How to Deal With People Who Brag Constantly and Show Off

[Anonymous]

Husband and I do well financially and have for about 10 years. Not rich, but comfortable - big house, savings, retirement, college, travel, etc. We have kids and are in our 30s. We are good friends with another couple who recently have gone from struggling to doing well financially after the husband got a great job opportunity two years ago. Ever since then, all they ever talk about is what they're buying and how much it costs. I'm happy for them, but it's just really irritating when you're hanging out with people who are obsessed with status. For example, they talk about going out to eat at some fancy restaurant and it only cost $500 for the meal. (Which I think is a waste of money, but not mine, so oh well) And what kind of car they're going to get, mercedes, land rover, tesla, etc. And talking about how they paid $700 for a pair of shoes and how awesome they are. Just really stupid stuff. And it's constant.

Here's why it truly bothers me - I feel like their attitude has completely changed and now they just act like smug, entitled people. We are not jealous. We have a few other friends who make tons of money as well, but hanging out with others isn't as uncomfortable because they're not constantly trying to show off their success. My husband and I are personally very frugal people, since we both grew up poor. Other than avoiding these people, which is what we've been doing lately, what is some good advice for dealing with this?

[Anonymous]

Try to reframe your perceptions, since you can't change them, you can only change your own actions. So instead of seeing you and your DH as the virtuous Frugal down-to-earth couple and theyn as the showboating ridiculous couple, try to chalk it up in your head to "we have different priorities."

The reason it bothers you is that you think that what they're doing is somehow less good than the way you approach money. If you can re-frame your outlook, and perhaps see it more as these are people who are genuinely happy and enjoying their new lives, it will be easier.

you'll feel a lot better about the whole situation. Try to steer the conversation away, focus on their positive attributes.

I know a lot of people are going to come on here and say ditch the shallow, status obsessed couple(as you yourself called them). But if they're overall good people, I think the better approach is always to try to change your self or at least your outlook, not other people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband and I do well financially and have for about 10 years. Not rich, but comfortable - big house, savings, retirement, college, travel, etc. We have kids and are in our 30s. We are good friends with another couple who recently have gone from struggling to doing well financially after the husband got a great job opportunity two years ago. Ever since then, all they ever talk about is what they're buying and how much it costs. I'm happy for them, but it's just really irritating when you're hanging out with people who are obsessed with status. For example, they talk about going out to eat at some fancy restaurant and it only cost $500 for the meal. (Which I think is a waste of money, but not mine, so oh well) And what kind of car they're going to get, mercedes, land rover, tesla, etc. And talking about how they paid $700 for a pair of shoes and how awesome they are. Just really stupid stuff. And it's constant.

Here's why it truly bothers me - I feel like their attitude has completely changed and now they just act like smug, entitled people. We are not jealous. We have a few other friends who make tons of money as well, but hanging out with others isn't as uncomfortable because they're not constantly trying to show off their success. My husband and I are personally very frugal people, since we both grew up poor. Other than avoiding these people, which is what we've been doing lately, what is some good advice for dealing with this?

First you have to face the fact that you are rich.

[Anonymous]

And why are you friends with these people?

[Anonymous]

Get new friends. They sound awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husband and I do well financially and have for about 10 years. Not rich, but comfortable - big house, savings, retirement, college, travel, etc. We have kids and are in our 30s. We are good friends with another couple who recently have gone from struggling to doing well financially after the husband got a great job opportunity two years ago. Ever since then, all they ever talk about is what they're buying and how much it costs. I'm happy for them, but it's just really irritating when you're hanging out with people who are obsessed with status. For example, they talk about going out to eat at some fancy restaurant and it only cost $500 for the meal. (Which I think is a waste of money, but not mine, so oh well) And what kind of car they're going to get, mercedes, land rover, tesla, etc. And talking about how they paid $700 for a pair of shoes and how awesome they are. Just really stupid stuff. And it's constant.

