Does reading DCUM affect how you look at your relationship with your DH/DW?

[Anonymous]

I am amazed at how negative DCUM topics are, do the various relationship topics affect how you look at your marriage/relationship?

There are so many discussions on affairs, with many posts making affairs seem normal. There are so many self righteous posters that feel that if you don't have the same beliefs they do that you are immoral. So many posts with people complaining about their spouses some valid (based on the one-sided story presented) others petty, does it make you feel better or worse about your spouse?

I have felt that my anger at my DH is justified at times because others are angry for the same reason, but then I remember that he does a lot of things I like as well, but I have to admit those are not the thoughts I have while reading DCUM. It also make me wonder how many of the negative posts about DWs he would feel reflect how he feels about me and I hope that he feels that he is with me because he loves me and not because he feels trapped like so many posters on DCUM.

It does make me feel better that he and I have stayed faithful to one another, and I am happy to be with him and I value our relationship, particularly when I think about the crappy relationships people post about on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Confirmation bias. The vast majority of posts are about problems. The happy fulfilled couples don't have any reason to start threads. Mostly.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it makes me take the possibility that we could drift apart and end up divorced much more seriously. Since I started visiting this site, I've tried to put more effort into staying engaged with DH and having periodic conversations with him about the state/health of our marriage.

[Anonymous]

Posts about perfect marriages would be boring to read about all the time.

Just like a reality show where everyone got along perfectly and never fought.

[Anonymous]

Actually, yes. Some of the people who post here seem insane. Selfish, entitled, bitchy, childish, negative. It makes me feel -- even with my considerable flaws -- like I'm an incredible spouse.

[Anonymous]

No, it doesn't.

DCUM it an outlier to me. I read a few other relationship forums, but this one is unlike the rest. On others people post their problems- and they're often quite serious problems, kore severe than what gets posted on DCUM- but it's just different.

The responses are more thoughtful and higher quality on other forums. Even the deadbedroom subforum I read on another site is radically different in tone than the DB posters here- less whiny, more sympathetic, you can see why people would actually *want* to sleep with them.

I've found that on this site, the women tend to respond that all men are terrible and the men tend to respond that all women need to lose weight, put out more, and most hilariously, have a thigh gap. It's all just very bitter and not constructive. I guess the easy anonymity contributes to this.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it makes me appreciate my DH more.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Some posts make me feel incredibly grateful for my husband. Other posts, I must admit, make me envious. I try to focus on the gratitude.

[Anonymous]

Depends how long it's been since I've had sex with my DW. Less than a week & the DCUM stories are abstract amusements that bear no relationship to my happy marriage.

More than two weeks & they are irrefutable proof that marriage is a failed institution.

[Anonymous]

It's helped my relationship actually. I let more stuff role off my back. Sometimes when you make a post to vent, and people slam you for being a drama queen or whatever..they're right. I know some people say DCUM "is mean" but a lot of it is truth that some of us need to hear.

Also, some of the relationship advice has helped me tremendously. See the letting go thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's helped my relationship actually. I let more stuff role off my back. Sometimes when you make a post to vent, and people slam you for being a drama queen or whatever..they're right. I know some people say DCUM "is mean" but a lot of it is truth that some of us need to hear.

Also, some of the relationship advice has helped me tremendously. See the letting go thread.

haha *roll

[Anonymous]

DW here - makes me initiate sex more often!

[Anonymous]

Makes me feel great about my marriage!

[Anonymous]

No, but misery loves company.

[Anonymous]

I read aloud some of the dumbass threads and it makes him laugh. Does that count?