Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It is insanity that people are in a huff about a pizza party once or twice during the whole year. You don’t provide lunch that day. Your kids enjoy it. This is such a tiny thing to help build the classroom community to have downtime for a special occasion - field day or Xmas time. I am
Baffled by any other stance than this is okay. I get lots of appreciative remarks from parents how they love the pics I sent of the class party- even from those that contributed zero. It’s a fricken special lunch 1-2 times out of 9+ months. My goodness.

No one is in a huff about a pizza party. People are in a huff that you expect a large operating budget as a room mom, refuse to scale back when you don't receive the money that you think you are owed, and then try to shame people who viewed it as a voluntary contribution and not as class dues.

Any reasonable person would lay out what they want to do as a room mom, ask for contributions, and then work with the money that you get. If people aren't contributing enough for a pizza party, then you scale back and don't have the pizza party. Likewise, if people aren't contributing enough for reasonable class gifts for x-mas, teacher appreciation week, end of year, birthdays, or whatever else, you scale back and give only 1 or two presents. You don't get to shame or judge people who aren't falling into line with what you want. And if you decide that the kids still need a pizza party, even if it's out of the budget, that's on you. The kids are not owed a pizza party, and you are not owed money from others to finance one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Usually those who do not give do so because - they don't read the emails, they don't want to give, they cannot be shamed into giving. Very rarely it is because of their economic situation. Other parents give on their behalf and they are happy to ride the gravy train. Oh well - you will always have the freeloaders in all situations in life. You just soldier on.

You're making a lot of assumptions. Maybe the family is having a medical crisis or some other crisis. Maybe they're not on the email list or don't check that email account. You don't know people's personal or financial situations and why they may or may not be contributing.

You should step down from being a room mom at least for next year. The entire thing seems like it's turning you into a bitter, judgmental person.

No one else wants to do the work of a room mom. Most people appreciate the work I do, and the few who do not contribute are covered by the generosity of other parents. And if they were having a medical/financial crisis these parents are savvy enough to start a GoFundMe. What do you do about the crisis of poor upbringing or the crisis of lack of civic sense? Sorry but no sympathy.

Not everyone with a crisis goes begging. You are not one to talk about a poor upbringing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:haven't read through this whole thread, but I think some of these parents really need to get their own lives. don't you have anything better to think about than throwing pizza parties for your kid's classroom?

I’m a room parent for an upper elementary classroom. The teacher asked to two class parties this year during lunchtime and includes pizza. She even told me where to order and how many of cheese and how many of pepperoni I should order. How would you like me to handle this?

If funds allow, say yes. If not, politely decline and say you can bring snacks to supplement the lunch the kids are already bringing/buying. This is not rocket science.

+1. The answer isn't browbeating or shaming parents into providing the funds. If it is that important to you not to tell the teacher you don't have money for this, then you should pay for it.

-1 The majority of parents can afford the class funds requested each year. We all know this. We know where they vacation. We know what they drive and where they live. We know what shoes their kids wear and what sunglasses they have. The point is it is frustrating when they don't contribute to the class fund. Yep, it's voluntary but it helps their kid as much as the rest of the class. No one can make them. It doesn't bother me that much but it is annoying. I agree no one should be shamed or browbeaten, but I also agree that it isn't right that a family who can easily afford to contribute $35 a year to the class fund just doesn't because they don't.

You ostensibly recognized the contribution is voluntary, but the rest of the post makes clear you really don't treat it as such.

That, and itnis none of your business how else they spend THEIR money.

If they choose to spend money on their fancy vacations but let other people spend money on their kids at school, they are selfish. I agree with the -1 pp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$35 x30 = $1050. No you didn’t bring need that much and no I don’t trust your judgment in spending it. Especially after you bought that ugly art piece from your friend as a class gift. It’s not that I can’t afford it ...

This is true too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$35 x30 = $1050. No you didn’t bring need that much and no I don’t trust your judgment in spending it. Especially after you bought that ugly art piece from your friend as a class gift. It’s not that I can’t afford it ...

We have 20 in our class. We have to give $100 to the pta for teacher appreciation week. (Mandatory from all classes) That’s $600. If I do $150 for Xmas and $150 for end of year that’s pretty reasonable. That’s less than $7.50 a person. We then have teacher appreciation week for the teacher $125, her birthday $50, that leaves $125 for the two class parties that take place over lunch. Pizza is about $50-$60 per party. I also get cards to accompany the gifts. Our gifts from the class are straight gift cards to places like amazon. I know you’re thinking I’m some thief or shifting money to my friend so she can make a shitty gift for the teacher. I’m actually trying to make it a nice year for the kids and help the teacher. No one else signed up to do the job so I stepped up. Did you? I can’t believe parents actually think not only are they not gonna give but they think I’m somehoe skimming off the top or having friends pocket a profit. [/quote
And this is true too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
And if they were having a medical/financial crisis these parents are savvy enough to start a GoFundMe. What do you do about the crisis of poor upbringing or the crisis of lack of civic sense? Sorry but no sympathy.

