MC police pick up ESS 5 year old; harass & assault him

[Anonymous]

I can’t watch the video. It’s too disturbing.

I’m a teacher and I’ve worked in a variety of schools. In lower income schools, the focus is on discipline. The school to prison pipeline is a real thing. Kids are threatened with things like “you wanna go to jail? you better act right then!” It’s gross. Half the kids in my title 1 kindergarten class had an incarcerated parent to begin with. I was told to “yell more” and “stop being so soft”. Kids are instructed to eat lunch in silence. Work in silence. Stop crying. Straighten up. Do as you’re told and don’t ask questions. It was not for me. Those kids needed love and understanding, not more people yelling at them.

On the flip side, in affluent schools, the focus is on communication and learning. It’s a very respectful approach. Kids are encouraged to talk to each other and staff. Lots more emphasis on empathy and validating feelings. Building relationships. Collaborative projects.

The low income schools retain teachers and administrators who appreciate that authoritarian style. Often they’re people who grew up being talked to like that and continue to raise their own families in that same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t watch the video. It’s too disturbing.

I’m a teacher and I’ve worked in a variety of schools. In lower income schools, the focus is on discipline. The school to prison pipeline is a real thing. Kids are threatened with things like “you wanna go to jail? you better act right then!” It’s gross. Half the kids in my title 1 kindergarten class had an incarcerated parent to begin with. I was told to “yell more” and “stop being so soft”. Kids are instructed to eat lunch in silence. Work in silence. Stop crying. Straighten up. Do as you’re told and don’t ask questions. It was not for me. Those kids needed love and understanding, not more people yelling at them.

On the flip side, in affluent schools, the focus is on communication and learning. It’s a very respectful approach. Kids are encouraged to talk to each other and staff. Lots more emphasis on empathy and validating feelings. Building relationships. Collaborative projects.

The low income schools retain teachers and administrators who appreciate that authoritarian style. Often they’re people who grew up being talked to like that and continue to raise their own families in that same way.

This may be true generally but is not a very accurate characterization of ESS. It's not East Side High. It's lowER income relative to MoCo but most of those are immigrants and the vast majority without criminal records. The admin is mostly white and lives upcounty. They use restorative justice and so on-- maybe not effectively but it's the plan. Maybe it's a bit more like you describe than a W feeder school, but not by a huge margin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t watch the video. It’s too disturbing.

I’m a teacher and I’ve worked in a variety of schools. In lower income schools, the focus is on discipline. The school to prison pipeline is a real thing. Kids are threatened with things like “you wanna go to jail? you better act right then!” It’s gross. Half the kids in my title 1 kindergarten class had an incarcerated parent to begin with. I was told to “yell more” and “stop being so soft”. Kids are instructed to eat lunch in silence. Work in silence. Stop crying. Straighten up. Do as you’re told and don’t ask questions. It was not for me. Those kids needed love and understanding, not more people yelling at them.

On the flip side, in affluent schools, the focus is on communication and learning. It’s a very respectful approach. Kids are encouraged to talk to each other and staff. Lots more emphasis on empathy and validating feelings. Building relationships. Collaborative projects.

The low income schools retain teachers and administrators who appreciate that authoritarian style. Often they’re people who grew up being talked to like that and continue to raise their own families in that same way.

This may be true generally but is not a very accurate characterization of ESS. It's not East Side High. It's lowER income relative to MoCo but most of those are immigrants and the vast majority without criminal records. The admin is mostly white and lives upcounty. They use restorative justice and so on-- maybe not effectively but it's the plan. Maybe it's a bit more like you describe than a W feeder school, but not by a huge margin.

except the ESS admins let this happen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t watch the video. It’s too disturbing.

I’m a teacher and I’ve worked in a variety of schools. In lower income schools, the focus is on discipline. The school to prison pipeline is a real thing. Kids are threatened with things like “you wanna go to jail? you better act right then!” It’s gross. Half the kids in my title 1 kindergarten class had an incarcerated parent to begin with. I was told to “yell more” and “stop being so soft”. Kids are instructed to eat lunch in silence. Work in silence. Stop crying. Straighten up. Do as you’re told and don’t ask questions. It was not for me. Those kids needed love and understanding, not more people yelling at them.

On the flip side, in affluent schools, the focus is on communication and learning. It’s a very respectful approach. Kids are encouraged to talk to each other and staff. Lots more emphasis on empathy and validating feelings. Building relationships. Collaborative projects.

The low income schools retain teachers and administrators who appreciate that authoritarian style. Often they’re people who grew up being talked to like that and continue to raise their own families in that same way.

