Sahms - what's your schedule during the week?
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Anonymous
| Please give me tips! I'm staying home with my difficult 9 month old and I feel like I get nothing done. I want to start going to the gym for an hour every day. I finally found a childcare provider who is good with him. My son wakes up at 6 am and then goes back to sleep until 10 am. Most of the baby classes are all starting around this time so I haven't been going. |
Anonymous
| SAHM of 3 here- get to the gym in the am and shower there if you can. Leave baby with childcare person. Errands in pm. Need more info on how he is difficult to help more. |
Anonymous
Nothing seems to make him happy. He spends a large part of the day crying. He cries because he's hungry (fair enough), tired (okay), when he goes in his high chair, when he goes in the stroller, when he sits on the floor, when he plays with his toys. You get the picture, he cries a lot. I have no idea if it's a development thing, if he's teething, if he's frustrated, if his cold is making him more miserable than usual. It's wierd because if we go anywhere he is all smiles and everyone comments how smiley and happy he is. Our apartment is also really small and I think it makes things harder. DH thinks this is all in my head. I have less room to walk around holding him. He's always happy if I hold him but in a small space it feels so cramped! I try to make sure we go out and about so he's not "bored" in the house, I sit on the floor and play but sometimes I need to you know, go to the bathroom, make food and this is when he ramps up the noise. It's really getting to me now, the constant noise, the fact that I can't seem to make my little boy happy. I have tried repeating the "this phase shall pass" mantra but will it? And how the hell will I manage until then? Is this normal? It's sounds ridiculous, people have far worse things to deal with but it's really getting me down and each day feels like a chore. |
Anonymous
You are a stay at home mom and you have childcare? Are you kidding me? |
Anonymous
Heeeeeyyy, looks like the Chardonnay has kicked in. |
Anonymous
Not OP, I am a SAHM have a nanny and housekeeper. Your head must be exploding. My DH travels for work and I need time for me. If you WOH you get the chance to take a lunch break and have alone time when you are commuting. Don't judge, your life is not anyone else's. |
Anonymous
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If you have a difficult baby or if you're feeling strung out I think keeping to a schedule helps as does connecting with other people. I have twins and in the rough patches I took them out for walks 2x per day after naps (no excuses, in any weather) and tried to walk with a friend for at least one of them. It kept me sane. I met some of the moms through playgroups.
Sometimes hired help can be more useful to do the tedious stuff - house work, cleaning, laundry, diaper changes, making baby food, etc. Not just the babysitting aspect. |
Anonymous
| OP, what time does he go to bed at night if he's sleeping until 10 am? Maybe try to get him closer to a bedtime of 7-8 pm. It's possible he's grumpy because he's not getting good, restorative sleep if he's going to bed much later than that. |
Anonymous
Do you take your kids with you to the gym or to doctors appointments? No, you have childcare. |
Anonymous
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Does he have reflux? What time is he going to bed? 10 is really late to sleep. Join a gym with childcare. They usually have 2 hour max. I try to go everyday. Shower there.
Try to join a playgroup so that you rotate getting together at different houses. Don't have another baby anytime soon. |
Anonymous
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I think the OP is saying the first nap is 10am. He's 9m so prob on 2 naps. This is a hard age because you are right, most classes are at 10am.
Here's what I would do: Wake at 6am. Feed him, "play", whatever. Maybe go for a walk outside in the stroller. Bundle up and get fresh air. Or throw him in the car and go through a drive through and get yourself coffee. Try starting nap earlier- 9am When he wakes up feed a bottle and head out for the day. Plans w a friend? Do you have friends w babies on 2 naps? Library, Barnes and noble etc. there are classes for kids w 2 naps, you just need to look harder. Where do you live? We did a lot of Kidville classes in Bethesda. Lunch at home and then nap around 1pm Back out after nap. Grocery shop, run an errand etc. Home for dinner, LONG bath, lots of stories and bedtime. It's a long day with a 9 month old, but generally just do what you want to do and take him with you in the stroller. Go to the portrait gallery, or natural history museum. Or to target. Enjoy your day and just bring him along. He will probably enjoy the change of scenery. Also, try and do as much of this as possible w a friend. The life of a SAHM can be lonely. Find yourself some company. |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry you are having a tough time. A few things:
1) have you tried wearing him in a sling or carrier? This calms many babies and lets you get more done. 2) a 9 mo doesn't really care where you take him/doesn't really get bored. So make the outings something YOU like-- walk, museum, lunch with a friend, etc. 3) find and build in time to see friends with kids around the same age (with your baby) |
Anonymous
NP here, and I don't go to the gym, but yes, I bring my kid/s to my doctor appointments. And if the other parent watches the kid, that's not childcare. |
Anonymous
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I am a SAHM now and I have never trusted anyone except my DH and my mom to look after my children. Especially when I was a WOHM. What does it tell you? Nothing, except I found it difficult to trust people with childcare.
Now I am a SAHM with two out of the nest and one in HS. I have a cleaning lady, twice a week as well as a lawn maintainence person. I have had them since before my kids were born - so more than 20 years. They have been with us when I was having my babies and when I was WOH. I realized very early that instead of paying for therapy, I can pay for the cleaning person and I will be much happier in life. We are middle class for DC, and I am happy that I have good help and I have managed to retain them with excellent pay. Having a babysitter, a nanny, a chauffeur, a cook, a personal trainer, a maid is nothing to be defensive about - regardless of if you are a SAHM or a WOHM. You are actually helping the economy and you obviously have the money to afford this. What is bad is not paying these people fair wages or treating them with disrespect. (This also applies to people who do not pay contractors). I love the luxury and peace of mind of having a domestic staff. An absolutely clean and well maintained house is my thing and priority. Some people like to spend their money on vacations and going out to eat or on spas. I on the other hand like to have a well organized and clean house and yard. DH and I host often, we have a thriving social life, my HS has friends over for projects and such. All this is possible for me only because I have help. I am not a superwoman. Being the super-mom is tiring and fruitless. I am however able to have a clean house, relaxed and peaceful atmosphere at home, no fights within the family, no resentments, ability of the family members to have hobbies, friends, or socialize - because someone else helps me out. I am grateful that I have that luxury. My cleaning lady does more for the happiness of my entire family and frees us up to do the things we want to do, than any other relative or friend. She is appreciated and she is rewarded. If my post makes anyone go ballistic - oh well! |
Anonymous
Yes we do the same. |