RTO and No Childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many women on DCUM claim to be highly educated, but they are not clever.

I waited to have my child (SMC) until I had enough saved to pay for childcare. It was not my employer's responsibility. I also worked out an exchange with a co-work er who worked a different shift. Ya gotta be clever.

When we were school aged, my mom worked 9-3 on school days, plus 8-4 Saturdays. She loved the schedule; as she could do the bookkeeping and payroll on Saturday in a relatively quiet office. On Saturdays, we kids were watched by Dad, did our homework, watched TV, helped Dad make pancakes, helped with the yard work, did our chores, rode bikes with dad to 7-11 for slurpees, etc etc etc.

My parents did not have children until there was money in the bank to pay for childcare until school-age.

You know, clever.

Even if people wait, like we did and save sometimes its still not enough nor does everyone trust others with child care - I've seen some horrible stuff. Child care would have been more than my take home for one child so I quit. People complain that there are not enough people in my profession but that's because many of us quit or go part time once we had kids. You make it sound easy. My husband works early mornings/evenings and will now have a 2-3 hour commute on top of that so there is no flexibility during the week. And, we don't need child care, its the teenage driving. You are looking at it as just school aged kids but MS and HS kids also need parents help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ironic that Musk brought Little X with him to the Senate today.

The nanny was probably with them.

So you assume he has childcare even though no one's seen it. But you assume thousands of federal employees don't have childcare because... ?

Hint: it's because they're women. No one in this lengthy thread assumes dad is WFH without childcare, or that a SAHD is watching kids.

+100

I made a similar point earlier on in this thread. This whole thing is rooted in misogyny.

For whatever reason people are angry at the thought of a mom being able to balance a full time job and have the flexibility to get your kids from the bus after school or pop out to a school event mid-day.

If a dad does this type of thing he’s basically celebrated. But I think there’s a) a lot of women out there who had it much harder (either having to leave the workforce or outsource a ton of childcare) and b) men who sneer at having to compete with “a mom” in the workplace.

Many dads I know have far more flexibility than moms. My husband did till recently.

Dads are also celebrated for doing basic child care while moms are often labeled as unreliable.

Dad's don't do child care for their own kids. They parent them.

[Anonymous]

Moan, moan, moan.

Oh! the horrors of taking care of your own children.

Find opposite shifts to work. Tons of couples do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Moan, moan, moan.

Oh! the horrors of taking care of your own children.

Find opposite shifts to work. Tons of couples do this.

Or, just have one parent not work and then don't complain there aren't enough workers to do those jobs. I prefer caring for my own kids so I quit. Simple.

[Anonymous]

As everyone says, children will change your life.

Finding as new job, or working a different shift, may be among those changes.

Get ready...

[Anonymous]

I am a personal trainer. As soon as I had my first baby, I changed all my clients over to weekends. (in their homes) I work 7a-5p *in person* Sat and Sun. I have 5 days a week to be with my kids. DH has the weekends with kids and we split all household duties -- though we do have a cleaner 1x per week. We both love to cook. I like doing laundry and he likes doing the shopping. We live in a tiny house close to downtown so he is in his office (RTO) within 30 minutes (by bus-- that leaves me the car for the kids' doc appmts, library, etc.

Different from before kids? It sure is. It all works out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Military has subsidized child care. I quit as my income with one child barely covered day care.

https://www.militarytimes.com/news/your-military/2022/10/13/air-force-daycare-workers-allegedly-forced-kids-to-fight-each-other/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a personal trainer. As soon as I had my first baby, I changed all my clients over to weekends. (in their homes) I work 7a-5p *in person* Sat and Sun. I have 5 days a week to be with my kids. DH has the weekends with kids and we split all household duties -- though we do have a cleaner 1x per week. We both love to cook. I like doing laundry and he likes doing the shopping. We live in a tiny house close to downtown so he is in his office (RTO) within 30 minutes (by bus-- that leaves me the car for the kids' doc appmts, library, etc.

Different from before kids? It sure is. It all works out.

When I was in the hospital I met a nurse tech who did this. She worked 12 hours each on Sat and Sun. She had her kids M-F and her ex-DH had them weekends. She said it worked beautifully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As everyone says, children will change your life.

