Field hockey clubs feedback

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So not necessarily attacking/speaking poorly of your DD, but more stealing her connections/benefiting from efforts.

Club coaches should know better. The problem is the club coach, not necessarily the other players.

I understand player 1 may have started the connection with the college of interest, but doesn't the club coach have an obligation to all players? Are they supposed to say sorry, player 2, I can't talk to the college about you because player 1 was interested first? So long as the club coach isn't trying to push one player at the expense of the other I don't see what the problem is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So not necessarily attacking/speaking poorly of your DD, but more stealing her connections/benefiting from efforts.

Club coaches should know better. The problem is the club coach, not necessarily the other players.

I understand player 1 may have started the connection with the college of interest, but doesn't the club coach have an obligation to all players? Are they supposed to say sorry, player 2, I can't talk to the college about you because player 1 was interested first? So long as the club coach isn't trying to push one player at the expense of the other I don't see what the problem is.

Therein lies the problem, esp. when the one being pushed is a relative, best friend's kid, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So not necessarily attacking/speaking poorly of your DD, but more stealing her connections/benefiting from efforts.

Club coaches should know better. The problem is the club coach, not necessarily the other players.

I understand player 1 may have started the connection with the college of interest, but doesn't the club coach have an obligation to all players? Are they supposed to say sorry, player 2, I can't talk to the college about you because player 1 was interested first? So long as the club coach isn't trying to push one player at the expense of the other I don't see what the problem is.

Therein lies the problem, esp. when the one being pushed is a relative, best friend's kid, etc.

This. There is something wrong with player 1 asking for coach support when she has been in communication with a college coach and then club coach pushes another player instead to the same college coach during a phone call meant to support player 1. Why is it so difficult for the PP to understand that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So not necessarily attacking/speaking poorly of your DD, but more stealing her connections/benefiting from efforts.

Club coaches should know better. The problem is the club coach, not necessarily the other players.

I understand player 1 may have started the connection with the college of interest, but doesn't the club coach have an obligation to all players? Are they supposed to say sorry, player 2, I can't talk to the college about you because player 1 was interested first? So long as the club coach isn't trying to push one player at the expense of the other I don't see what the problem is.

Therein lies the problem, esp. when the one being pushed is a relative, best friend's kid, etc.

This. There is something wrong with player 1 asking for coach support when she has been in communication with a college coach and then club coach pushes another player instead to the same college coach during a phone call meant to support player 1. Why is it so difficult for the PP to understand that?

The original poster to bring up keeping your recruiting info private pointed to teammates being the issue. And now a few people are saying the club coach is the issue. Which is it? What do teammates/their parents do?

Why are you assuming the coach is just pushing player 2 and disregarding player 1? Maybe the college asked about player 2? The coach has an obligation to both players. There is no calling dibs on a college.

You act like a coach can’t have a conversation with a college about multiple players. The issue is a coach failing to support both players. I don’t see anyone arguing this is OK.

[Anonymous]

If asked, a reputable club coach will be honest about their players strengths and weaknesses. If they aren’t honest, college coaches won’t trust them moving forward and it will potentially hurt future recruits and their club overall.

If two players are interested in the same school the club coach should be willing to talk about both. Doesn’t matter who found the school first. The club coach shouldn’t bash one player to help the other, but should be honest about both players.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So not necessarily attacking/speaking poorly of your DD, but more stealing her connections/benefiting from efforts.

Club coaches should know better. The problem is the club coach, not necessarily the other players.

I understand player 1 may have started the connection with the college of interest, but doesn't the club coach have an obligation to all players? Are they supposed to say sorry, player 2, I can't talk to the college about you because player 1 was interested first? So long as the club coach isn't trying to push one player at the expense of the other I don't see what the problem is.

Therein lies the problem, esp. when the one being pushed is a relative, best friend's kid, etc.

This. There is something wrong with player 1 asking for coach support when she has been in communication with a college coach and then club coach pushes another player instead to the same college coach during a phone call meant to support player 1. Why is it so difficult for the PP to understand that?

The original poster to bring up keeping your recruiting info private pointed to teammates being the issue. And now a few people are saying the club coach is the issue. Which is it? What do teammates/their parents do?

Why are you assuming the coach is just pushing player 2 and disregarding player 1? Maybe the college asked about player 2? The coach has an obligation to both players. There is no calling dibs on a college.

You act like a coach can’t have a conversation with a college about multiple players. The issue is a coach failing to support both players. I don’t see anyone arguing this is OK.

I was not the OP on this issue but I got the impression that OP’s DD cultivated a relationship with a particular college coach that was then thrown to the wind because another player’s family cozied up to the club coach and asked them to call in some favors to said college coach. I am sure there is more to the story but I have 2 now grown DDs who played field hockey for many years and I have seen parent-club coach relationships trump skill and ability over and over again. And no, my DDs were not directly affected by this behavior since ultimately neither decided to play in college but saw enough of it with other players in their clubs. They both played for different, well known clubs in this area so it is not limited just one coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So not necessarily attacking/speaking poorly of your DD, but more stealing her connections/benefiting from efforts.