Here's why it truly bothers me - I feel like their attitude has completely changed and now they just act like smug, entitled people. We are not jealous. We have a few other friends who make tons of money as well, but hanging out with others isn't as uncomfortable because they're not constantly trying to show off their success. My husband and I are personally very frugal people, since we both grew up poor. Other than avoiding these people, which is what we've been doing lately, what is some good advice for dealing with this?

First you have to face the fact that you are rich.

Why does that matter?

[Anonymous]

I'd just change the subject

[Anonymous]

OP - you really need to get out of your sheltered life and help the less fortunate if you are posting stupid stuff like this. Your friends may see your example and follow suit. No one needs $700 shoes when there are homeless peoe all over DC!

[Anonymous]

^people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husband and I do well financially and have for about 10 years. Not rich, but comfortable - big house, savings, retirement, college, travel, etc. We have kids and are in our 30s. We are good friends with another couple who recently have gone from struggling to doing well financially after the husband got a great job opportunity two years ago. Ever since then, all they ever talk about is what they're buying and how much it costs. I'm happy for them, but it's just really irritating when you're hanging out with people who are obsessed with status. For example, they talk about going out to eat at some fancy restaurant and it only cost $500 for the meal. (Which I think is a waste of money, but not mine, so oh well) And what kind of car they're going to get, mercedes, land rover, tesla, etc. And talking about how they paid $700 for a pair of shoes and how awesome they are. Just really stupid stuff. And it's constant.

Here's why it truly bothers me - I feel like their attitude has completely changed and now they just act like smug, entitled people. We are not jealous. We have a few other friends who make tons of money as well, but hanging out with others isn't as uncomfortable because they're not constantly trying to show off their success. My husband and I are personally very frugal people, since we both grew up poor. Other than avoiding these people, which is what we've been doing lately, what is some good advice for dealing with this?

First you have to face the fact that you are rich.

And jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - you really need to get out of your sheltered life and help the less fortunate if you are posting stupid stuff like this. Your friends may see your example and follow suit. No one needs $700 shoes when there are homeless peoe all over DC!

That's silly. The same could be said for almost anything - $50 shoes, going out to eat, using face lotion, going on a vacation etc. Everththig is relative. A $700 pair of shoes may seem ridiculous to you, but someone else could find a $50 pair of shoes ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Are they actually mentioning the cost of these items/experiences or are you noting the cost because you know of it? There is a huge difference. Good friends should be able to share they went to a nice meal and enjoyed X restaurant and tell you what it was like. Now if they are also bragging about how much it cost then that's tacky and would get annoying. Same for the shoes. Did she show you the new shoes and tell you the price or do you just happen to know they are $700 shoes? Again, there's a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd just change the subject

Make it obvious too and be consistent. That's something I would do. Begin every new subject change with "other than how you are spending money what else is going on in your life?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd just change the subject

Make it obvious too and be consistent. That's something I would do. Begin every new subject change with "other than how you are spending money what else is going on in your life?"

If that's what the friends are actually doing. They may just be sharing about their life and op is inferring the cost from what they've shared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd just change the subject

Make it obvious too and be consistent. That's something I would do. Begin every new subject change with "other than how you are spending money what else is going on in your life?"

This is funny. I am the OP, and maybe we will try that next time. As for some of the other comments:

Why are we friends with them? We've been friends for a long time, since college. Way before either of us had any sort of financial success.

My sheltered life and helping the homeless - My life is just as sheltered as any other person in the US who doesn't live paycheck to paycheck, but that's not really relevant to the question.

Are they actually mentioning the cost of items - Yes, they are. That's what is so irritating really. I don't know anyone else who tells me how much they spent on their car, their home improvements, etc. (Unless they're bragging about a good deal) These people mention ridiculous amounts to show how much they can afford I guess.

You are jealous - No, actually I'm not. I can afford to spend money, but the difference is I don't share everything with my friends and post it to facebook about how much my imported Italian marble fireplace tiles cost and how awesome they are. Yes, this is a real example.