This describes what I observed volunteering in Philadelphia urban poor elementary schools. The African Americans parents also expected much more discipline in school compared to white parents. The idea was that you had to keep kids on the straight path and tolerate nothing that would get them into trouble. A lot of “scared straight” discipline like we see from the officer and the mom in the video. Very different from what is encouraged in MCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t watch the video. It’s too disturbing.

I’m a teacher and I’ve worked in a variety of schools. In lower income schools, the focus is on discipline. The school to prison pipeline is a real thing. Kids are threatened with things like “you wanna go to jail? you better act right then!” It’s gross. Half the kids in my title 1 kindergarten class had an incarcerated parent to begin with. I was told to “yell more” and “stop being so soft”. Kids are instructed to eat lunch in silence. Work in silence. Stop crying. Straighten up. Do as you’re told and don’t ask questions. It was not for me. Those kids needed love and understanding, not more people yelling at them.

On the flip side, in affluent schools, the focus is on communication and learning. It’s a very respectful approach. Kids are encouraged to talk to each other and staff. Lots more emphasis on empathy and validating feelings. Building relationships. Collaborative projects.

The low income schools retain teachers and administrators who appreciate that authoritarian style. Often they’re people who grew up being talked to like that and continue to raise their own families in that same way.

This may be true generally but is not a very accurate characterization of ESS. It's not East Side High. It's lowER income relative to MoCo but most of those are immigrants and the vast majority without criminal records. The admin is mostly white and lives upcounty. They use restorative justice and so on-- maybe not effectively but it's the plan. Maybe it's a bit more like you describe than a W feeder school, but not by a huge margin.

+1 and I would add that the portrait PP is describing was also not true when the principal was a Black woman who had grown up in Baltimore. She emphasized excellence for all kids, but never with a heavy hand or authoritarian approach. Kids at ESS are encouraged to talk to one another, they have circle time just like any other elementary school, and there's no "quiet" lunches, except during covid. My kid was a crier, and the counselor dealt with him gently and with care.

The new administration is white, and middle class, and I do wish MCPS had prioritized having either the principal or assistant principal reflect the linguistic and racial diversity in the school, but nothing that you describe above resembles my experience as a long-time ESS parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t watch the video. It’s too disturbing.

I’m a teacher and I’ve worked in a variety of schools. In lower income schools, the focus is on discipline. The school to prison pipeline is a real thing. Kids are threatened with things like “you wanna go to jail? you better act right then!” It’s gross. Half the kids in my title 1 kindergarten class had an incarcerated parent to begin with. I was told to “yell more” and “stop being so soft”. Kids are instructed to eat lunch in silence. Work in silence. Stop crying. Straighten up. Do as you’re told and don’t ask questions. It was not for me. Those kids needed love and understanding, not more people yelling at them.

On the flip side, in affluent schools, the focus is on communication and learning. It’s a very respectful approach. Kids are encouraged to talk to each other and staff. Lots more emphasis on empathy and validating feelings. Building relationships. Collaborative projects.

The low income schools retain teachers and administrators who appreciate that authoritarian style. Often they’re people who grew up being talked to like that and continue to raise their own families in that same way.

This may be true generally but is not a very accurate characterization of ESS. It's not East Side High. It's lowER income relative to MoCo but most of those are immigrants and the vast majority without criminal records. The admin is mostly white and lives upcounty. They use restorative justice and so on-- maybe not effectively but it's the plan. Maybe it's a bit more like you describe than a W feeder school, but not by a huge margin.

except the ESS admins let this happen

Yes but that's not because the parents in the community want or expect children to be treated that way, as was PP's claim. The administration was overly deferential to the police, absolutely. I expect to see the administration held responsible for allowing this on their watch. But that tells you nothing about the "authoritarian style" of the school. It tells you that white people are overly deferential to law enforcement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having watched the video and sat with it a while, I think I blame the School staff the most. The police officers and mother are winning no prizes here, but the school staff is supposed to be skilled at dealing with children who are at a variety of levels and I see none of that here. They are basically mocking him and his mom, complaining about how tough they have it, and no one is doing anything for the child (except when they got his mom on speaker phone to help calm him—that was a good idea, although then they joined in with the officers mocking the mom for speaking soothingly to him). I have trouble believing the kid was as disruptive as described, mainly because the female showing the video and describing the conduct just seems so utterly unskilled in dealing with challenging kids that I would guess she made whatever emotioanal disregulation he has much worse.
They all nsee a Dan Shapiro/Ross green training or something.

schools are shockingly, shockingly bad at dealing with behavioral issues in ECE. despite the fact that there are very effective approaches.

