You bet your &ss I'm angry

[Anonymous]

I worked 40 hours a week for 30 years, did the lion's share of housework, entertaining, child care and 100 percent paying bills. I've stayed married to a man who hasn't touched me in years. (yes, I've gained weight).
I know he pays for BJs and now he's planning a month long trip to the NW with his best bud but makes cracks about my desire to go on a nice tour of Europe.
I'd leave him except I've seen what happens to fifty something women who are on their own, totally ostracized from their former social lives, pathetically dependent on adult children and other lonely divorcees, unwelcome at churches.
Sorry for the rant, but men want everything these days: housekeeper, breadwinner, office manager, social secretary and whore.
F that!
flame away.

[Anonymous]

If you have a good job I don't see why you don't leave. Go to Europe by yourself when he's in the NW.

[Anonymous]

pack his shit and change the locks

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, Op! You can have a nice life without your husband. At least you can support yourself. There are loads of women who are single, work and have friends and they are older than 50.

Good luck, op. Think about it wouldn't it better to be happy and alone rather than with this guy and miserable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked 40 hours a week for 30 years, did the lion's share of housework, entertaining, child care and 100 percent paying bills. I've stayed married to a man who hasn't touched me in years. (yes, I've gained weight).
I know he pays for BJs and now he's planning a month long trip to the NW with his best bud but makes cracks about my desire to go on a nice tour of Europe.
I'd leave him except I've seen what happens to fifty something women who are on their own, totally ostracized from their former social lives, pathetically dependent on adult children and other lonely divorcees, unwelcome at churches.
Sorry for the rant, but men want everything these days: housekeeper, breadwinner, office manager, social secretary and whore.
F that!
flame away.

You may be too late becasue you waited 30 years to act. Leave him, if your church doesn't want you because of divorce you need to find a new church.

[Anonymous]

Dump him. You are self sufficient. Get a life.

[Anonymous]

Dump that loser and enjoy the rest of your life without his deadweight. Seriously hon.

[Anonymous]

If your church is unwelcoming to divorcees, it is time to find another denomination. Seriously.

You are better off alone. You don't need all the friends you ever had/couple friends, just a few GOOD friends. You can make more as you get out there and pursue your interests.

Take good care of yourself, no matter what you end up doing. Go to Europe without him, whether or not you stay with him.

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Wow, seems strange to me that you don't see how much better your life would be without him. When you are single you can do whatever you want, go wherever you want, eat whatever you want, say whatever you want, etc. you get the idea. It's the perfect life if you ask me, maybe with a bit of a sigh for the lack of sex, but it doesn't sound to me like that's a great part of your life now.

I think you are more worried about what people would think, f that, go for it.

[Anonymous]

My brother dated a woman for 10 years. They seemed relatively happy. He up and left her one day for the parent of his kid's best friend. She was 55 or so. She was miserable at first, but then SO HAPPY. Leaving his mental self behind was the best thing she has ever done.

It's better to be happily single than miserably attached. Always.

[Anonymous]

Half of the choir at my church is divorcees over 50. If your church isn't accepting, find a new church.

Also, my grandma found 2 different long term, loving relationships after her husband passed away when she was 45 (first one passed away after they had been together 20 years, second one was with her until she passed). Stop wasting your time with a husband who doesn't make you happy, and go make a life for yourself that does (whether or not that involves being with another man).

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the encouragement. Seriously thinking of leaving. I'd love to leave the burbs, live downtown, take in culture and travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the encouragement. Seriously thinking of leaving. I'd love to leave the burbs, live downtown, take in culture and travel.

Girl - do it!!! You have plenty of life left. Even if you don't meet someone new - you can make new friends and just be happy. God, I love my husband but the thought of being solo sound lovely

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I know he pays for BJs

Really curious how you know this?

But seriously, leave him. No way that you should tolerate that! Travel without him. And you'll probably find that you lose weight when you lose all that excess baggage too!

[Anonymous]

Whoa! Don't leave him - you are right that life for a divorced 50 year old woman can be precarious. But you need to start putting yourself first by a long mile. You want to go to Europe? Go. Make yourself a list of all the things you want out of life and then get them while at the same time using the support and income that a marriage provides.