Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too old. You can do this if you want.

But, I definitely noticed a big difference between being pregnant in my 40s vs being pregnant in my 30s. Everything about being pregnant seems to be a bit easier when you're younger. But, I got a late start because I went to graduate school, etc., so wasn't the best option for me when I was young. I'm extremely grateful for my kids, though, and would do it all again.

There's never a good time to have kids; there's never a bad time to have kids.

This is always such an odd justification. I graduated from college at 22, worked for a couple of years, started grad school, got married at 26, finished grad school, got a better job thanks to my new degree, and had children at 29 and 31. Also, I grew up UMC in New York and went to top universities so it isn’t like I was some small southern town sorority sister just going to college to get my mrs or something.

Well, she said "graduate school etc." so I assume she was talking about laying a foundation for career and other things. Sometimes people don't go to grad school in their mid 20s either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too old. You can do this if you want.

But, I definitely noticed a big difference between being pregnant in my 40s vs being pregnant in my 30s. Everything about being pregnant seems to be a bit easier when you're younger. But, I got a late start because I went to graduate school, etc., so wasn't the best option for me when I was young. I'm extremely grateful for my kids, though, and would do it all again.

There's never a good time to have kids; there's never a bad time to have kids.

This is always such an odd justification. I graduated from college at 22, worked for a couple of years, started grad school, got married at 26, finished grad school, got a better job thanks to my new degree, and had children at 29 and 31. Also, I grew up UMC in New York and went to top universities so it isn’t like I was some small southern town sorority sister just going to college to get my mrs or something.

I'd say that's avg (not late or early). Early is teenage years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too old. You can do this if you want.

But, I definitely noticed a big difference between being pregnant in my 40s vs being pregnant in my 30s. Everything about being pregnant seems to be a bit easier when you're younger. But, I got a late start because I went to graduate school, etc., so wasn't the best option for me when I was young. I'm extremely grateful for my kids, though, and would do it all again.

There's never a good time to have kids; there's never a bad time to have kids.

This is always such an odd justification. I graduated from college at 22, worked for a couple of years, started grad school, got married at 26, finished grad school, got a better job thanks to my new degree, and had children at 29 and 31. Also, I grew up UMC in New York and went to top universities so it isn’t like I was some small southern town sorority sister just going to college to get my mrs or something.

I'd say that's avg (not late or early). Early is teenage years.

I totally agree, I’m just making the point that you can do “grad school etc” and still have kids at a completely reasonable age, even for the DC area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too old. You can do this if you want.

But, I definitely noticed a big difference between being pregnant in my 40s vs being pregnant in my 30s. Everything about being pregnant seems to be a bit easier when you're younger. But, I got a late start because I went to graduate school, etc., so wasn't the best option for me when I was young. I'm extremely grateful for my kids, though, and would do it all again.

There's never a good time to have kids; there's never a bad time to have kids.

This is always such an odd justification. I graduated from college at 22, worked for a couple of years, started grad school, got married at 26, finished grad school, got a better job thanks to my new degree, and had children at 29 and 31. Also, I grew up UMC in New York and went to top universities so it isn’t like I was some small southern town sorority sister just going to college to get my mrs or something.

I'd say that's avg (not late or early). Early is teenage years.

I totally agree, I’m just making the point that you can do “grad school etc” and still have kids at a completely reasonable age, even for the DC area.

Dp here. I also grew up in NY, went to college and grad school. I met DH when I was in grad school, got married at age 29 and had babies when I was 30, 32 and 38.

I’m 42 now and feel I am too old to have another child. I already have 3. If I was still in my 30s, I probably would go for a fourth. If I was newly married or just got a late start in trying, I absolutely would go for a baby at 41. If I had my first child at 39, I would also go for a second at 41.

For us, the risks are not worth it.

[Anonymous]

It's fine, especially around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had my one and only at 40. Conceived naturally (on our first try), easy pregnancy and easy baby. But that’s me and I’m sure you could also get lots of anecdotal stories that go in the other direction. Do it if you want it. It’s not to old if you’re in good shape physically and can afford it. (Btw I had 4 friends my same age deliver within a few months of me.)

+1 but had our only at 43. Shocking at how easily I got pregnant after stopping birth control 3 months earlier. Easy pregnancy, easy baby, easy toddler years.

Looking back in retrospect, I would do it the same all again. Youth spent getting an advanced degree, having fun, traveling, getting financial stability. Never wanted more than 1 child. Now life is easy and no worries about money.

Someone else might say having a child in their late 20’s was the right choice due to x, y, and z.

This question comes up all the time and it’s just pointless. Different ages are right for different families and situations. One scenario might not be the best for everyone.

Just live your life and don’t worry about numbers, what others think, and how society judges you. Focus on what is right for your family. You will be much happier, trust me.

So wise!

[Anonymous]

I had my second at 46. Everyone handles things differently. I do get tired, but I also am happier than I have ever been.

[Anonymous]

I’m 45 and mine are 15,13 and 5.
And that last one is the very best!!
Do it. You won’t regret it

[Anonymous]

Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

Do you live in nw dc? Know UMC parents around this area? The 45 year old mom with a 5 year old will fit in way better than the mom “half her age” who had a kid at 17 lol! Most parents are going to be much closer in age to the older mom than the younger one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

I don’t think that’s true at all in the DC area. I had my first at 28, and am more often than not, the youngest parent by 5 or more years.

[Anonymous]

I am 59 and my youngest is 18, turning 19 this year. It has been fine. No regrets!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

I don’t think that’s true at all in the DC area. I had my first at 28, and am more often than not, the youngest parent by 5 or more years.

Exactly! I would think a very young parent would have more trouble fitting in here.

Also even if you are from somewhere like Utah, keep in mind many Women there have their last baby around 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

I don’t think that’s true at all in the DC area. I had my first at 28, and am more often than not, the youngest parent by 5 or more years.

Exactly! I would think a very young parent would have more trouble fitting in here.

Also even if you are from somewhere like Utah, keep in mind many Women there have their last baby around 40.

This is true. DH had our first when I was 19 and he was 22. It is way more common to see much older mothers in this area. I would not say we do not “fit in” because we have a very nice circle of friends, but in the beginning there were definitely some questions. Haha Overall, most people worth being friends with in this area do not care about age as much as they do about what type of person you are. I would say to any women or man who is financially and emotionally prepared to have a baby to go for it no matter your age. 41 is definitely not too old!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

I don’t think that’s true at all in the DC area. I had my first at 28, and am more often than not, the youngest parent by 5 or more years.

Exactly! I would think a very young parent would have more trouble fitting in here.

Also even if you are from somewhere like Utah, keep in mind many Women there have their last baby around 40.

This is true. DH had our first when I was 19 and he was 22. It is way more common to see much older mothers in this area. I would not say we do not “fit in” because we have a very nice circle of friends, but in the beginning there were definitely some questions. Haha Overall, most people worth being friends with in this area do not care about age as much as they do about what type of person you are. I would say to any women or man who is financially and emotionally prepared to have a baby to go for it no matter your age. 41 is definitely not too old!

*DH and I. Haha not just DH.