special bond with first grandchild
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Anonymous
| Agree or Disagree: Grandparents often have a "special" bond with the first grandchild that doesn't trickle down to the other grandchildren. |
Anonymous
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Disagree.
ILs have a bond with their first male grandchild. My DD, the first grandchild, was a disappointment due to her lack of penis. |
Anonymous
| My bpd mother is completely obsessed with my oldest daughter, her first grandchild. She openly admits she did not bond with any of the additional grandchildren after that. So, she has three grandkids she cares nothing for. |
Anonymous
| Disagree. In my experience, it's the kids that start pulling away as they get into middle school and grandparents become super boring. |
Anonymous
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My child is the only grandchild on both sides and it's overwhelmingly likely that that will remain the case.
I'd guess if there were another my mom would favor him exponentially. DH's mom would favor whomever is "the baby." Grandfather's would have no preference. |
Anonymous
| This is true in my family simply because of the amount of time spent with #1. Family life is just busier when subsequent kids come along, so mom and dad are spending less time at the grandparents'. Attention is diluted, for lack of a better word, when two or more kids are with grandma and grandpa. |
Anonymous
| Definitely true of oldest in our case. But he is also an emotionally open and affectionate kid. |
Anonymous
| Disagree. My granddad had a dozen grandchildren. We each wanted to eulogized him, as we felt we had the special connection with him as "favorite grandchild." What a special man! |
Anonymous
| Disagree. I'm the second grandchild out of seven, and I'm the favorite. It's because I'm the only adult who has taken initiative to establish a relationship with her without my parents (as in, I visit/contact her on my own). Growing up, I would say that my youngest cousins were the favorites, simply because they lived 30 minutes from my grandparents and saw them all of the time. |
Anonymous
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Disagree. In my family the first was the favorite, but it was because the grandparents helped raise him because my aunt was a single mom. On the other side, the first was definitely not the favorite. I'd argue that the last grandchild (20 years younger) was the favorite because they were completely retired then.
I don't think being male vs female makes a difference in favorites. A lot of men are obsessed with granddaughters, even my FIL who is a man's man. My baby is the only grandchild so far and I wish there were others to take the pressure off us. All 4 grandparents want her constantly. |
Anonymous
Love this! |
Anonymous
|
Absolutely agree. I'm the first grandchild on my mom's side of the family. My grandparents had a full five years with me before the next kid came around so we have a very strong bond that none of the other grandkids have with them.
When my grandfather on my mom's side passed away, I was the only grandchild who was left anything, and I was left a very expensive 4 story house in Iran because it's the house my grandfather built hoping one day my parents would move back and it would become my forever home. He didn't do this for any of the other grandkids. My maternal grandmother is even more attached to me, and even through her Alzheimer's, I'm the only person she connects with. She's leaving her entire collection of luxury goods to me (not even my mother or any of her own daughters) as well as all the land she inherited throughout Iran when her father passed, even though I've never gone back to Iran since my parents left the country. She doesn't hesitate to tell anyone / everyone that I'm her favorite and all her trips to the US are planned around me / my schedule and she always tell my parents she only wants to come when I'm planning on being in town for the longest amount of time. She absolutely *does* love her other grandchildren. And she dotes on them and loves them a lot. And gifts them many terrific items so it's not like they're left out. But the relationship I have with her is one I don't think any of them could have ever had because she practically raised me the first few years of my life while my father was in medical school and my mother was finishing her undergrad degree. Being with her and my grandfather at that point 24/7 gave us an unbreakable bond, one that I'm incredibly thankful for because they loved the hell out of me and I never felt alone and always felt showered with love, despite my parents rarely being around for those first few years. And when the Iran vs. Iraq war was happening and a bomb took out our neighbors house and part of our home and shrapnel ripped open my right arm from my knuckles up to about mid-arm, it was my grandparents who were with me and who risked their own lives to get me to a hospital while I was bleeding out. I'm tearing up just writing this because of all that they did for me and all the love they showed me. |
Anonymous
Are you a male or a female? |
Anonymous
| Disagree if the grandparents are well adjusted people. |
Anonymous
Male vs. Female made a big difference in my family. As a PP noted the lack of a penis made a big difference. |