Stepdad treats me different

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The person you should have an issue with is your mother. She is ultimately responsible for your upbringing since your father is in jail.

Really that’s not true when she applies for financial aid they use her stepfather’s income to determine if she’s qualified

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you angry at your stepdad rather than your biological mom and dad? They are the ones who should be taking care of you. It’s not your stepdad’s obligation to financially provide for four adult children of a dead at dad and mom who doesn’t appear to be working.

I’m sorry you don’t have better parents. Get on Medicaid or another health care insurance program before dec 15. Look at healthcare.gov

Her stepdad marrying her mom made it virtually impossible for her to get financial aid for college

[Anonymous]

You are 20 and your half sister (his daughter) is 18. Yet your step dad rasied you since you were 8? The math doesn't work.

Also, how were you left unable to have kids?

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like SD has single handed lay provided for all the necessities for OP and her mother for years. While it might be “nice” for him to give her a car, etc., at the end of the day, she has two living biological parents who don’t seem to be providing for her in any way. If either of her biological parents wanted her to have a car, they could have provided one. Mom could have worked for a few years to provide a car and an education.

It doesn’t seem fair, but the reality is OP is getting treated differently because she IS different. Directing her anger towards her stepfather, instead of her mother and her father, are the actual issue. Mom has apparently picked the pan as the plan, instead of taking care of her daughter.

Yes the step dad “did it all” while the bio mom gets zero credit for the work she has done to raise five kids (including the kid she had with the stepdad.). Newsflash: even if the bio mom’s work is unpaid, the stepdad wouldn’t have been able to work or would have had to shell out a pretty penny for childcare had she not been home raising the kids.

NP. I’ve been a SAHM for several years, and while it’s more comfortable to have one parent at home...it’s certainly possible for both to work. You have four kids with a deadbeat, you don’t have another with a new man to secure the SAHM deal. You don’t have more kids, and get a job to provide for the four you’ve already given life to...and accepted responsibility for.

The mom is a SAHM to an 18 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like SD has single handed lay provided for all the necessities for OP and her mother for years. While it might be “nice” for him to give her a car, etc., at the end of the day, she has two living biological parents who don’t seem to be providing for her in any way. If either of her biological parents wanted her to have a car, they could have provided one. Mom could have worked for a few years to provide a car and an education.

It doesn’t seem fair, but the reality is OP is getting treated differently because she IS different. Directing her anger towards her stepfather, instead of her mother and her father, are the actual issue. Mom has apparently picked the pan as the plan, instead of taking care of her daughter.

Yes the step dad “did it all” while the bio mom gets zero credit for the work she has done to raise five kids (including the kid she had with the stepdad.). Newsflash: even if the bio mom’s work is unpaid, the stepdad wouldn’t have been able to work or would have had to shell out a pretty penny for childcare had she not been home raising the kids.

NP. I’ve been a SAHM for several years, and while it’s more comfortable to have one parent at home...it’s certainly possible for both to work. You have four kids with a deadbeat, you don’t have another with a new man to secure the SAHM deal. You don’t have more kids, and get a job to provide for the four you’ve already given life to...and accepted responsibility for.

The mom is a SAHM to an 18 year old

Yes. However, this dynamic was created years prior to her becoming 18. Yes? People typically save for their kids college years prior to that time if they choose to do so. Yes?

[Anonymous]

OP I am sorry. This really sucks, plain and simple. I would start slowly withdrawing from them. Protect yourself.

Hopefully you can someday create your own family unit with a DH and DC that love you as you deserve.

Maybe join a big sister program and mentor young girls who have no support. Helping others always helps oneself.

Your step-dad is a big jerk IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am sorry. This really sucks, plain and simple. I would start slowly withdrawing from them. Protect yourself.

Hopefully you can someday create your own family unit with a DH and DC that love you as you deserve.

Maybe join a big sister program and mentor young girls who have no support. Helping others always helps oneself.

Your step-dad is a big jerk IMO.

+1

OP, I’m older than you, and have been through this. I mention my age because it’s taken years for me to process and realize it’s not me, it’s them. Please understand this earlier than I did. Slowly cut them out and rebuild your life with people that genuinely love and support you. You are so worthy of this. Btw, the stress from this will only aggregate your MS. Find peace. When you can afford a therapist, see one. Take advantage of the many great programs out there for financial assistance. You got this OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am sorry. This really sucks, plain and simple. I would start slowly withdrawing from them. Protect yourself.

Hopefully you can someday create your own family unit with a DH and DC that love you as you deserve.

Maybe join a big sister program and mentor young girls who have no support. Helping others always helps oneself.

Your step-dad is a big jerk IMO.

And her own mother is not? OP apparently just got diagnosed with MS, and it’s crickets from her own mother.

We have no idea if the higher education and car for SS are partially funded by her mother. Or grandparents, or whomever. This might be the fruition of money put away at her birth. OP has her own biological family that seem ill equipped to provide for her, emotionally or financially. That’s on them, not on her stepfather.

While I believe that step parents should be “all in”, I also see that OP is not his daughter, and he has provided for her for 12 years. I don’t think it would be unrealistic for him to think that OPs actual parents should be providing for her to some degree.

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Troll
Your math doesn't work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you angry at your stepdad rather than your biological mom and dad? They are the ones who should be taking care of you. It’s not your stepdad’s obligation to financially provide for four adult children of a dead at dad and mom who doesn’t appear to be working.

I’m sorry you don’t have better parents. Get on Medicaid or another health care insurance program before dec 15. Look at healthcare.gov

I sure hope you aren't a step parent! Anyone with this attitude should never become a step parent.

This poster's "attitude" is spot on, IMO. Too many stepparents spend an entire lifetime trying to be a good parent to kids who aren't their own and are vilified for it. Do too much? You are overstepping your bounds, trying to buy kids' affection, interfering with bio parents, etc. Do too little? You are uncaring and selfish, should open up your finances FOREVER to support kids (even as adults) without question, etc.

Often, a stepparent's only reward is ingratitude or indifference from the children they helped raise. Unless you've spent a lifetime trying to walk the landmine-ridden path of stepparenthood, then don't comment.

Tell me how refusing to pay for her healthcare and belittling her for getting therapy is overstepping his bounds.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you talked with a college financial advisor? I think there’s a way to declare yourself emancipated so your stepfather’s income doesn’t need to be considered for your financial aid. You will probably be taking out loans. Choose a major that will lead to a high-paying job.