special bond with first grandchild

[Anonymous]

Disagree. My parents are really good about treating each grandchild equally. As are my in-laws (though my two kids are their only grandchildren).

I was the youngest on my mom's side and was definitely the favorite for my grandfather (and I think my grandmother too, though she would never admit it). But that has to do with the fact that I helped them more as they got older and made an effort to spend time with them. Not because they were bad people.

[Anonymous]

I guess they might. I had two sets of grandparents. We were very close with one set. They had a total of two grandchildren. I was the younger one - I was my grandma's favorite.

[Anonymous]

True in my dh's family w his parents and their daughters son. We live far away so there's that. As my kids get older I see it's that they prefer boys as they have separated my son several times on this vacation and spent a long time with him, not my daughters and they also do that w their other grandkids.

[Anonymous]

For my family, yes. My sister's daughter is clearly the favorite of my parents, particularly my mom. She's grown into a very nice teenager, but she's always been the golden child. My mom doesn't treat her younger brothers the same way, and even though I have girls, they don't get fussed over the same way (so it's not a girl thing). I don't know if the kids notice, but my sister and I sure do.

For DH's side, it seems true at first--their first grandson was treated like a king, but I think looking back, he was just personality-wise more like DH's parents--introverted, gentle, quiet--while his younger sister is more boisterous and outgoing. They're both adults now. In-laws fuss equally over my kids and treat each one like a favorite. This week, each one has had a sleepover and special day with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely agree. I'm the first grandchild on my mom's side of the family. My grandparents had a full five years with me before the next kid came around so we have a very strong bond that none of the other grandkids have with them.

When my grandfather on my mom's side passed away, I was the only grandchild who was left anything, and I was left a very expensive 4 story house in Iran because it's the house my grandfather built hoping one day my parents would move back and it would become my forever home. He didn't do this for any of the other grandkids.

My maternal grandmother is even more attached to me, and even through her Alzheimer's, I'm the only person she connects with. She's leaving her entire collection of luxury goods to me (not even my mother or any of her own daughters) as well as all the land she inherited throughout Iran when her father passed, even though I've never gone back to Iran since my parents left the country. She doesn't hesitate to tell anyone / everyone that I'm her favorite and all her trips to the US are planned around me / my schedule and she always tell my parents she only wants to come when I'm planning on being in town for the longest amount of time.

She absolutely *does* love her other grandchildren. And she dotes on them and loves them a lot. And gifts them many terrific items so it's not like they're left out. But the relationship I have with her is one I don't think any of them could have ever had because she practically raised me the first few years of my life while my father was in medical school and my mother was finishing her undergrad degree.

Being with her and my grandfather at that point 24/7 gave us an unbreakable bond, one that I'm incredibly thankful for because they loved the hell out of me and I never felt alone and always felt showered with love, despite my parents rarely being around for those first few years. And when the Iran vs. Iraq war was happening and a bomb took out our neighbors house and part of our home and shrapnel ripped open my right arm from my knuckles up to about mid-arm, it was my grandparents who were with me and who risked their own lives to get me to a hospital while I was bleeding out. I'm tearing up just writing this because of all that they did for me and all the love they showed me.

I think it's horrible to leave so much to one child to the exclusion of the others. You sound narcissistic.

Yes I agree. Why are you reveling in this- how hurtful to the other grandchildren!

Both of you PP's are reading something into what I wrote that doesn't even exist. How am I narcissistic or reveling in anything that is hurtful to the other grandchildren when nothing hurtful is happening to the other grandchildren? I specifically pointed out how my grandmother *does* dote on her other grandchildren, loves them, gifts them beautiful things, etc. You're creating drama, or looking for it, where absolutely none exists. There is no drama in our family about this. It's a fact that they raised me for the first few years of my life. It's a fact that this creates a different bond between us vs. them and their other grandkids, who they have spent significantly less time with (because they live abroad). So stop being basic DCUM witches who destroy threads because they want to insert their own drama into it. Happy and lucky nobody in my family acts the way some of you do.

I think it's incredibly hurtful that your grandparents aren't splitting their inheritance evenly. I don't believe that the other grandchildren don't care- I've seen this happen with many families. Favoring one grandchild over the others creates a lot of drama. You sound naive and self centered if you don't realize that.

[Anonymous]

Not in my family. I was the eldest. My brother is five years younger, but my mother's mother could never remember my name and kept calling me by my brother's name.

[Anonymous]

Disagree. My parents are great with all 7 grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

My mom has a different relationship with each, but not stronger with any one in particular.

MIL is closer with SILs kids, even though they are younger. Mostly I think because she is closer with SIL than DH.

I'm the youngest, and was probably the closest with my grandmother.

[Anonymous]

I definitely have a special bond with the first. It is the greatest love I have ever known. I love the second very, very much and have a special relationship with him as well, but it would be a lie to say I have the same bond.

[Anonymous]

When you're forced to pick, no one should be surprised when that 1 becomes the favorite.

Our oldest is male, youngest is male, 3 girls in between. But because the parents of 4 decided we weren't good enough to be around their snowflakes, the oldest one gets all the attention.

We never miss a birthday or holiday for him, never miss a chance to see or be with him. When he graduates high school, he will get $10,000. The others get nothing. When he graduates college, he will get $50,000. The others get nothing.

This is what happens when you choose to keep us out of your kid's lives. The final nail will be no inheritance, The will has the reason why.

[Anonymous]

Not special as in better but my grandparents helped raise me because we liced next door and they were quite young when I was growing up (1st GC, 36 yo ow), it's just different a bit with my cousins who are early 20s now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not special as in better but my grandparents helped raise me because we liced next door and they were quite young when I was growing up (1st GC, 36 yo ow), it's just different a bit with my cousins who are early 20s now

LIVED next door