Stepdad treats me different

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life is too short to be spent in company of shitty people. Move on. Cut them off (including your mom) completely. If you biological sisters are supportive, keep a connection with them.

+1 these people will never change and you will never get the acknowledgement and love you deserve. I am sorry, it’s hard but in my case I found good people exist and there is a lot to live for.

I had asthma and nobody cared much all the way to the ER. After I cut my family off, my asthma is practically gone! You can do it. Don’t look back.

[Anonymous]

Why are you angry at your stepdad rather than your biological mom and dad? They are the ones who should be taking care of you. It’s not your stepdad’s obligation to financially provide for four adult children of a dead at dad and mom who doesn’t appear to be working.

I’m sorry you don’t have better parents. Get on Medicaid or another health care insurance program before dec 15. Look at healthcare.gov

[Anonymous]

*deadbeat dad

[Anonymous]

You need to cut and run. Remenber your step father iwes you nothing and be thankful fornthe little he did give. Question your moms choices but move on. You ate responsible for your future. I had similar circumstances and all i could do was keep moving forward. As long as you dwell on this you will never achieve.

[Anonymous]

Some people are jerks and that is about them and their problems, not about you and your value or love-ability. You should feel sorry for them that they are so limited in their ability to give and receive love. I would wish them well in my heart and move on from them all.

[Anonymous]

You are 20, start living your life. It is hard to cope with all this, sure, but you can work, you can take loans, you can slowly make a life for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you angry at your stepdad rather than your biological mom and dad? They are the ones who should be taking care of you. It’s not your stepdad’s obligation to financially provide for four adult children of a dead at dad and mom who doesn’t appear to be working.

I’m sorry you don’t have better parents. Get on Medicaid or another health care insurance program before dec 15. Look at healthcare.gov

I sure hope you aren't a step parent! Anyone with this attitude should never become a step parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you angry at your stepdad rather than your biological mom and dad? They are the ones who should be taking care of you. It’s not your stepdad’s obligation to financially provide for four adult children of a dead at dad and mom who doesn’t appear to be working.

I’m sorry you don’t have better parents. Get on Medicaid or another health care insurance program before dec 15. Look at healthcare.gov

I sure hope you aren't a step parent! Anyone with this attitude should never become a step parent.

This poster's "attitude" is spot on, IMO. Too many stepparents spend an entire lifetime trying to be a good parent to kids who aren't their own and are vilified for it. Do too much? You are overstepping your bounds, trying to buy kids' affection, interfering with bio parents, etc. Do too little? You are uncaring and selfish, should open up your finances FOREVER to support kids (even as adults) without question, etc.

Often, a stepparent's only reward is ingratitude or indifference from the children they helped raise. Unless you've spent a lifetime trying to walk the landmine-ridden path of stepparenthood, then don't comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you angry at your stepdad rather than your biological mom and dad? They are the ones who should be taking care of you. It’s not your stepdad’s obligation to financially provide for four adult children of a dead at dad and mom who doesn’t appear to be working.

I’m sorry you don’t have better parents. Get on Medicaid or another health care insurance program before dec 15. Look at healthcare.gov

I sure hope you aren't a step parent! Anyone with this attitude should never become a step parent.

This poster's "attitude" is spot on, IMO. Too many stepparents spend an entire lifetime trying to be a good parent to kids who aren't their own and are vilified for it. Do too much? You are overstepping your bounds, trying to buy kids' affection, interfering with bio parents, etc. Do too little? You are uncaring and selfish, should open up your finances FOREVER to support kids (even as adults) without question, etc.

Often, a stepparent's only reward is ingratitude or indifference from the children they helped raise. Unless you've spent a lifetime trying to walk the landmine-ridden path of stepparenthood, then don't comment.

Yes, I've never dealt with this situation but stepdad actually seems to be the most responsible of the three adults. I presume that's actually the reason he's getting the flak here. Can't get blood from a stone and all.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like SD has single handed lay provided for all the necessities for OP and her mother for years. While it might be “nice” for him to give her a car, etc., at the end of the day, she has two living biological parents who don’t seem to be providing for her in any way. If either of her biological parents wanted her to have a car, they could have provided one. Mom could have worked for a few years to provide a car and an education.

It doesn’t seem fair, but the reality is OP is getting treated differently because she IS different. Directing her anger towards her stepfather, instead of her mother and her father, are the actual issue. Mom has apparently picked the pan as the plan, instead of taking care of her daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check into the armed forces. Talk to the Army, Navy, Coast Guard and Marine recruiters.

Also consider the National Guard. It is one weekend a month
and 2 weeks a year.

