Parent's Pervy Friend

[Anonymous]

Tell your inlaws to stop inviting him!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disagree with the people who suggest that OP's husband should call him out. I agree that it's disrespectful, but having your husband be the one who does the calling out just reinforces the idea that women lack agency, which is something that he apparently already believes.

OP, next time you see him, when he goes to hug you, take a step back and tell him, "When I saw you over Christmas, you touched me in a way that made me uncomfortable. It wasn't the first time, and I'm not the only one who has complained. Please don't touch me again."

What do your parents think? He's THEIR friend.

I wouldn't even say that much. I would (and have), when he tries to hug you, take a step back, hold out your hand (as if to say stop), and say "That's close enough. Have a good night." And walk away. And keep doing it.

[Anonymous]

Cross your arms and avoid eye contact. Move around the room and position yourself so he can't get close.

[Anonymous]

In this situation, I would feel super stressed and embarrassed, so I wouldn't be able to manage a long sentence.

However, I can see myself saying very loudly: "Stop it already with your perverted touchiness!" Everyone looks at us, everyone is super embarrassed and I walk away in the general shock.

Practice beforehand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.

Who else but another perverted abuser would say this?

He's old, doesn't know any better, just leave it be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just dodge the hug with your hands up and say "No hugs for me." Others will assume that you've been sick but maybe with a pointed glare, he'll see your point.

+1

Put out your hand for a handshake. Don't let him hug you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.

Who else but another perverted abuser would say this?

He's old, doesn't know any better, just leave it be.

He's 65, not 85. We've had older presidents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.

Who else but another perverted abuser would say this?

He's old, doesn't know any better, just leave it be.

He's 65, not 85. We've had older presidents.

It's what OP and all the other women at the party have been doing for a decade. Why make a scene now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.

Who else but another perverted abuser would say this?

He's old, doesn't know any better, just leave it be.

He's 65, not 85. We've had older presidents.

It's what OP and all the other women at the party have been doing for a decade. Why make a scene now?

Not true. OP mentions younger cousins to whom it is beginning to happen. Even if one butt/breast graze is consent to be butt/breast grazed in perpetuity (which it is not) new attendees could complain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.

WTF?? Are you a pervy old man too? He SHOULD be embarrassed. OP, you need to stand up for yourself. What sort of example are you setting for your daughter and younger cousins? Why is this even a question??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.

Look, pervy uncle's on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

I would say no hugs for me.

I would call him out, "woops, Charlie, I think you accidentally touched my ass!"

I would even consider bringing cheap plastic ponchos for all the ladies who have complained, yall can tell people they are breast camoflauge. For unnamed perverts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.

Who else but another perverted abuser would say this?

He's old, doesn't know any better, just leave it be.

He's 65, not 85. We've had older presidents.

It's what OP and all the other women at the party have been doing for a decade. Why make a scene now?

agreed. If it bothers you so much, don't go to the party.

[Anonymous]

"Phil, was that your hand on my ass?!" Loudly.

Or you could try the old "you need to respect other people's bodies" or "my body belongs to me" that my six year old has been instructed to use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.

Who else but another perverted abuser would say this?

He's old, doesn't know any better, just leave it be.

He's 65, not 85. We've had older presidents.

It's what OP and all the other women at the party have been doing for a decade. Why make a scene now?

agreed. If it bothers you so much, don't go to the party.

Disagree x 1,000,000. This is one of those situations where people don't speak up because they only see the person infrequently and don't expect that it'll happen again. Then it happens again and they are too stunned to say anything in the moment. What I, and others, were suggesting is that the OP not simply expect the behavior to stop and prepare to confront it next time.

Personally, if I knew that someone attending my parties was repeatedly sexually harassing/assaulting my guests, that person would not be invited anymore, regardless of how close I was to that person's spouse. Clearly that's not the OP's in-laws' decision in this situation, and this man has earned public embarrassment for his behavior.