I sincerely hope this mom gets access to PCIT and the child gets a private placement in a fantastic school.

That would be great but only 1/2 the resolution. Mom also needs to change her behavior.

She sure does. But the MCPS and MCPD employees are being paid to keep that child safe, and they failed horribly. Fire them.

Technically they did keep him safe. MCPS is not allowed to put hands on a child so there is nothing stopping a child from leaving. The staff member followed the child and called the police to return the child. That is the proper procedure. Their behavior in how they approached things and how they talked to the child was extremely inappropriate plus the lack of MCPS staff talking to the child about his behavior but part of that was on mom playing it up for the officers. She could have just thanked them for their help and said thanks for your comments and I will handle it at home. Mom said she was refusing a different school or therapists so there is only so much MCPS can do without mom's consent.

Not technically they didn’t keep him safe. They emotionally abused him and that is not safe.

Emotional abuse isn't considered part of safety. However, his mom is equally if not more emotionally abusive. All these adults, especially Mom who should have shut it down vs. being the mom show, failed him.

Yes it is actually. Cops are not allowed to emotionally abuse people. Cops don’t get a free pass to abuse abused kids. Could you imagine if the family crimes unit treated all their victims this way because “their parents are worse”. You have some serious mental issues if you see the world that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Emotional abuse isn't considered part of safety. However, his mom is equally if not more emotionally abusive. All these adults, especially Mom who should have shut it down vs. being the mom show, failed him.

His mother is not a police officer sworn to serve and protect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t watch the video. It’s too disturbing.

I’m a teacher and I’ve worked in a variety of schools. In lower income schools, the focus is on discipline. The school to prison pipeline is a real thing. Kids are threatened with things like “you wanna go to jail? you better act right then!” It’s gross. Half the kids in my title 1 kindergarten class had an incarcerated parent to begin with. I was told to “yell more” and “stop being so soft”. Kids are instructed to eat lunch in silence. Work in silence. Stop crying. Straighten up. Do as you’re told and don’t ask questions. It was not for me. Those kids needed love and understanding, not more people yelling at them.

On the flip side, in affluent schools, the focus is on communication and learning. It’s a very respectful approach. Kids are encouraged to talk to each other and staff. Lots more emphasis on empathy and validating feelings. Building relationships. Collaborative projects.

The low income schools retain teachers and administrators who appreciate that authoritarian style. Often they’re people who grew up being talked to like that and continue to raise their own families in that same way.

Wow. This is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t watch the video. It’s too disturbing.

I’m a teacher and I’ve worked in a variety of schools. In lower income schools, the focus is on discipline. The school to prison pipeline is a real thing. Kids are threatened with things like “you wanna go to jail? you better act right then!” It’s gross. Half the kids in my title 1 kindergarten class had an incarcerated parent to begin with. I was told to “yell more” and “stop being so soft”. Kids are instructed to eat lunch in silence. Work in silence. Stop crying. Straighten up. Do as you’re told and don’t ask questions. It was not for me. Those kids needed love and understanding, not more people yelling at them.

On the flip side, in affluent schools, the focus is on communication and learning. It’s a very respectful approach. Kids are encouraged to talk to each other and staff. Lots more emphasis on empathy and validating feelings. Building relationships. Collaborative projects.

The low income schools retain teachers and administrators who appreciate that authoritarian style. Often they’re people who grew up being talked to like that and continue to raise their own families in that same way.

This may be true generally but is not a very accurate characterization of ESS. It's not East Side High. It's lowER income relative to MoCo but most of those are immigrants and the vast majority without criminal records. The admin is mostly white and lives upcounty. They use restorative justice and so on-- maybe not effectively but it's the plan. Maybe it's a bit more like you describe than a W feeder school, but not by a huge margin.

except the ESS admins let this happen

Yes but that's not because the parents in the community want or expect children to be treated that way, as was PP's claim. The administration was overly deferential to the police, absolutely. I expect to see the administration held responsible for allowing this on their watch. But that tells you nothing about the "authoritarian style" of the school. It tells you that white people are overly deferential to law enforcement.

I am the PP who said it was not East Side High, and yes, this, thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t watch the video. It’s too disturbing.

I’m a teacher and I’ve worked in a variety of schools. In lower income schools, the focus is on discipline. The school to prison pipeline is a real thing. Kids are threatened with things like “you wanna go to jail? you better act right then!” It’s gross. Half the kids in my title 1 kindergarten class had an incarcerated parent to begin with. I was told to “yell more” and “stop being so soft”. Kids are instructed to eat lunch in silence. Work in silence. Stop crying. Straighten up. Do as you’re told and don’t ask questions. It was not for me. Those kids needed love and understanding, not more people yelling at them.