Mom had one 20 year old caregiver whose Mom was in prison.
She was on her own and had been for a long time. She was in the Army National Guard
and loved it. She is now in Afghanistan working in the Morgue (her dream occupation....originally she worked on diesel trucks). When she left for Afghanistan her Dad
was going to prison.

My sister is a retired US Marine and my brother in law
is retired Army. My sister had a great job flying around
Europe in business class for the US Marines and meeting
people from former Soviet bloc countries that wanted to join Nato. Both my brother in law and sister loved their careers.

Talk to the recuiters. Don't do anything hasty but see
what they have to offer.

OP says she was recently diagnosed with MS. She’s not a good fit for the military right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like SD has single handed lay provided for all the necessities for OP and her mother for years. While it might be “nice” for him to give her a car, etc., at the end of the day, she has two living biological parents who don’t seem to be providing for her in any way. If either of her biological parents wanted her to have a car, they could have provided one. Mom could have worked for a few years to provide a car and an education.

It doesn’t seem fair, but the reality is OP is getting treated differently because she IS different. Directing her anger towards her stepfather, instead of her mother and her father, are the actual issue. Mom has apparently picked the pan as the plan, instead of taking care of her daughter.

Yes the step dad “did it all” while the bio mom gets zero credit for the work she has done to raise five kids (including the kid she had with the stepdad.). Newsflash: even if the bio mom’s work is unpaid, the stepdad wouldn’t have been able to work or would have had to shell out a pretty penny for childcare had she not been home raising the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like SD has single handed lay provided for all the necessities for OP and her mother for years. While it might be “nice” for him to give her a car, etc., at the end of the day, she has two living biological parents who don’t seem to be providing for her in any way. If either of her biological parents wanted her to have a car, they could have provided one. Mom could have worked for a few years to provide a car and an education.

It doesn’t seem fair, but the reality is OP is getting treated differently because she IS different. Directing her anger towards her stepfather, instead of her mother and her father, are the actual issue. Mom has apparently picked the pan as the plan, instead of taking care of her daughter.

Yes the step dad “did it all” while the bio mom gets zero credit for the work she has done to raise five kids (including the kid she had with the stepdad.). Newsflash: even if the bio mom’s work is unpaid, the stepdad wouldn’t have been able to work or would have had to shell out a pretty penny for childcare had she not been home raising the kids.

NP. I’ve been a SAHM for several years, and while it’s more comfortable to have one parent at home...it’s certainly possible for both to work. You have four kids with a deadbeat, you don’t have another with a new man to secure the SAHM deal. You don’t have more kids, and get a job to provide for the four you’ve already given life to...and accepted responsibility for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 20 and my stepdad treats me different. I was my raised by him since I was 8 years old. My mom doesn't work and he makes the money. I have a younger sister ( his kid) that is my half-sister and 3 older siblings ( from my bio dad). My dad is in jail. I want to go to college but my step-dad refuses to help me pay. I am slowly going to school by saving but it's not affording much. My parents are mad that I'm not in school full-time but they don't understand that I can't afford it. I had a health scare and I had to go to the ER. My parents didn't want to come with me. I said I was hurt by it but my parents said
" you're an adult". I got a 5k bill after finding out I was not on my step-dad's insurance. My oldest sister struggled with school as well.

My younger sister ( his kid) got a car when she was 16 ( we didn't), they paid for private high school and will be sending her to am expensive college. She broke a couple bones ( separate occasions) when drunk ( she's 18) and they ran to the ER to be with her. They are also paying her medical bills when they refuse to help pay mine.

All my life it's been like this. She never got grounded, got better gifts, was given more freedom but we were all treated harshly for punishments, had to buy our own cars, and treated different by both parents. My mom hates our dad and so she favors my you get sister. It's upsetting and I feel like cutting them out of my life. I try to bring up my feelings and they say I'm whining. I suffer from anxiety ( I was abused as a young child) and my stepdad makes fun of my for being in therapy. He said only " cry babies" need a therapist to cope. I hate it. I also told them I have issues stemming from how I was raised and they said we were all treated equal. My mom thinks she is the best mom.

I don't understand some of these responses- I'm not a step parent but I wouldn't become a step parent if I wasn't willing to find a way for the kids to receive equal care and support. Ideally there would be supportive biological parents in the picture, but OP's SD knew that there wasn't when he married her mom. Choosing not to help or treat the kids equally is horrible- especially since OP was basically abandoned by her bio dad and her mom doesn't work outside the home. OP's mother and bio dad are worse.
I'm sorry that you're going through this OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apply for medicaid and food stamps. Its unfortunately, but you need to find your own way.

+1