Many people keep their medical info private and won't use a GoFundMe. I'm the mom who had cancer treatments last spring, and I didn't start any kind of GoFundMe for all of my medical bills. With all of the medical appointments, stress, fatigue from treatments, trying to put on a brave front for the kids, and everything else, school things weren't really on my radar. I probably wouldn't have even noticed an email asking for things for school, or if I did notice, I would have forgotten an hour later. Nobody in my kids' classes would have known any of this, but I guess they would have seen your list of non-contributors and would now view me as a freeloader. Nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We have 20 in our class. We have to give $100 to the pta for teacher appreciation week. (Mandatory from all classes) That’s $600. If I do $150 for Xmas and $150 for end of year that’s pretty reasonable. That’s less than $7.50 a person. We then have teacher appreciation week for the teacher $125, her birthday $50, that leaves $125 for the two class parties that take place over lunch. Pizza is about $50-$60 per party. I also get cards to accompany the gifts. Our gifts from the class are straight gift cards to places like amazon. I know you’re thinking I’m some thief or shifting money to my friend so she can make a shitty gift for the teacher. I’m actually trying to make it a nice year for the kids and help the teacher. No one else signed up to do the job so I stepped up. Did you? I can’t believe parents actually think not only are they not gonna give but they think I’m somehoe skimming off the top or having friends pocket a profit.

You need to work within the budget that you have. If you want $700 and only get $400, then scale things back. Give one nice gift for teacher appreciation week, and let people just give their own presents on X-mas and the end of the year. Many people are already doing that anyway, so on top of the $150 card you're giving from the class, she's already getting another 10 or so $25 cards from people in the class. If it's not in the budget to do the pizza parties, then come up with something else. Or order pizza somewhere cheaper. Or only have 1 of the parties. Or use all of the money for pizza, and then have a signup genius for the other foods needed for the party.

No matter what choices you make, you ask for money, you get what you get, and then set your budget based on what you actually get, rather than what you wanted to get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me so happy that my kids attend normal, sane schools with no room parents. People just donate the requested items for parties and give the gifts that work for them. Keeping track of who did or didn't contribute would never fly, since half of the kids are FARMS. You rich McLean people are cracking me up. You all seem so high maintenance.

It doesn't have to be crazy with room parents or low FARMS schools. Our Bethesda school has room parents, but they made one fairly modest request at the beginning of the year and made it clear it was voluntary. The couple of parties have been very low key - juice, mini muffins, oranges, and some simple crafts. People did their own things for gifts.

This must be for lower elementary. A 6th grader and a mini muffin?

No, this isn't for a 6th grader. Aren't we all taking about elementary school here? Since kids move about come middle, you really don't have room parents the same way.

And that is kind of the point. Yes, it was only mini muffins (and juice and oranges which you ignored) and that's ok. The kids had fun and no one was counting on this for anything more than a little snack as a treat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
And if they were having a medical/financial crisis these parents are savvy enough to start a GoFundMe. What do you do about the crisis of poor upbringing or the crisis of lack of civic sense? Sorry but no sympathy.

Many people keep their medical info private and won't use a GoFundMe. I'm the mom who had cancer treatments last spring, and I didn't start any kind of GoFundMe for all of my medical bills. With all of the medical appointments, stress, fatigue from treatments, trying to put on a brave front for the kids, and everything else, school things weren't really on my radar. I probably wouldn't have even noticed an email asking for things for school, or if I did notice, I would have forgotten an hour later. Nobody in my kids' classes would have known any of this, but I guess they would have seen your list of non-contributors and would now view me as a freeloader. Nice.

I have health issues. My medications are around $1k a month. I would never ever ask and would go without over asking. Luckily we can afford them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It is insanity that people are in a huff about a pizza party once or twice during the whole year. You don’t provide lunch that day. Your kids enjoy it. This is such a tiny thing to help build the classroom community to have downtime for a special occasion - field day or Xmas time. I am
Baffled by any other stance than this is okay. I get lots of appreciative remarks from parents how they love the pics I sent of the class party- even from those that contributed zero. It’s a fricken special lunch 1-2 times out of 9+ months. My goodness.

No one is in a huff about a pizza party. People are in a huff that you expect a large operating budget as a room mom, refuse to scale back when you don't receive the money that you think you are owed, and then try to shame people who viewed it as a voluntary contribution and not as class dues.

