Is getting married an achievement?

[Anonymous]

Explain to me like I am five because I seem a bit behind here. I notice girls in the 25 -32 age group get so wound up about getting engaged. When they get engaged, my social media is flooded with gleeful posts and photos with "I'M ENAGGED!" Those who aren't engaged yet feel really sad and left behind etc.

[Anonymous]

I don't think getting engaged and married is an achievement, but staying married? is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Explain to me like I am five because I seem a bit behind here. I notice girls in the 25 -32 age group get so wound up about getting engaged. When they get engaged, my social media is flooded with gleeful posts and photos with "I'M ENAGGED!" Those who aren't engaged yet feel really sad and left behind etc.

I view is as getting married is like going to college after H.S. , a stage of like. But some can view as an achievement I suppose!

[Anonymous]

No, but neither is having babies, but society treats it like it is. I generally stopped congratulating people on facebook for both (I'm married btw).

[Anonymous]

I do see it as an achievement. So is staying married. Finding a life partner is a really big deal.

Single people shouldn't feel left out though.

[Anonymous]

This obsession with getting engaged, engagement photos, wedding hoopla is crazy.

Even worse is the baby obsession after! Baby bump pics. Updates. Baby pictures doing the most mundane things.

And these women are soo....smug. Like they have arrived.

Sorry, as an engaged but not yet married woman, I find the social media wedding/marriage/baby cycle so annoying.

[Anonymous]

Of course it's an achievement, in that it's a huge life event - one that is unquestionably worthy of celebration by the couple and the people that love them. If you don't share in your joy then you clearly don't fall into that category.

[Anonymous]

^^ share in their joy, that is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do see it as an achievement. So is staying married. Finding a life partner is a really big deal.

Single people shouldn't feel left out though.

I fully agree. Other people getting married isn't an attack on you; it's something wonderful for them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This obsession with getting engaged, engagement photos, wedding hoopla is crazy.

Even worse is the baby obsession after! Baby bump pics. Updates. Baby pictures doing the most mundane things.

And these women are soo....smug. Like they have arrived.

Sorry, as an engaged but not yet married woman, I find the social media wedding/marriage/baby cycle so annoying.

I agree (as a married woman with a new baby, at that). I think the focus on "gotta get engaged, gotta get married, gotta have a baby" also pushes people to marry people they shouldn't, to have kids when they shouldn't or with people they shouldn't have kids with, because it's "what you're supposed to do" not because it's the right decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This obsession with getting engaged, engagement photos, wedding hoopla is crazy.

Even worse is the baby obsession after! Baby bump pics. Updates. Baby pictures doing the most mundane things.

And these women are soo....smug. Like they have arrived.

Sorry, as an engaged but not yet married woman, I find the social media wedding/marriage/baby cycle so annoying.

I agree (as a married woman with a new baby, at that). I think the focus on "gotta get engaged, gotta get married, gotta have a baby" also pushes people to marry people they shouldn't, to have kids when they shouldn't or with people they shouldn't have kids with, because it's "what you're supposed to do" not because it's the right decision.

I truly don't mean this snarkily, this is my honest takeaway. But I think some of you might be spending too much time on social media if you're allowing it to influence your life that much. I definitely roll my eyes at the occasional trying too hard posts...but then you just scroll past and move on. It's weird that you're thinking about it this much

[Anonymous]

I think it is a milestone. I guess if your goal is to be married, then yes, it is an acheivement. But if your goal is to be in a mutually satisfying relationship, then staying married is the acheivement.

I think "getting married" becomes the end goal, sometimes, and the people involved forget that it doesn't end there (I mean, of course they don't actually forget, but they aren't thinking 50 years ahead ... which is kind of normal, maybe).

Having a baby WAS an achievement for us. But the better achievement will be bringing up a healthy, adjusted child.

[Anonymous]

If you think they're smug now wait until the get pregnant, smugness increases 100x at that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This obsession with getting engaged, engagement photos, wedding hoopla is crazy.

Even worse is the baby obsession after! Baby bump pics. Updates. Baby pictures doing the most mundane things.

And these women are soo....smug. Like they have arrived.

Sorry, as an engaged but not yet married woman, I find the social media wedding/marriage/baby cycle so annoying.

I agree (as a married woman with a new baby, at that). I think the focus on "gotta get engaged, gotta get married, gotta have a baby" also pushes people to marry people they shouldn't, to have kids when they shouldn't or with people they shouldn't have kids with, because it's "what you're supposed to do" not because it's the right decision.

Yes and no. Don't marry unless you want to live with the person for the rest of your life, but if you're waiting forever for the One without success, you need to change either your goals or your strategy. I married a not-the-one and after a while that's what she became, to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think they're smug now wait until the get pregnant, smugness increases 100x at that point.

But humans have been reproducing since we have lived in caves. I don't understand the smugness.

And then after that they have a baby and post pictures with details suggesting they are the BEST mom and their baby is the BEST thing ever ever!