Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

I dont understand these conversations.

Women have always has kids teens-40s. The difference is that the average woman would have had a kid at 25 and 40, not either/or.

There are no guarantees but science suggests that the female bod is designed to lady to 72. So that gets a 41-year Old’s kid to 31.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are millions of men who become fathers at age 41.

This comment is obtuse. They don’t have to go through pregnancy and recovery.

[Anonymous]

Op, not if you want one.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not being cruel saying it is too old. What’s cruel is that we DO age. And people DO get ill. Everyone I know who had children in their 40s is putting their kids through their parents health issues. There are always exceptions but this is what I see as an older mom with DC in college.

I don't understand your point. That we all get old/sick/die one day?

The point is they are teens and early 20s and already care taking their parents. It’s an observation. You can have a baby at 40,42,45 ... anytime you want. Just there are often unexpected consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not being cruel saying it is too old. What’s cruel is that we DO age. And people DO get ill. Everyone I know who had children in their 40s is putting their kids through their parents health issues. There are always exceptions but this is what I see as an older mom with DC in college.

I don't understand your point. That we all get old/sick/die one day?

The point is they are teens and early 20s and already care taking their parents. It’s an observation. You can have a baby at 40,42,45 ... anytime you want. Just there are often unexpected consequences.

There are unexpected consequences when you walk out the door reach day.

I could not stand to live with such a pessimist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not being cruel saying it is too old. What’s cruel is that we DO age. And people DO get ill. Everyone I know who had children in their 40s is putting their kids through their parents health issues. There are always exceptions but this is what I see as an older mom with DC in college.

I don't understand your point. That we all get old/sick/die one day?

The point is they are teens and early 20s and already care taking their parents. It’s an observation. You can have a baby at 40,42,45 ... anytime you want. Just there are often unexpected consequences.

There are unexpected consequences when you walk out the door reach day.

I could not stand to live with such a pessimist.

You betcha. I met my husband while walking down the street in Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

For me, 41 would be too old for a third or more but for a first or second I’d do it—though my limit would probably be 42. Some of us just get started later and I think the negatives of a baby at that age are outweighed by the ability to have a first or second at all.

[Anonymous]

Not too old. Thinking of having my 4th at 38.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not too old. Thinking of having my 4th at 38.

38 ain’t 41.

[Anonymous]

Had my one and only at 40. Conceived naturally (on our first try), easy pregnancy and easy baby. But that’s me and I’m sure you could also get lots of anecdotal stories that go in the other direction. Do it if you want it. It’s not to old if you’re in good shape physically and can afford it. (Btw I had 4 friends my same age deliver within a few months of me.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had my one and only at 40. Conceived naturally (on our first try), easy pregnancy and easy baby. But that’s me and I’m sure you could also get lots of anecdotal stories that go in the other direction. Do it if you want it. It’s not to old if you’re in good shape physically and can afford it. (Btw I had 4 friends my same age deliver within a few months of me.)

+1 but had our only at 43. Shocking at how easily I got pregnant after stopping birth control 3 months earlier. Easy pregnancy, easy baby, easy toddler years.

Looking back in retrospect, I would do it the same all again. Youth spent getting an advanced degree, having fun, traveling, getting financial stability. Never wanted more than 1 child. Now life is easy and no worries about money.

Someone else might say having a child in their late 20’s was the right choice due to x, y, and z.

This question comes up all the time and it’s just pointless. Different ages are right for different families and situations. One scenario might not be the best for everyone.

Just live your life and don’t worry about numbers, what others think, and how society judges you. Focus on what is right for your family. You will be much happier, trust me.

[Anonymous]

No, it’s not too old. I’m 40 now and we are contemplating whether to have another. Biggest factors for me aren’t my age (tho obviously it does mean some risks), but stuff like taking more time off from work after finally getting back on track, and the fact that our current 3-person dynamic is working well.

My parents had their kids young— four kids between 20 and 30. They had no idea what they were doing, and made some very consequential mistakes. I remember very vividly realizing in my own 20s that my parents were basically children when they had us, and that they’d never really had a chance to become mature people. Now I’m 40 and my parents are relatively young, but they are still emotionally immature and not a fork of support. I am glad I waited to have children, and that I can give my daughter what I didn’t have— I loving, supportive, empathy-filled childhood. I think this will be a better legacy to leave her than an extra decade with me in my old age. I wish my own parents had waited to have kids, even though it would mean less total time with them. I think that time would have been better spent.

[Anonymous]

Huh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not too old. You can do this if you want.

But, I definitely noticed a big difference between being pregnant in my 40s vs being pregnant in my 30s. Everything about being pregnant seems to be a bit easier when you're younger. But, I got a late start because I went to graduate school, etc., so wasn't the best option for me when I was young. I'm extremely grateful for my kids, though, and would do it all again.

There's never a good time to have kids; there's never a bad time to have kids.

This is always such an odd justification. I graduated from college at 22, worked for a couple of years, started grad school, got married at 26, finished grad school, got a better job thanks to my new degree, and had children at 29 and 31. Also, I grew up UMC in New York and went to top universities so it isn’t like I was some small southern town sorority sister just going to college to get my mrs or something.