Daughter tanked every midterm -- all As to all Bs (possibly one C)

[Anonymous]

Literally every midterm exam is a C or D. Are we supposed to punish an 18yo? Not accepted anywhere, yet. Mid-year report looks horrible now. Worst report card ever, by far.

[Anonymous]

It's college. The grades don't matter as much as the ultimate degree. Unless she's at risk of failing out, I wouldn't panic.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like op's dd is in high school.

[Anonymous]

Are these AP classes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's college. The grades don't matter as much as the ultimate degree. Unless she's at risk of failing out, I wouldn't panic.

I think OP's kid is a HS senior, not in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like op's dd is in high school.

oops, sorry. The 18 year-old part through me off.

yeah, this is a bigger issue, but I'm not sure punishment can fix you. You've just got to cross you fingers and hope it doesn't affect what she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Literally every midterm exam is a C or D. Are we supposed to punish an 18yo? Not accepted anywhere, yet. Mid-year report looks horrible now. Worst report card ever, by far.

My DS did the same thing. It turns out he has Lyme disease. We started getting angry at him, but a therapist told us to take him to his doctor and have him checked out. No child goes from an A student to a C student in one semester, as our DS did. They ran a lot of tests, and found Lyme. He's being treated now, but since we don't know when it started, this could be a difficult climb upwards. He's agreed to take a gap semester or year while being treated.

The therapist said trauma can cause this type of grade drop, so take your DD to see someone so you can sort it out. I initially thought DS was going through senioritis, but I was wrong.

[Anonymous]

She's the one in control, now. She can decide what her future looks like. Does she want to continue on her senioritis path and just lay low in community college next year? Does she have a personal problem she needs to talk to someone about? This is not a punishment situation. She's too old to be winning privileges for grades. Ask her what she wants. If she doesn't know, suggest she get a job and take a gap year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Literally every midterm exam is a C or D. Are we supposed to punish an 18yo? Not accepted anywhere, yet. Mid-year report looks horrible now. Worst report card ever, by far.

My DS did the same thing. It turns out he has Lyme disease. We started getting angry at him, but a therapist told us to take him to his doctor and have him checked out. No child goes from an A student to a C student in one semester, as our DS did. They ran a lot of tests, and found Lyme. He's being treated now, but since we don't know when it started, this could be a difficult climb upwards. He's agreed to take a gap semester or year while being treated.

The therapist said trauma can cause this type of grade drop, so take your DD to see someone so you can sort it out. I initially thought DS was going through senioritis, but I was wrong.

+1. Something else is probably going on. I'm reminded of a poster from last year whose daughter did the same thing. Turns out she was hiding the fact that she had been raped. Hopefully it's not something that dramatic.

[Anonymous]

It's not Lyme disease, she's been checking out, i.e. senior-itis, and it's been a constant source of drama in the house. I never trust the grades prior to exams because teachers tend to inflate them with 100%-score busy work and easy projects.

Note, I think senior-itis is fine, within reason, for kids that have college plans solidified. She doesn't and probably just closed a lot of doors.

[Anonymous]

I don't think a punishment from you is in order, OP. Sadly, she might realize one day that she just closed herself a lot of doors. So, no need to pile on. No need to offer a stupendous graduation gift either.

[Anonymous]

Is her course load this year heavier than what she is used to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are these AP classes?

Two or three. No job. No sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not Lyme disease, she's been checking out, i.e. senior-itis, and it's been a constant source of drama in the house. I never trust the grades prior to exams because teachers tend to inflate them with 100%-score busy work and easy projects.

Note, I think senior-itis is fine, within reason, for kids that have college plans solidified. She doesn't and probably just closed a lot of doors.

I'd calm down, OP. Getting upset or punishing her isn't going to do anything. My older DD had a period of senioritis when she'd been accepted to colleges, and decided she didn't want to do any work. But it was SECOND semester of senior year, not first. We had a little chat with her, and she pulled herself together.

You may need a family counselor to sort things out. If you are pressuring her too much, there may be deeper issues you all need to sort out. Kids don't always want the same things their parents want for them, and they don't realize how much harm they are doing to themselves when they stop studying. There's still time to apply to more colleges. We just got an email from Gettysburg college that they are extending their application deadline. If she's aiming for top schools, she's probably screwed herself, but so what? There are lots of great schools that will accept her now, even if they dont' have top "names". Look around and let go of your expectations for your daughter. She can be a star at a less competitive school, then, if she wants HYPS, she can work hard and transfer into one of the really top ones. Give her that choice.

[Anonymous]

Seriously. You have an 18 year old months away from finishing high school. What do you think you can reasonably do? She will probably make some wrong choices.

But this isn't catastrophic. She can go to a two-year to get her average up and then transfer.

This is her ship to sink at this point.