Stepdad treats me different

[Anonymous]

I'm 20 and my stepdad treats me different. I was my raised by him since I was 8 years old. My mom doesn't work and he makes the money. I have a younger sister ( his kid) that is my half-sister and 3 older siblings ( from my bio dad). My dad is in jail. I want to go to college but my step-dad refuses to help me pay. I am slowly going to school by saving but it's not affording much. My parents are mad that I'm not in school full-time but they don't understand that I can't afford it. I had a health scare and I had to go to the ER. My parents didn't want to come with me. I said I was hurt by it but my parents said
" you're an adult". I got a 5k bill after finding out I was not on my step-dad's insurance. My oldest sister struggled with school as well.

My younger sister ( his kid) got a car when she was 16 ( we didn't), they paid for private high school and will be sending her to am expensive college. She broke a couple bones ( separate occasions) when drunk ( she's 18) and they ran to the ER to be with her. They are also paying her medical bills when they refuse to help pay mine.

All my life it's been like this. She never got grounded, got better gifts, was given more freedom but we were all treated harshly for punishments, had to buy our own cars, and treated different by both parents. My mom hates our dad and so she favors my you get sister. It's upsetting and I feel like cutting them out of my life. I try to bring up my feelings and they say I'm whining. I suffer from anxiety ( I was abused as a young child) and my stepdad makes fun of my for being in therapy. He said only " cry babies" need a therapist to cope. I hate it. I also told them I have issues stemming from how I was raised and they said we were all treated equal. My mom thinks she is the best mom.

[Anonymous]

You need to grow up fast OP. You have a very unsupportive family. Come to grips with it. You'll have to make it pretty much on your own.

If you ever have kids, try to be a better parent than yours were.

[Anonymous]

My sister has verbally abused us since childhood. She constantly calls us a B and tell us we ruined her life by moving with them. My parents don't say anything to her. When she gets mad, she screams and cusses out my mom and her dad. They still met her get away with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up fast OP. You have a very unsupportive family. Come to grips with it. You'll have to make it pretty much on your own.

If you ever have kids, try to be a better parent than yours were.

I am. I work and live on my own. It's upsetting that at family parties they tell my family members that their upset I'm not doîng mire for myself, but refuse to help. I was physically and sexually abused as a child which left me unable to have children. I was recently diagnosed with MS. My parents don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up fast OP. You have a very unsupportive family. Come to grips with it. You'll have to make it pretty much on your own.

If you ever have kids, try to be a better parent than yours were.

I am. I work and live on my own. It's upsetting that at family parties they tell my family members that their upset I'm not doîng mire for myself, but refuse to help. I was physically and sexually abused as a child which left me unable to have children. I was recently diagnosed with MS. My parents don't care.

OP, my heart goes out to you. It sounds like you're really angry that no one will acknowledge that you got the shit end of the stick, so to speak. I'm very sorry that you got dealt this deck of cards. I also have terrible childhood story of my own, and it took me a long time to move on from the anger.

In fact, I think it's a good sign that you see the situation for what it is. That is an important first stage. But the pp's are right - you eventually need to stop looking to them for any kind of support whatsoever - it does not look like you're going to get it, and pining for it is going to hold you back.

You may need to cut contact for the forseeable future. Don't do it aggressively or bitterly, but back away until you are satisfied enough with your own life that being around them doesn't piss you the eff off.

Hugs to you OP, I am sorry that you have to deal with the shittiness that is our world at times. You deserve better, and now you have the chance to give everything you deserve to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Life is too short to be spent in company of shitty people. Move on. Cut them off (including your mom) completely. If you biological sisters are supportive, keep a connection with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up fast OP. You have a very unsupportive family. Come to grips with it. You'll have to make it pretty much on your own.

If you ever have kids, try to be a better parent than yours were.

I am. I work and live on my own. It's upsetting that at family parties they tell my family members that their upset I'm not doîng mire for myself, but refuse to help. I was physically and sexually abused as a child which left me unable to have children. I was recently diagnosed with MS. My parents don't care.

OP, my heart goes out to you. It sounds like you're really angry that no one will acknowledge that you got the shit end of the stick, so to speak. I'm very sorry that you got dealt this deck of cards. I also have terrible childhood story of my own, and it took me a long time to move on from the anger.