Club coaches should know better. The problem is the club coach, not necessarily the other players.

I understand player 1 may have started the connection with the college of interest, but doesn't the club coach have an obligation to all players? Are they supposed to say sorry, player 2, I can't talk to the college about you because player 1 was interested first? So long as the club coach isn't trying to push one player at the expense of the other I don't see what the problem is.

Therein lies the problem, esp. when the one being pushed is a relative, best friend's kid, etc.

This. There is something wrong with player 1 asking for coach support when she has been in communication with a college coach and then club coach pushes another player instead to the same college coach during a phone call meant to support player 1. Why is it so difficult for the PP to understand that?

The original poster to bring up keeping your recruiting info private pointed to teammates being the issue. And now a few people are saying the club coach is the issue. Which is it? What do teammates/their parents do?

Why are you assuming the coach is just pushing player 2 and disregarding player 1? Maybe the college asked about player 2? The coach has an obligation to both players. There is no calling dibs on a college.

You act like a coach can’t have a conversation with a college about multiple players. The issue is a coach failing to support both players. I don’t see anyone arguing this is OK.

I was not the OP on this issue but I got the impression that OP’s DD cultivated a relationship with a particular college coach that was then thrown to the wind because another player’s family cozied up to the club coach and asked them to call in some favors to said college coach. I am sure there is more to the story but I have 2 now grown DDs who played field hockey for many years and I have seen parent-club coach relationships trump skill and ability over and over again. And no, my DDs were not directly affected by this behavior since ultimately neither decided to play in college but saw enough of it with other players in their clubs. They both played for different, well known clubs in this area so it is not limited just one coach.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So not necessarily attacking/speaking poorly of your DD, but more stealing her connections/benefiting from efforts.

Club coaches should know better. The problem is the club coach, not necessarily the other players.

I understand player 1 may have started the connection with the college of interest, but doesn't the club coach have an obligation to all players? Are they supposed to say sorry, player 2, I can't talk to the college about you because player 1 was interested first? So long as the club coach isn't trying to push one player at the expense of the other I don't see what the problem is.

Therein lies the problem, esp. when the one being pushed is a relative, best friend's kid, etc.

This. There is something wrong with player 1 asking for coach support when she has been in communication with a college coach and then club coach pushes another player instead to the same college coach during a phone call meant to support player 1. Why is it so difficult for the PP to understand that?

The original poster to bring up keeping your recruiting info private pointed to teammates being the issue. And now a few people are saying the club coach is the issue. Which is it? What do teammates/their parents do?

Why are you assuming the coach is just pushing player 2 and disregarding player 1? Maybe the college asked about player 2? The coach has an obligation to both players. There is no calling dibs on a college.

You act like a coach can’t have a conversation with a college about multiple players. The issue is a coach failing to support both players. I don’t see anyone arguing this is OK.

This thread is full of anecdotes -which at that point, are they anecdotes?- of certain club coaches pushing one player. Sometime to the detriment of another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So not necessarily attacking/speaking poorly of your DD, but more stealing her connections/benefiting from efforts.

Club coaches should know better. The problem is the club coach, not necessarily the other players.

I understand player 1 may have started the connection with the college of interest, but doesn't the club coach have an obligation to all players? Are they supposed to say sorry, player 2, I can't talk to the college about you because player 1 was interested first? So long as the club coach isn't trying to push one player at the expense of the other I don't see what the problem is.

Therein lies the problem, esp. when the one being pushed is a relative, best friend's kid, etc.

This. There is something wrong with player 1 asking for coach support when she has been in communication with a college coach and then club coach pushes another player instead to the same college coach during a phone call meant to support player 1. Why is it so difficult for the PP to understand that?

The original poster to bring up keeping your recruiting info private pointed to teammates being the issue. And now a few people are saying the club coach is the issue. Which is it? What do teammates/their parents do?

Why are you assuming the coach is just pushing player 2 and disregarding player 1? Maybe the college asked about player 2? The coach has an obligation to both players. There is no calling dibs on a college.

You act like a coach can’t have a conversation with a college about multiple players. The issue is a coach failing to support both players. I don’t see anyone arguing this is OK.

I was not the OP on this issue but I got the impression that OP’s DD cultivated a relationship with a particular college coach that was then thrown to the wind because another player’s family cozied up to the club coach and asked them to call in some favors to said college coach. I am sure there is more to the story but I have 2 now grown DDs who played field hockey for many years and I have seen parent-club coach relationships trump skill and ability over and over again. And no, my DDs were not directly affected by this behavior since ultimately neither decided to play in college but saw enough of it with other players in their clubs. They both played for different, well known clubs in this area so it is not limited just one coach.

^^^ This is so so true - sad but true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So not necessarily attacking/speaking poorly of your DD, but more stealing her connections/benefiting from efforts.

Club coaches should know better. The problem is the club coach, not necessarily the other players.

I understand player 1 may have started the connection with the college of interest, but doesn't the club coach have an obligation to all players? Are they supposed to say sorry, player 2, I can't talk to the college about you because player 1 was interested first? So long as the club coach isn't trying to push one player at the expense of the other I don't see what the problem is.

