Why are so many women here so angry with / resentful toward women who stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that women's options have advanced far more quickly than children have evolved. Children are still born completely helpless and need high quality supervision (almost) 24/7 for the next five years. I quit working because I felt
Like I was
The only person who would be able to give our kids high quality, loving care. Sure a nanny is going to like your kid, but no one can be paid to love. Sure, your high-cost daycare
Promises a lot, but all the people who work there are poorly educated and just looking for a job.

Until we start holding childcare to the same education standards that we hold to ourselves, well educated women and men will be dropping out of the with the workforce
To raise their children.

Why didn't your husband stop working instead ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that women's options have advanced far more quickly than children have evolved. Children are still born completely helpless and need high quality supervision (almost) 24/7 for the next five years. I quit working because I felt
Like I was
The only person who would be able to give our kids high quality, loving care. Sure a nanny is going to like your kid, but no one can be paid to love. Sure, your high-cost daycare
Promises a lot, but all the people who work there are poorly educated and just looking for a job.

Until we start holding childcare to the same education standards that we hold to ourselves, well educated women and men will be dropping out of the with the workforce
To raise their children.

Why didn't your husband stop working instead ?

Biology vs society

Your mother should have aborted you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad that any form of family life is frowned upon by so-called feminists. I think you should start your own colony. No men and of course no children. No domestic duties at all, no interdependent relationships, definitely no manicures or yoga pants, only high paying, "important" careers.
You will need to recruit from the outside world of the rest of us lesser-than-thou actual real people. I mean since you cannot bear children or the burden of caring for them. That's patriarchy! But you will need an intensive training system for your new recruits as the will be coming from a variety of backgrounds.
Seriously I think you should consider this.

I don't frown upon it at all. Child rearing is very important. But I think we need to be realistic that it has consequences on women in the workforce. America has a lower rate of women working than Europe for instance. That has an effect on women in the workforce being treated equally. And if we really do think our men should be the primary providers, should we not accept them at higher rates into colleges than women? Women really do not need to attend college just to be mothers so then how much should college be subsidized? I think these are still issues our country is grappling with.

What should I have done then, not go to college and work some low paying job from 18 till I get married? No thanks. I made a lot of money in all those years in a high income field, and that helped me bring substantial equity into the marriage. Being educated makes me a better Mom. Being educated makes me a better citizen. Being educated is better for me personally, for my kids, for my community.

You can say that childrearing is important out of one side your mouth, but when you say that SAHM don't deserve an education you know how hypocritical you sound, right?

I think we as a society need to learn to educate our girls better. These days we tell each and every little girl that she can grow up to be an astronaut, a scientist, a doctor or a lawyer but we also stress that along with working hard in school, competing with colleagues at work for promotions and bigger salaries, they should also keep in mind to NOT wind up single and alone in their 30s and beyond.

So what happens is girls do very well in school, get good grades get into top colleges and then go on to take spots and scholarships at top professional schools.

Then you have the overmedicated big law attorney who is 31 and really truly just wants to get married. She meets a fellow big law attorney, gets married, promptly quits at 34 to stay home and have a baby. A few years later you will find her at your local barre studio with her huge diamond ring, tiny waist and expensive Lululemons working on her "seat."

This is not fair to men and women. Girls need to early on be coached on what kind of life they desire. Not every woman WANTS to be a SAHM not every woman WANTS to be a powerful CEO. We need to weed out the girls carefully when they are younger. Direct the maternal, home making types into lower tier schools where they can study fashion or liberal arts and their moms can help them find a high earning alpha to marry and have children with.

The ambitious brainy girls who want more, should be directed to better schools where they can get their degrees and run fortune 500 companies. These women would then, upon marriage, be less likely to drop out. Not every mom wants to stop working. We just need to as a society stop investing resources into women who only want to be SAHMs.

Similarly you have

you are coocoo for cocoa puffs, lady.

