will likely backfire with her personality type. Maybe just call her up, tell her what's been going on with you, ask her if she's ok Bc she seems really stressed. And just pick up the phone now and again to chat with her without any real reason. Don't feed the drama, just stay calm and keep putting in some effort to maintain a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is asking for an address being dramatic? And why does that need days to respond? It's not like it requires a great deal thought or effort to compose.

Asking for an address: Hey Larla, what's your address?

Being melodramatic: Larla I'm such a good person why oh why do I not have your address (even though it's never come up before now)

This. So much this.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, that would stress me to no end.
I would tell her that I sometimes don't respond immedately and it's not because I don't like her, I do this to everyone and that's just how it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Larla, Joe and I have rotavirus. We can discuss your issues sometime when I'm not so sick. I don't text people that often.

OP here, okay so I went with a variation of this. Basically just "Sorry, we have rotavirus and are super sick".

Her response: "I tried calling you, it's not like I can guess. Not sure why you wouldn't let me know you were ill"

Was I supposed to send out an alert to everyone that I was sick now? Help, DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Larla, Joe and I have rotavirus. We can discuss your issues sometime when I'm not so sick. I don't text people that often.

OP here, okay so I went with a variation of this. Basically just "Sorry, we have rotavirus and are super sick".

Her response: "I tried calling you, it's not like I can guess. Not sure why you wouldn't let me know you were ill"

Was I supposed to send out an alert to everyone that I was sick now? Help, DCUM.

You know how she is and you are contributing to the drama. You were sick for several days but probably weren't throwing up all that time. You could have texted that you'll get back to her soon after getting well. She seems anxious and thus prone to misinterpreting things - I have friends and family like this. Unfortunately, if you want to continue the relationship you have to be the one who accommodates your sibling's personality. Ignore her c flare-ups and don't buy into the drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Larla, Joe and I have rotavirus. We can discuss your issues sometime when I'm not so sick. I don't text people that often.

OP here, okay so I went with a variation of this. Basically just "Sorry, we have rotavirus and are super sick".

Her response: "I tried calling you, it's not like I can guess. Not sure why you wouldn't let me know you were ill"

Was I supposed to send out an alert to everyone that I was sick now? Help, DCUM.

Let it go. Take a few deep breaths. She's angry and she needs time to calm down. Don't take the bait. You're being a bit dramatic here yourself though, suggesting you needed to send out an announcement. I think you know she means you could've sent her a short message after her first attempt.

[Anonymous]

I have a crazy sister too. I just remind her occasionally that I'm busy, and that I love her, but sometimes it's not practical for me to have a long conversation when she's wanting to so I'll answer when I'm able. Then I ignore the nonsense. There's a lot of nonsense to ignore and sometimes I want to reach through the phone and shake her and say quit being a drama queen! Then I realize she's rubbing off on me and I go back to ignoring things when she's clearly trying to get a rise out of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Larla, Joe and I have rotavirus. We can discuss your issues sometime when I'm not so sick. I don't text people that often.

OP here, okay so I went with a variation of this. Basically just "Sorry, we have rotavirus and are super sick".

Her response: "I tried calling you, it's not like I can guess. Not sure why you wouldn't let me know you were ill"

Was I supposed to send out an alert to everyone that I was sick now? Help, DCUM.

You need to establish very very firm boundaries with her. Or else this relationship will kill you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My younger sister and I get along well. We've been working towards a good relationship (grew up in separate households) for awhile now. The one thing that bothers me is that I find her to be overly dramatic. For example, I'll think things are good, then out of the blue she'll send me a text like:

"Why do I not know where you live or have my nephew's phone number. I'm kind hearted and a good person even though I have my relationship problems, I'm trustworthy and thoughtful..so why?"

Bear in mind, I don't know where she lives or have her child's phone number either. We live in separate cities. I did not respond right away to this text, my youngest and I have had rotavirus. So, then she calls. I don't answer because I'm vomiting. She sends:

"Filed away"

then

"Could destroy a good person by ignoring them"

Help me here DCUM. I don't deal well with this stuff. Maybe I'm a bad person. But when I'm sick, or anytime, I don't really feel like dealing with someone who I view as melodramatic and looking for reasons that people have failed her. How do I deal with this?

Yikes. I would reevaluate having a close relationship with her. Bad news.

[Anonymous]

Yikes is right. This is way too much crazy for me. She sounds very strange. I would keep my distance personally.

[Anonymous]

She sounds extremely immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Larla, Joe and I have rotavirus. We can discuss your issues sometime when I'm not so sick. I don't text people that often.

OP here, okay so I went with a variation of this. Basically just "Sorry, we have rotavirus and are super sick".

Her response: "I tried calling you, it's not like I can guess. Not sure why you wouldn't let me know you were ill"

Was I supposed to send out an alert to everyone that I was sick now? Help, DCUM.

Hahahahahahah congrats to your sister for finding a way to feel sorry for HERSELF when YOU'RE the one who had rotavirus!! This is not a healthy/normal response. A normal response is "Oh no! I'm sorry you're sick!" Boundaries, and don't take the bait. Don't even try to walk on eggshells or be apologetic because you will never win that way.

I wouldn't respond to this text...I mean, you can text her back, but do NOT respond to her efforts to be the victim...I would make it about something else, and maybe ask a question. "Yeah rotavirus was a bummer. When is Larlo's last day of school? Can't believe summer is here already!"