Would you send a letter to your Middle School bully?

[Anonymous]

In middle school I was severely bullied. Physically and emotionally. Would you now, some 30 years later send a letter to your erstwhile bully telling them of your successes and saying what a loser they were and are, or would you just let it be?

[Anonymous]

Let it be.

[Anonymous]

No. Just forget them and move on.

[Anonymous]

I'd make them a hobby.

I'd F' with them in ways they'd never understand why it was happening. Maybe make a book out of it after a decade of it.

[Anonymous]

No move on. He/she probably doesn't remember you.

[Anonymous]

Of course not.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you had to experience that, but I don't think sending the letter would be a good idea.
Write the letter and burn it or tell your theapist
Don't send it to them.
Writing to tell them they are a loser wouldn't make you better than them, in fact it makes you worse because you are an adult now.

As an adult I'm sure you realize that a large number of bullies are abused at home so what you dealt with they dealt with tenfold at home.

Instead of looking back, enjoy the happy life you have now, and be a positive force maybe start volunteering with a mentoring program to help bullies and bullied children.

[Anonymous]

You should seek help.

[Anonymous]

I'd send a letter to a therapist first. Obviously you carry real scars due to this jerks behavior but he/she may not remember you. You need to find a way to let it go. 30 years is a long time to let something eat at you. I remember being bullied in elementary school due to me having a disability. The bully didn't realize that I had three older brothers who beat on me...as brothers do....so I knew how to fight. I beat the crap out of him.

[Anonymous]

No. I was bullied in middle school but don't really think about it now. I'm 43, FWIW.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would not just because I don't think it will have the cathartic effect you are hoping for. What the bully did has always been wrong regardless of your current successes. You should feel proud that you have thrived in spite of what you went through, but it has nothing to do with the bully. They are insignificant. As someone else pointed out their treatment of you probably had little to do with you and a lot to do with whatever abuse/challenges they were facing. Maybe they have become a better person or maybe they haven't, but contacting them gives them an importance I don't think they deserve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No move on. He/she probably doesn't remember you.

This. If this has really been bothering you all these years I encourage you to seek therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should seek help.

It's true. Thankfully, you are not being bullied now - but it has obviously affected you deeply. Perhaps therapy will help you get over it.

[Anonymous]

Write the letter to yourself! You should be proud of what you have overcome. Bullying more than sucks and the scars a real. I agree with the suggestion to involve a therapist, too, to help you release yourself from the pain you felt. You survived and you can give yourself closure by finding a way to let this go.