On the flip side, in affluent schools, the focus is on communication and learning. It’s a very respectful approach. Kids are encouraged to talk to each other and staff. Lots more emphasis on empathy and validating feelings. Building relationships. Collaborative projects.

The low income schools retain teachers and administrators who appreciate that authoritarian style. Often they’re people who grew up being talked to like that and continue to raise their own families in that same way.

This may be true generally but is not a very accurate characterization of ESS. It's not East Side High. It's lowER income relative to MoCo but most of those are immigrants and the vast majority without criminal records. The admin is mostly white and lives upcounty. They use restorative justice and so on-- maybe not effectively but it's the plan. Maybe it's a bit more like you describe than a W feeder school, but not by a huge margin.

except the ESS admins let this happen

Once the mom arrived, she was the one in charge of her child. Staff should have handled it before Mom arrived but when Mom arrived she made it the Mom show while no one attended to the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Emotional abuse isn't considered part of safety. However, his mom is equally if not more emotionally abusive. All these adults, especially Mom who should have shut it down vs. being the mom show, failed him.

His mother is not a police officer sworn to serve and protect.

The police officers job was to get the child and bring them back to school and wait to hand them off to the parent. They did that. How they did it was inappropriate but Mom was participating in it and clearly treated her child the same way if not worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Emotional abuse isn't considered part of safety. However, his mom is equally if not more emotionally abusive. All these adults, especially Mom who should have shut it down vs. being the mom show, failed him.

His mother is not a police officer sworn to serve and protect.

The police officers job was to get the child and bring them back to school and wait to hand them off to the parent. They did that. How they did it was inappropriate but Mom was participating in it and clearly treated her child the same way if not worse.

I will never understand the extremely low expectations of police behavior from people who purport to be defending the police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It also seemed to me like the teacher was just setting him up for an ED placement at that point—she says in a low voice a couple of times that the wheels are in motion with a meeting later that week. And the fact that she was recording the child and had it ready to go on her cell phone. Given what happened, I would not be surprised if she decided to call the PD, rather than incentivize the boy to return to school, because she thought it would be a helpful point in getting the kid removed from her class.

Even though I think the police and school staff behaved terribly here, I was also pretty disappointed in Don Lemon’s coverage of it last night, and the Jawanda interview. Lemon clearly had not watched the while video because he made several statements that were inconsistent with the totality of the video. Jawanda also used it to make a point about how authorities often treat black boys as older than they are—I agree with him that’s a real issue but I don’t think that’s what’s going on here. These adults just had no idea how to deal with a child that is emotionally disregulated. Some people just have no concept that not every child reacts well to the authoritarian mode. Clearly race came into play—I don’t think they would have felt empowered to act this way if the kid was white. I think they felt like it was “all in the family” because they were all black so they could get up in the mom’s business. And then the school employees are just trying to get rid of the kid anyway. I agree he seems like a sweet kid who has huge issues with emotional regulation and probably lives in fear of a lot of things. There’s maybe also some undiagnosed LDs that make school really triggering for him, since the mom says he does not have episodes at home, but it may just be sensory stuff. I wonder whether he went to preschool—there are lots of kids who do find at home but whose SNs only come out in a school setting.

Its not that simple and yes, they would treat a white kid that way. This isn't simple sensory stuff and sensory is an OT term not diagnosis that's way over used. This child needs a special placement.

I do not want a child like that in class with my child with SN (self-contained classroom). With that child's extremely violent behavior the only place is the extensions program where they'd be able to restrain him and de-escalate the situation. The mom is at fault for not getting her child the proper help he needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is awful. What in the world were these cops thinking? How is the county council only finding about this because of this lawsuit?

https://bethesdamagazine.com/bethesda-beat/courts/lawsuit-alleges-police-harassed-assaulted-5-year-old-boy/

Cops? Yeah, horrible. What about the MCPS loonies who stood by and watched this happen? Fire them. Now.

Aren't the two cops still employed?

Very difficult to fire them. If the chief recommended it, the could take it to an outside appeal board. And then the final authority rests with that outside appeal board that has a union member on it.

This is what drives me nuts about the council and Elrich. They yell and scream about police reform but they are completely unwilling to touch the union contract. You can't have the union contract as it stands today and actually get anywhere with police reform. The contract protects all the bad cops.