In fact, I think it's a good sign that you see the situation for what it is. That is an important first stage. But the pp's are right - you eventually need to stop looking to them for any kind of support whatsoever - it does not look like you're going to get it, and pining for it is going to hold you back.

You may need to cut contact for the forseeable future. Don't do it aggressively or bitterly, but back away until you are satisfied enough with your own life that being around them doesn't piss you the eff off.

Hugs to you OP, I am sorry that you have to deal with the shittiness that is our world at times. You deserve better, and now you have the chance to give everything you deserve to yourself.

PP, I don't get the anger you're seeing in the OP's posts. She's not coming across as angry. Hurt, yes, and justifiably so.

OP, it sounds like you're doing all of the right things in a really horrible situation. You absolutely deserve better, and I hope you get to a place where you experience better.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. I had a bad relationship with my parents, too. The best thing to do is create the circle of family and friends that are what you want and need. Create your own network of support. Therapy can help if you are having difficulty finding those types of healthy, emotionally intimate connections. And if you are, it's completely understandable considering what you've been through. Big hugs.

[Anonymous]

I'm really sorry you had to go through this. Actually, the person I'm most angry at for you is your biological dad. He's the one that failed his three children. After that, I'm kind of ticked at your mom for not working to support you. Having five children (four bio, one step), I can't see why she'd leave financial responsibility for three of her children to someone not legally responsible for them. You got a raw deal, but please don't let this hinder your relationship with your sister. The adults in your life failed you, not her. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Apply for medicaid and food stamps. Its unfortunately, but you need to find your own way.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP. This is a really crappy situation. I have no advice, just wanted to offer some empathy.

My parents were like this too, and it's so hard knowing that if they would just treat you like a normal parent, they could open so many doors, but they choose not to. I'm sorry. The good news is that you're a young adult now, so it's only going to get better, because there will be fewer and fewer times in the future when you need your parents. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry that you're hurting, OP.

Your mom is probably not the best judge of character. She choose your dad, then repeated a similar pattern with her second husband. The good news is that biology isn't destiny. You've not been given the best role models, but you're making positive choices in your life. If you're in therapy, discuss your feelings there--a safe place, not with people who dismiss you.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry, OP
I am not sure it makes you feel better but it would have been even worse if your mom had to raise all three of you on her own.
I hope you can find your own happiness.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing some tribulations in your life. Be thankful for the discernment to recognize your situation. For the record, life isn't fair and it wasn't meant to be. Also, no one owes you anything -- yet you have to keep moving forward. Set some goals and make sure every step you take is another step closer to achieving them. I wish you the best.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 20 and my stepdad treats me different. I was my raised by him since I was 8 years old. My mom doesn't work and he makes the money. I have a younger sister ( his kid) that is my half-sister and 3 older siblings ( from my bio dad). My dad is in jail. I want to go to college but my step-dad refuses to help me pay. I am slowly going to school by saving but it's not affording much. My parents are mad that I'm not in school full-time but they don't understand that I can't afford it. I had a health scare and I had to go to the ER. My parents didn't want to come with me. I said I was hurt by it but my parents said
" you're an adult". I got a 5k bill after finding out I was not on my step-dad's insurance. My oldest sister struggled with school as well.

My younger sister ( his kid) got a car when she was 16 ( we didn't), they paid for private high school and will be sending her to am expensive college. She broke a couple bones ( separate occasions) when drunk ( she's 18) and they ran to the ER to be with her. They are also paying her medical bills when they refuse to help pay mine.

All my life it's been like this. She never got grounded, got better gifts, was given more freedom but we were all treated harshly for punishments, had to buy our own cars, and treated different by both parents. My mom hates our dad and so she favors my you get sister. It's upsetting and I feel like cutting them out of my life. I try to bring up my feelings and they say I'm whining. I suffer from anxiety ( I was abused as a young child) and my stepdad makes fun of my for being in therapy. He said only " cry babies" need a therapist to cope. I hate it. I also told them I have issues stemming from how I was raised and they said we were all treated equal. My mom thinks she is the best mom.

[Anonymous]

My grandfather's parents abandoned him and his four brothers when he was about 10, leaving him in an orphanage. He worked to pull his brothers out, one by one, raising each. He went on to a successful career, with a wife and three successful children, then left 11 grandchildren.

Get a grip. Move on and make something with your life. Have you thought of joining the Armed Forces, to qualify for college funding?