Ex-wife and son are sabotaging his opportunity to attend my alma mater

[Anonymous]

Elite university. I have a top connection that will green light his application. He has always loved the college, told everyone he hopes he can get in, wears all the crew neck sweatshirts, summer semester, the whole nine.

For the last two months he and his mother have been flakey when I ask about college application process, letters of rec, etc. I let it go as I figured he was busy with sports, enjoying senior year. But now it's crunch time, and looking at his facebook I'm beginning to suspect he wants to follow friends to a party college, which accepts everyone, is below his stats, has a high drop out rate, questionable employment prospects. I believe his mother is stoking this to spite me and/or keep him close to home.

I'm on the hook for paying half of his college expenses. I'm also on the hook until he's 26 for various other expenses if he's not gainfully employed.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you don't have a top connection with your son.

[Anonymous]

Why not take him out to dinner and talk about it. If all the info you get is from his Facebook page then you have a problem.

[Anonymous]

Hello exdh!
You are too controlling. Try connecting with our son as pp said. It is good that you are concerned about his welfare and his future. It does sound as though you are more concerned about yourself - at least that is how your post comes across.

[Anonymous]

He wears the crew neck sweatshirt? Give up on him. If only he wore the college hoodie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello exdh!
You are too controlling. Try connecting with our son as pp said. It is good that you are concerned about his welfare and his future. It does sound as though you are more concerned about yourself - at least that is how your post comes across.

Is this really the Ex DW?

[Anonymous]

He/They know they have you by the balls and will thus do what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello exdh!
You are too controlling. Try connecting with our son as pp said. It is good that you are concerned about his welfare and his future. It does sound as though you are more concerned about yourself - at least that is how your post comes across.

Is this really the Ex DW?

PP you are quoting here and I can't say for sure but if not it's a LOT of coincidences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He/They know they have you by the balls and will thus do what they want.

Sad but true.

[Anonymous]

Your son is the issue. Not the ex.

[Anonymous]

Is he an "elite" student? Regardless of whether you can get him in, will he do well there and be happy? (Being happy at a school has nothing to do with wearing their clothes.)

Is there a school that would match his academic profile that you don't consider a party school? Have you talked to him about what he wants out of his college years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello exdh!
You are too controlling. Try connecting with our son as pp said. It is good that you are concerned about his welfare and his future. It does sound as though you are more concerned about yourself - at least that is how your post comes across.

Is this really the Ex DW?

PP you are quoting here and I can't say for sure but if not it's a LOT of coincidences.

Np here. So what's up with your son then. Which college does he want to attend and why? I understand you want your x to connect with your son but I would think it's also in your best interest to help persuade your son to a decent future.

[Anonymous]

It makes no sense you are on the hook till 26, maybe till graduating college at 24, but 26?

Maybe your ex does not want him going there due to cost. Maybe she cannot afford the 1/2?

[Anonymous]

I think he's talking about 26 for health insurance.

Buddy- your post is not written as if you are an involved father. Get involved. It might be too late for this particular college situation to work to your satisfaction. . But it's never too late to develop a relationship with your son based on love, mutual respect and understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he's talking about 26 for health insurance.

Buddy- your post is not written as if you are an involved father. Get involved. It might be too late for this particular college situation to work to your satisfaction. . But it's never too late to develop a relationship with your son based on love, mutual respect and understanding.

A parent is allowed to keep the kid on till 26, but I cannot imagine a court enforcing it after they are out of school. Why wouldn't you want to provide health insurance. My husband's ex is nasty and refused to let him see the kids but we kept each on his insurance as long as we could just in case. The youngest got in a horrible car accident (girlfriend's fault, no surprise) and mom had dropped him from her insurance and thankfully we still had him on ours. Mom for what ever reason (we hear from her yearly at best) called to let us know, which is when we found out about the insurance and luckily I was able to give it to her so the bills could get paid.