[Anonymous]

I don't care what other people do. I did absolutely hate the two years my wife didn't work because she complained constantly, realized she hated being home full time, went into a deep depression (which she was resistant to treating for six awful months), kind of sucked at the job, and nearly drove us into divorce. That was awful.

We are a zillion times happier with both of us working. Yes, it's hectic, but we both pitch in and do our part to make the machine that is our lives run smoothly.

Other people? Do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just need to as a society stop investing resources into women who only want to be SAHMs.

So you prefer that the people who watch your babies all day be uneducated? Because If SAHM don't deserve education, nannies and the like surely don't either. Why don't you run that by your kids nanny/aupair/daycare workers and see if they go for it?

There are very few of them that attended college. Most people that attend college want to be paid more. There isn't a need to attend college to do these jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just need to as a society stop investing resources into women who only want to be SAHMs.

So you prefer that the people who watch your babies all day be uneducated? Because If SAHM don't deserve education, nannies and the like surely don't either. Why don't you run that by your kids nanny/aupair/daycare workers and see if they go for it?

There are very few of them that attended college. Most people that attend college want to be paid more. There isn't a need to attend college to do these jobs.

I'm glad you are fine with your children being raised by uneducated people that you hire. Maybe it will teach them street smarts or something. I'm happy my kids are being raised by educated parents. Those primary years are so formative and I can't imagine letting an uneducated person be in charge of my child's well being for 9 hours a day.

Again, you'll sterilize the "go getter, career minded" women as well, right? They can't have the option to change their mind and get pregnant after "we" invest all of those resources in them. They owe "us" production.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that women's options have advanced far more quickly than children have evolved. Children are still born completely helpless and need high quality supervision (almost) 24/7 for the next five years. I quit working because I felt
Like I was
The only person who would be able to give our kids high quality, loving care. Sure a nanny is going to like your kid, but no one can be paid to love. Sure, your high-cost daycare
Promises a lot, but all the people who work there are poorly educated and just looking for a job.

Until we start holding childcare to the same education standards that we hold to ourselves, well educated women and men will be dropping out of the with the workforce
To raise their children.

Why didn't your husband stop working instead ?

Biology vs society

Your mother should have aborted you.

You've said nothing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that women's options have advanced far more quickly than children have evolved. Children are still born completely helpless and need high quality supervision (almost) 24/7 for the next five years. I quit working because I felt
Like I was
The only person who would be able to give our kids high quality, loving care. Sure a nanny is going to like your kid, but no one can be paid to love. Sure, your high-cost daycare
Promises a lot, but all the people who work there are poorly educated and just looking for a job.

Until we start holding childcare to the same education standards that we hold to ourselves, well educated women and men will be dropping out of the with the workforce
To raise their children.

Why didn't your husband stop working instead ?

Mine did. He is an awesome awesome dad and I have my career. It is great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that women's options have advanced far more quickly than children have evolved. Children are still born completely helpless and need high quality supervision (almost) 24/7 for the next five years. I quit working because I felt
Like I was
The only person who would be able to give our kids high quality, loving care. Sure a nanny is going to like your kid, but no one can be paid to love. Sure, your high-cost daycare
Promises a lot, but all the people who work there are poorly educated and just looking for a job.

Until we start holding childcare to the same education standards that we hold to ourselves, well educated women and men will be dropping out of the with the workforce
To raise their children.

Why didn't your husband stop working instead ?

Mine did. He is an awesome awesome dad and I have my career. It is great

Good for you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad that any form of family life is frowned upon by so-called feminists. I think you should start your own colony. No men and of course no children. No domestic duties at all, no interdependent relationships, definitely no manicures or yoga pants, only high paying, "important" careers.
You will need to recruit from the outside world of the rest of us lesser-than-thou actual real people. I mean since you cannot bear children or the burden of caring for them. That's patriarchy! But you will need an intensive training system for your new recruits as the will be coming from a variety of backgrounds.
Seriously I think you should consider this.

