Parent's Pervy Friend

[Anonymous]

Every year my inlaws have a Christmas party and this pervy friend is there. He is 65 and spends the entire party trying to hug all the women under 40, staring at our breasts and trying to talk to us. It's not as blatant as it sounds, but nearly every female family member I have comments on it. I've been attending these parties for a decade with him, but it really bothers me the older I get. I didn't realize why I was so anxious before this party until he showed up. When he hugged me, his hand passed across my waist and butt. I avoid him, try not to talk to him and ignore him. But then I'm bothered by seeing my younger cousins getting cornered by him trying to talk to them.

I've never had someone stare at my chest so blatantly during an entire conversation, but I don't know what to say. It's Christmas and I don't want to argue with him. His daughter and wife are there also. And when he touches my waist or butt, it's a sneak-touch. It's not so obvious that he couldn't say it was an accident. But it's not because it happens every year and I see him do it to other women.

I'm so pissed he's invited. I'm pissed his wife doesn't stop it either. DH sees it happen too. It's like he's our friendly neighborhood perv that everyone laughs off. Except that it makes for a shitty Christmas for me and my SIL.

[Anonymous]

I would call him out on it.

[Anonymous]

Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would call him out on it.

Agreed. Call him out on it. This will be a good example for the younger women. And don't hug him or let him touch you.

[Anonymous]

Next time carry one of these around with you:



He'll fall into line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call him out on it.

Agreed. Call him out on it. This will be a good example for the younger women. And don't hug him or let him touch you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Have DH call him out on it too

[Anonymous]

For once someone should say loudly QUIT TOUCHING ME. Bet he'd quit then.

We had a pedo uncle everyone knew was a disgusting asshole. No one said anything. Then he touched my breast and I slapped him. It stopped that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For once someone should say loudly QUIT TOUCHING ME. Bet he'd quit then.

We had a pedo uncle everyone knew was a disgusting asshole. No one said anything. Then he touched my breast and I slapped him. It stopped that day.

I love you PP. HERO alert

[Anonymous]

Call him out on it, have DH call him out on it, and rally the female cousins to all pull each other away. "Stacey! You're here - I need to show you something!" and then Stacey says "Excuse me Phil, apparently I'm needed urgently."

Then they both walk away.

[Anonymous]

"Phil, my face is up here.."
"Phil, I'm not sure why you're staring at my wife's chest, but it's wildly offensive. Cut it out. It's inappropriate and you're making everyone uncomfortable."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For once someone should say loudly QUIT TOUCHING ME. Bet he'd quit then.

We had a pedo uncle everyone knew was a disgusting asshole. No one said anything. Then he touched my breast and I slapped him. It stopped that day.

OP here. So when he goes to hug me I scream at him not to touch me? It seems out of place. I do try very, very hard not to be near him so he can't hug me. He caught me unaware this year. This man is so practiced at being a perv it's disgusting.

I spent most of my Christmas wondering if he was a pedophile but he didn't go near my dd.

[Anonymous]

Disagree with the people who suggest that OP's husband should call him out. I agree that it's disrespectful, but having your husband be the one who does the calling out just reinforces the idea that women lack agency, which is something that he apparently already believes.

OP, next time you see him, when he goes to hug you, take a step back and tell him, "When I saw you over Christmas, you touched me in a way that made me uncomfortable. It wasn't the first time, and I'm not the only one who has complained. Please don't touch me again."

What do your parents think? He's THEIR friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disagree with the people who suggest that OP's husband should call him out. I agree that it's disrespectful, but having your husband be the one who does the calling out just reinforces the idea that women lack agency, which is something that he apparently already believes.

OP, next time you see him, when he goes to hug you, take a step back and tell him, "When I saw you over Christmas, you touched me in a way that made me uncomfortable. It wasn't the first time, and I'm not the only one who has complained. Please don't touch me again."

What do your parents think? He's THEIR friend.

My MIL thinks he's a perv too. His wife is more their friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For once someone should say loudly QUIT TOUCHING ME. Bet he'd quit then.

We had a pedo uncle everyone knew was a disgusting asshole. No one said anything. Then he touched my breast and I slapped him. It stopped that day.

OP here. So when he goes to hug me I scream at him not to touch me? It seems out of place. I do try very, very hard not to be near him so he can't hug me. He caught me unaware this year. This man is so practiced at being a perv it's disgusting.

I spent most of my Christmas wondering if he was a pedophile but he didn't go near my dd.

You don't have to scream. Just say very firmly and a little loudly "Don't touch my butt." and walk away.

He's being completely inappropriate and touching you sexually and you are worried about your behavior? Nice girl, please! You have to stand up for yourself.