Finding as new job, or working a different shift, may be among those changes.

Get ready...

I like this post. It represents reality. You don't keep one schedule, or one job, as your life circumstances progress and change. Things may be "out-of-balance" for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ironic that Musk brought Little X with him to the Senate today.

The nanny was probably with them.

So you assume he has childcare even though no one's seen it. But you assume thousands of federal employees don't have childcare because... ?

Hint: it's because they're women. No one in this lengthy thread assumes dad is WFH without childcare, or that a SAHD is watching kids.

+100

I made a similar point earlier on in this thread. This whole thing is rooted in misogyny.

For whatever reason people are angry at the thought of a mom being able to balance a full time job and have the flexibility to get your kids from the bus after school or pop out to a school event mid-day.

If a dad does this type of thing he’s basically celebrated. But I think there’s a) a lot of women out there who had it much harder (either having to leave the workforce or outsource a ton of childcare) and b) men who sneer at having to compete with “a mom” in the workplace.

Many dads I know have far more flexibility than moms. My husband did till recently.

Dads are also celebrated for doing basic child care while moms are often labeled as unreliable.

Dad's don't do child care for their own kids. They parent them.

We hope so. Did they work on phonics today?

[Anonymous]

I’ve had to go to the office throughout so it’s hard for me to understand the perspective of lacking childcare. If you were lucky enough to work from home for five years with no childcare recognize it for the privilege it was and not something that was ever going to happen forever. I hope you were wise enough to save up that money you didn’t spend that you can now use for childcare! You have it so much better than the majority of people (including almost all working class and low income people) who have been going in all along.

[Anonymous]

I am a fed. My kids are now in HS. Pre- COVID, they were in daycare, then school with before and aftercare. During COVID, my husband quit his job to take care of the kids. Post COVID, they didn’t need full time care.
The thing I am seeing is people that had very young children during COVID, or started having kids during or right after, have taken advantage of WFH and did not arrange childcare.
To be honest, it pisses me off. Initially there was a childcare shortage and I understood. But the shortage has become better (particularly for preschool and before/after) and they are just trying to save money at this point. One of the guys I work with said his 5 & 6 year old just play on their iPads all summer, and they try to get them outside in the evening. WTF. It short changes the government - I know they still need attention during the day - and it’s crappy for the kids.
For infants, parents need to get on a waitlist as soon as they get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many women on DCUM claim to be highly educated, but they are not clever.

I waited to have my child (SMC) until I had enough saved to pay for childcare. It was not my employer's responsibility. I also worked out an exchange with a co-work er who worked a different shift. Ya gotta be clever.

When we were school aged, my mom worked 9-3 on school days, plus 8-4 Saturdays. She loved the schedule; as she could do the bookkeeping and payroll on Saturday in a relatively quiet office. On Saturdays, we kids were watched by Dad, did our homework, watched TV, helped Dad make pancakes, helped with the yard work, did our chores, rode bikes with dad to 7-11 for slurpees, etc etc etc.

My parents did not have children until there was money in the bank to pay for childcare until school-age.

You know, clever.

Even if people wait, like we did and save sometimes its still not enough nor does everyone trust others with child care - I've seen some horrible stuff. Child care would have been more than my take home for one child so I quit. People complain that there are not enough people in my profession but that's because many of us quit or go part time once we had kids. You make it sound easy. My husband works early mornings/evenings and will now have a 2-3 hour commute on top of that so there is no flexibility during the week. And, we don't need child care, its the teenage driving. You are looking at it as just school aged kids but MS and HS kids also need parents help.

NP, counterpoint, your complaining makes it seem harder than it needs to be. By being pragmatic with your choices (even before kids), it can be done. For example - we let go of the dream of a big house to live close-in and chose careers that work well with having children. doesn't sound like you and your husband are making good choices.

[Anonymous]

Moms without childcare can be become child-carers. You could stay home with your own kid(s) and watch another child or two.

Benefits: you get to raise your own kids and earn money while while doing it. Win -win.

[Anonymous]

85% of adults do not work jobs that can be done from home. Why are we even putting this issue front and center? As another poster said, get creative like we 85-percenters do!