I don't frown upon it at all. Child rearing is very important. But I think we need to be realistic that it has consequences on women in the workforce. America has a lower rate of women working than Europe for instance. That has an effect on women in the workforce being treated equally. And if we really do think our men should be the primary providers, should we not accept them at higher rates into colleges than women? Women really do not need to attend college just to be mothers so then how much should college be subsidized? I think these are still issues our country is grappling with.

What should I have done then, not go to college and work some low paying job from 18 till I get married? No thanks. I made a lot of money in all those years in a high income field, and that helped me bring substantial equity into the marriage. Being educated makes me a better Mom. Being educated makes me a better citizen. Being educated is better for me personally, for my kids, for my community.

You can say that childrearing is important out of one side your mouth, but when you say that SAHM don't deserve an education you know how hypocritical you sound, right?

I think we as a society need to learn to educate our girls better. These days we tell each and every little girl that she can grow up to be an astronaut, a scientist, a doctor or a lawyer but we also stress that along with working hard in school, competing with colleagues at work for promotions and bigger salaries, they should also keep in mind to NOT wind up single and alone in their 30s and beyond.

So what happens is girls do very well in school, get good grades get into top colleges and then go on to take spots and scholarships at top professional schools.

Then you have the overmedicated big law attorney who is 31 and really truly just wants to get married. She meets a fellow big law attorney, gets married, promptly quits at 34 to stay home and have a baby. A few years later you will find her at your local barre studio with her huge diamond ring, tiny waist and expensive Lululemons working on her "seat."

This is not fair to men and women. Girls need to early on be coached on what kind of life they desire. Not every woman WANTS to be a SAHM not every woman WANTS to be a powerful CEO. We need to weed out the girls carefully when they are younger. Direct the maternal, home making types into lower tier schools where they can study fashion or liberal arts and their moms can help them find a high earning alpha to marry and have children with.

The ambitious brainy girls who want more, should be directed to better schools where they can get their degrees and run fortune 500 companies. These women would then, upon marriage, be less likely to drop out. Not every mom wants to stop working. We just need to as a society stop investing resources into women who only want to be SAHMs.

Similarly you have

you are coocoo for cocoa puffs, lady.

I second that, lol! I know many women who are very happy not having a man they may end up nursing someday. Some single, some divorced in good financial positions that are happily free. They travel, many have children and are very happy.
This is probably a very young person who obviously lives in a vacuum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just need to as a society stop investing resources into women who only want to be SAHMs.

So you prefer that the people who watch your babies all day be uneducated? Because If SAHM don't deserve education, nannies and the like surely don't either. Why don't you run that by your kids nanny/aupair/daycare workers and see if they go for it?

There are very few of them that attended college. Most people that attend college want to be paid more. There isn't a need to attend college to do these jobs.

I'm glad you are fine with your children being raised by uneducated people that you hire. Maybe it will teach them street smarts or something. I'm happy my kids are being raised by educated parents. Those primary years are so formative and I can't imagine letting an uneducated person be in charge of my child's well being for 9 hours a day.

Again, you'll sterilize the "go getter, career minded" women as well, right? They can't have the option to change their mind and get pregnant after "we" invest all of those resources in them. They owe "us" production.

Are you stupid? At daycare, your kids just need to be kept safe, loved and have a few activities. What the hell do you think a highly educated teacher will be doing with 1 year olds versus an uneducated one?

[Anonymous]

DCUM is such a weird place. In real life, I don't know anyone who is resentful toward women who stay at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is such a weird place. In real life, I don't know anyone who is resentful toward women who stay at home.

Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is such a weird place. In real life, I don't know anyone who is resentful toward women who stay at home.

Same here, I live out west thankfully.

Secure people don't waste oxygen on other's lifestyle choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is such a weird place. In real life, I don't know anyone who is resentful toward women who stay at home.

Same here, I live out west thankfully.

Secure people don't waste oxygen on other's lifestyle choices.

But you do waste time to post to condemn those who are talking about lifestyle choices. Hmmm