You bet your &ss I'm angry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoa! Don't leave him - you are right that life for a divorced 50 year old woman can be precarious. But you need to start putting yourself first by a long mile. You want to go to Europe? Go. Make yourself a list of all the things you want out of life and then get them while at the same time using the support and income that a marriage provides.

Any details on how this actually translates to real life? A book or something?

Signed,

Miserable but really don't want to divorce

Start with any good book on copendency.

[Anonymous]

*codependency

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoa! Don't leave him - you are right that life for a divorced 50 year old woman can be precarious. But you need to start putting yourself first by a long mile. You want to go to Europe? Go. Make yourself a list of all the things you want out of life and then get them while at the same time using the support and income that a marriage provides.

Any details on how this actually translates to real life? A book or something?

Signed,

Miserable but really don't want to divorce

Do the 180.

https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/healing_library/confrontation/understanding-the-180.asp

[Anonymous]

U had me at blowjobs. Explain again how leaving him would not be win-win?

[Anonymous]

You said you pay 100% of the bills. Does he not work? For 30 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked 40 hours a week for 30 years, did the lion's share of housework, entertaining, child care and 100 percent paying bills. I've stayed married to a man who hasn't touched me in years. (yes, I've gained weight).
I know he pays for BJs and now he's planning a month long trip to the NW with his best bud but makes cracks about my desire to go on a nice tour of Europe.
I'd leave him except I've seen what happens to fifty something women who are on their own, totally ostracized from their former social lives, pathetically dependent on adult children and other lonely divorcees, unwelcome at churches.
Sorry for the rant, but men want everything these days: housekeeper, breadwinner, office manager, social secretary and whore.
F that!
flame away.

What the heck. He pays for BJ's???? You mean he frequents hookers? That alone and that's not even getting into everything else - I'd leave asap. I know many 40-60 year old women that are very happy. They travel, have p/t jobs and don't look to a man to make them happy. OP you're married to a CREEPER.

Get some new friends, hobbies, or whatever it is that is missing. Start socking money away and plan your escape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:U had me at blowjobs. Explain again how leaving him would not be win-win?

+1 +1 +1

[Anonymous]

I think if you are that unhappy you should take control of your life and leave him. Life is short, make the best of it. You have no idea what is around the next corner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked 40 hours a week for 30 years, did the lion's share of housework, entertaining, child care and 100 percent paying bills. I've stayed married to a man who hasn't touched me in years. (yes, I've gained weight).
I know he pays for BJs and now he's planning a month long trip to the NW with his best bud but makes cracks about my desire to go on a nice tour of Europe.
I'd leave him except I've seen what happens to fifty something women who are on their own, totally ostracized from their former social lives, pathetically dependent on adult children and other lonely divorcees, unwelcome at churches.
Sorry for the rant, but men want everything these days: housekeeper, breadwinner, office manager, social secretary and whore.
F that!
flame away.

OP, my life is basically what you describe. I am *still* glad I dumped my cheater.

[Anonymous]

Why are women so angry that men get blowjobs? It seems unhinged .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are women so angry that men get blowjobs? It seems unhinged .

No woman wants to do this for a man who doesn't show affection or who doesn't want to reciprocate. It's cheating, but I think many of us are realistic about the fact that it happens. Just don't expect BJs from your wife or GF if you're a jerk. I'd rather you pay a sex worker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are women so angry that men get blowjobs? It seems unhinged .

No woman wants to do this for a man who doesn't show affection or who doesn't want to reciprocate. It's cheating, but I think many of us are realistic about the fact that it happens. Just don't expect BJs from your wife or GF if you're a jerk. I'd rather you pay a sex worker.

That and most women I've ever talked to don't want to do them. Grosses them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd leave him except I've seen what happens to fifty something women who are on their own, totally ostracized from their former social lives, pathetically dependent on adult children and other lonely divorcees, unwelcome at churches.

OP - what you said is true, but at least I am not hiding my misery behind the facade of a happy marriage, sometimes its the price of freedom, and honey its well worth it!

My good friend got divorced at 50 and she still finds plenty to do. She even went to Europe with a friend. She is so much happier. Oh and F that church if divorced women aren't welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:U had me at blowjobs. Explain again how leaving him would not be win-win?

+1

50 is the new 30. I'm always perplexed when my gorgeous successful friends tell me about their loser spouse who flipped the script after 20+ years of marriage. Do the 180. Get an attorney. Get your groove back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoa! Don't leave him - you are right that life for a divorced 50 year old woman can be precarious. But you need to start putting yourself first by a long mile. You want to go to Europe? Go. Make yourself a list of all the things you want out of life and then get them while at the same time using the support and income that a marriage provides.

+1. Stop doing the things you don't want to do and start doing the things you do!