Therein lies the problem, esp. when the one being pushed is a relative, best friend's kid, etc.

This. There is something wrong with player 1 asking for coach support when she has been in communication with a college coach and then club coach pushes another player instead to the same college coach during a phone call meant to support player 1. Why is it so difficult for the PP to understand that?

The original poster to bring up keeping your recruiting info private pointed to teammates being the issue. And now a few people are saying the club coach is the issue. Which is it? What do teammates/their parents do?

Why are you assuming the coach is just pushing player 2 and disregarding player 1? Maybe the college asked about player 2? The coach has an obligation to both players. There is no calling dibs on a college.

You act like a coach can’t have a conversation with a college about multiple players. The issue is a coach failing to support both players. I don’t see anyone arguing this is OK.

I was not the OP on this issue but I got the impression that OP’s DD cultivated a relationship with a particular college coach that was then thrown to the wind because another player’s family cozied up to the club coach and asked them to call in some favors to said college coach. I am sure there is more to the story but I have 2 now grown DDs who played field hockey for many years and I have seen parent-club coach relationships trump skill and ability over and over again. And no, my DDs were not directly affected by this behavior since ultimately neither decided to play in college but saw enough of it with other players in their clubs. They both played for different, well known clubs in this area so it is not limited just one coach.

^^^ This is so so true - sad but true.

Field hockey is the most political sport I have been exposed to. I’ve heard that LAX might be worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So not necessarily attacking/speaking poorly of your DD, but more stealing her connections/benefiting from efforts.

Club coaches should know better. The problem is the club coach, not necessarily the other players.

I understand player 1 may have started the connection with the college of interest, but doesn't the club coach have an obligation to all players? Are they supposed to say sorry, player 2, I can't talk to the college about you because player 1 was interested first? So long as the club coach isn't trying to push one player at the expense of the other I don't see what the problem is.

Therein lies the problem, esp. when the one being pushed is a relative, best friend's kid, etc.

This. There is something wrong with player 1 asking for coach support when she has been in communication with a college coach and then club coach pushes another player instead to the same college coach during a phone call meant to support player 1. Why is it so difficult for the PP to understand that?

The original poster to bring up keeping your recruiting info private pointed to teammates being the issue. And now a few people are saying the club coach is the issue. Which is it? What do teammates/their parents do?

Why are you assuming the coach is just pushing player 2 and disregarding player 1? Maybe the college asked about player 2? The coach has an obligation to both players. There is no calling dibs on a college.

You act like a coach can’t have a conversation with a college about multiple players. The issue is a coach failing to support both players. I don’t see anyone arguing this is OK.

I was not the OP on this issue but I got the impression that OP’s DD cultivated a relationship with a particular college coach that was then thrown to the wind because another player’s family cozied up to the club coach and asked them to call in some favors to said college coach. I am sure there is more to the story but I have 2 now grown DDs who played field hockey for many years and I have seen parent-club coach relationships trump skill and ability over and over again. And no, my DDs were not directly affected by this behavior since ultimately neither decided to play in college but saw enough of it with other players in their clubs. They both played for different, well known clubs in this area so it is not limited just one coach.

^^^ This is so so true - sad but true.

Field hockey is the most political sport I have been exposed to. I’ve heard that LAX might be worse.

It's honestly shocking how political it is. And highly discouraging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So what? One coach followed up on an email from your player? Then later, discovered a better player? All they care about is getting the best player. I will say this: many coaches do ask about families. It sounds a little bit like if anybody may be sabotaging your player, it could be you. You have to stay out of it. If you really believe another parent can sway coaches, it's clear you are the problem. Be careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ True. Recruitment is cutthroat so keep it close to the vest. The person you may trust the most could be the first to sabotage your DD for their own benefit. Sad but true. It happened to us and it was sad to watch it enfold in front of our eyes.

What did the other people do to sabotage your DD?

Good old fashioned backstabbing and gaslighting DD to club coaches. It’s difficult to figure out what’s going on until it’s too late and the damage is done. Not saying it happens all of the time but there are plenty of instances of this in the DMV. Bait and switch type scenarios with favored players after the connections and leg work have been started by DD with certain college coaches that the club coaches hadn’t previously been exposed to.

So what? One coach followed up on an email from your player? Then later, discovered a better player? All they care about is getting the best player. I will say this: many coaches do ask about families. It sounds a little bit like if anybody may be sabotaging your player, it could be you. You have to stay out of it. If you really believe another parent can sway coaches, it's clear you are the problem. Be careful.

Hahaha. The know-it-alls are back. Keep ‘em coming. We all need a good giggle once in awhile!

[Anonymous]

U19 NIT results are rolling in . . . some of the local clubs haven't fared very well. The usual superstar clubs (WC) are cleaning house again.

[Anonymous]

The real reason to keep recruiting to yourself is to not have to deal with the jealousy IMO. The athletes just get very jealous of each other when only 1 gets a look from a particular school multiple athletes were interested in.

It can ruin relationships and cause conspiracy theories to run wild.