Any reasonable person would lay out what they want to do as a room mom, ask for contributions, and then work with the money that you get. If people aren't contributing enough for a pizza party, then you scale back and don't have the pizza party. Likewise, if people aren't contributing enough for reasonable class gifts for x-mas, teacher appreciation week, end of year, birthdays, or whatever else, you scale back and give only 1 or two presents. You don't get to shame or judge people who aren't falling into line with what you want. And if you decide that the kids still need a pizza party, even if it's out of the budget, that's on you. The kids are not owed a pizza party, and you are not owed money from others to finance one.

Op overspent and did not do budget pizza which is the real issue. Pizza is $30-40 max per class. I have paid for it fully several times.

[Anonymous]

Wow 41 pages on this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It is insanity that people are in a huff about a pizza party once or twice during the whole year. You don’t provide lunch that day. Your kids enjoy it. This is such a tiny thing to help build the classroom community to have downtime for a special occasion - field day or Xmas time. I am
Baffled by any other stance than this is okay. I get lots of appreciative remarks from parents how they love the pics I sent of the class party- even from those that contributed zero. It’s a fricken special lunch 1-2 times out of 9+ months. My goodness.

No one is in a huff about a pizza party. People are in a huff that you expect a large operating budget as a room mom, refuse to scale back when you don't receive the money that you think you are owed, and then try to shame people who viewed it as a voluntary contribution and not as class dues.

Any reasonable person would lay out what they want to do as a room mom, ask for contributions, and then work with the money that you get. If people aren't contributing enough for a pizza party, then you scale back and don't have the pizza party. Likewise, if people aren't contributing enough for reasonable class gifts for x-mas, teacher appreciation week, end of year, birthdays, or whatever else, you scale back and give only 1 or two presents. You don't get to shame or judge people who aren't falling into line with what you want. And if you decide that the kids still need a pizza party, even if it's out of the budget, that's on you. The kids are not owed a pizza party, and you are not owed money from others to finance one.

Wrong. Plenty of people said a mini muffin or cupcake on a paper towel was fine. Many also said pizza was ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$35 x30 = $1050. No you didn’t bring need that much and no I don’t trust your judgment in spending it. Especially after you bought that ugly art piece from your friend as a class gift. It’s not that I can’t afford it ...

This is true too

That's just your school. My MCPS school does a 10$ donation (in a area with lots of million dollar homes) just because they don't want to hear bellyaching from parents who complain about the money. And as a result, room parents subsidize the cheap-o parents for class party supplies and gifts. And no, it is not $1050, it is more like 180$ if we're lucky (with 18 out of 24 parents contributing.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:haven't read through this whole thread, but I think some of these parents really need to get their own lives. don't you have anything better to think about than throwing pizza parties for your kid's classroom?

I’m a room parent for an upper elementary classroom. The teacher asked to two class parties this year during lunchtime and includes pizza. She even told me where to order and how many of cheese and how many of pepperoni I should order. How would you like me to handle this?

If funds allow, say yes. If not, politely decline and say you can bring snacks to supplement the lunch the kids are already bringing/buying. This is not rocket science.

+1. The answer isn't browbeating or shaming parents into providing the funds. If it is that important to you not to tell the teacher you don't have money for this, then you should pay for it.

-1 The majority of parents can afford the class funds requested each year. We all know this. We know where they vacation. We know what they drive and where they live. We know what shoes their kids wear and what sunglasses they have. The point is it is frustrating when they don't contribute to the class fund. Yep, it's voluntary but it helps their kid as much as the rest of the class. No one can make them. It doesn't bother me that much but it is annoying. I agree no one should be shamed or browbeaten, but I also agree that it isn't right that a family who can easily afford to contribute $35 a year to the class fund just doesn't because they don't.

You ostensibly recognized the contribution is voluntary, but the rest of the post makes clear you really don't treat it as such.

That, and itnis none of your business how else they spend THEIR money.

If they choose to spend money on their fancy vacations but let other people spend money on their kids at school, they are selfish. I agree with the -1 pp

NP. Maybe they don't care about spending money on a class party. You have no right to dictate what people spend their money on. Period. End of story. Stop acting like you're funding these kids' college educations out of your own pocket. It's a damn slice of pizza. Get over yourself or stop doing the job. I've been a room mom every year and have never been upset about anything. You just sound like a miserable person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wrong. Plenty of people said a mini muffin or cupcake on a paper towel was fine. Many also said pizza was ridiculous.

Wrong. Plenty of people said that smaller snacks were perfectly fine when pizza is clearly out of your budget. People don't think pizza is ridiculous per se. People think that whinging about other moms refusing to fund your pizza party, but insisting that there has to be pizza is ridiculous. If you decide that you want to gift the class a pizza party, that's on you. You don't get to be mad at other parents or try to publicly shame them because they aren't conforming to your room mom fantasies.

Again, for the zillionth time: You collect what people wish to contribute, and then you make your budget based on what you have. Not what you think people ought to have given you. It's really not a hard concept.