You bet your &ss I'm angry

[Anonymous]

Get on facebook and join the group solo women travelers. I think it's now closed and you have to be invited so if you need an invite, let me know. There are also other solo travel groups. Get your butt to Europe and have a fantastic time! Think about what you want from life while you're there and then get back and MAKE IT HAPPEN. This is your life. You get ONE shot at being happy. If your douchebag husband isn't interested in making a happy life with you, and isn't interested in starting over with you and working things out, then ditch him and make your life what you want. Seriously. You've got this.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to leave him, and you shouldn't if it will compromise your financial status. It's rough enough aging, without having to deal with extra expenses alone.

What you can do is exactly what he's doing--get on with your life. Travel on your own or with a friend. Get out there and enjoy. If he doesn't like it, that's his problem. Have your own room in your house. Live as housemates. Enjoy the company of whoever you like. If he's going to be away traveling with a friend for a month, you can go to Europe.

[Anonymous]

When my husband retires I'm leaving him. And taking half of everything.

[Anonymous]

What's to stop you from starting a new social life now, something that you can take with you when you leave that doesn't involve him?

[Anonymous]

Why can't you go to Europe? He's not your jailer and you don't need his permission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked 40 hours a week for 30 years, did the lion's share of housework, entertaining, child care and 100 percent paying bills. I've stayed married to a man who hasn't touched me in years. (yes, I've gained weight).
I know he pays for BJs and now he's planning a month long trip to the NW with his best bud but makes cracks about my desire to go on a nice tour of Europe.
I'd leave him except I've seen what happens to fifty something women who are on their own, totally ostracized from their former social lives, pathetically dependent on adult children and other lonely divorcees, unwelcome at churches.
Sorry for the rant, but men want everything these days: housekeeper, breadwinner, office manager, social secretary and whore.
F that!
flame away.

You may be too late becasue you waited 30 years to act. Leave him, if your church doesn't want you because of divorce you need to find a new church.

X100!

[Anonymous]

If you aren't sure about leaving him or divorcing, just start living your own life while married. Stop catering to him and his expectations of you. Go travel, get out there and live your life, don't be home to make dinner every night, do your own thing. Be your own woman. Do that for 6+ months, then reevaluate where your relationship is at.

[Anonymous]

I'd leave him except I've seen what happens to fifty something women who are on their own, totally ostracized from their former social lives, pathetically dependent on adult children and other lonely divorcees, unwelcome at churches.

OP - what you said is true, but at least I am not hiding my misery behind the facade of a happy marriage, sometimes its the price of freedom, and honey its well worth it!

[Anonymous]

Dump his ass, lose the weight and get some hobbies. I know many, many single women who aren't lonely and dependent on their children. My grandma was widowed at 50 and is the most independent woman ever. She's had many offers of marriage, but has said she doesn't want that ever again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to leave him, and you shouldn't if it will compromise your financial status. It's rough enough aging, without having to deal with extra expenses alone.

What you can do is exactly what he's doing--get on with your life. Travel on your own or with a friend. Get out there and enjoy. If he doesn't like it, that's his problem. Have your own room in your house. Live as housemates. Enjoy the company of whoever you like. If he's going to be away traveling with a friend for a month, you can go to Europe.

This this this!!!! Grab a credit card and plan that trip TODAY!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoa! Don't leave him - you are right that life for a divorced 50 year old woman can be precarious. But you need to start putting yourself first by a long mile. You want to go to Europe? Go. Make yourself a list of all the things you want out of life and then get them while at the same time using the support and income that a marriage provides.

Any details on how this actually translates to real life? A book or something?

Signed,

Miserable but really don't want to divorce

[Anonymous]

Seriously? Your children are grown, right? Leave the &ss and go on a nice tour of Europe. You don't need his permission. If he is gone when you get back, so much the better.

[Anonymous]

I know two women who divorced after 30 years of marriage. Holy shit they are happy. Basically they forgot what it's like to be free and not an indentured servant. Go to Europe while he is on vacation and figure out what YOU want.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I wanted to add that neither of these women ever wants to remarry or even date at this point. They are over that shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the encouragement. Seriously thinking of leaving. I'd love to leave the burbs, live downtown, take in culture and travel.

Girl - do it!!! You have plenty of life left. Even if you don't meet someone new - you can make new friends and just be happy. God, I love my husband but the thought of being solo sound lovely

Yes, Lord! Do it and see what happens. It could be the beginning of something wonderful!