RTO and No Childcare.
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Anonymous
If I brought my toddler and nanny to work, there would be hell to pay. |
Anonymous
| He’s weirdly obsessed with just that one kid. |
Anonymous
It’s the “X”. He’s been obsessed with that letter since x.com days.. |
Anonymous
So you assume he has childcare even though no one's seen it. But you assume thousands of federal employees don't have childcare because... ? Hint: it's because they're women. No one in this lengthy thread assumes dad is WFH without childcare, or that a SAHD is watching kids. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
+100 I made a similar point earlier on in this thread. This whole thing is rooted in misogyny. For whatever reason people are angry at the thought of a mom being able to balance a full time job and have the flexibility to get your kids from the bus after school or pop out to a school event mid-day. If a dad does this type of thing he’s basically celebrated. But I think there’s a) a lot of women out there who had it much harder (either having to leave the workforce or outsource a ton of childcare) and b) men who sneer at having to compete with “a mom” in the workplace. |
Anonymous
Many dads I know have far more flexibility than moms. My husband did till recently. |
Anonymous
So so true. My husband is a senior executive in top 50 corp. He’s held various political and non political jobs in the defense world of government. I have been a career government employee in highly competitive offices with lots of opportunities to move to the private sector. I haven’t because—despite my low pay—my husband has a TON of flexibility that I do not have and is rewarded for “helping” with his kids. FWIW, he’s hired a ton of women and given them lots of responsibility and doesn’t care where or when they work, as long as they get the job done. I love love government service/-have wanted to do it since I was a kid-/and his salary and flexibility enable that. But man, thinking that I am entitled and lazy (like they said in the Bush Administration) or stonewalling policy and goofing off all day like they’re saying now? I worked all through the holiday and pulled an all nighter last weekend in an effort to make more than ten million for the American public. What’d you do for America last week? |
Anonymous
Yep. When my male co-worker leaves to be with his kids, he's a hero who is not afraid to live his values. When I do it, I'm not sufficiently dedicated to work. |
Anonymous
Agree 100% with everything you said, but wanted to add something about pandemic WFH. The first 6 - 12 months of the pandemic did two things: (1) play to the strengths of women who were already used to being very efficient and flexible to manage both work and family, and (2) highlight how little a certain, mostly-male managerial class actually does at work. (Yes, not all men, etc. - but there were a LOT of men who had no idea what to do without an office to wander around and chat in.) I think these men felt useless or outperformed in their jobs at the same time they were getting overwhelmed at home by the work-life juggling that was more familiar to female peers and their spouse. Then, as the pandemic dragged on and WHF was widely accepted, women who had been underemployed for family reasons (e.g., to do that after-school run or keep that part-time or WFH-friendly job that didn't pay much) were able to advance. Those women were always capable, but commuting to an office kept them from doing important family stuff so they didn't take those jobs or promotions. There are more women in the workforce full time, and more women in leadership, because of widespread WFH - and certain people hate that. |
Anonymous
Not PP but my mom is dead and my MIL lives several states away. I hope you're teaching your grandkids better critical thinking skills than you are showing right now. We are very fortunate that our daycare and ES before/aftercare stayed open during the pandemic. But I know of others that closed. The aftercare at my nephews' school closed and for a while my sister/BIL just got along without because BIL was working from home (sister is a teacher in a different district). They're old enough now to come home on their own but AFAIK the aftercare program never came back. The only person I know IRL who is trying to work at home with a baby is a neighbor whose "helpful mother" can only come 3 days per week. She somehow works and cares for the baby simultaneously for the other 2 days. I don't think it's a money thing, just a strong belief that kids shouldn't be in daycare before age 1. |
Anonymous
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There is no one is my circle who sits and stares at a computer screen all day at their dining room table.
Go get to work like the rest of us do. Take a few (unpaid?) weeks off while you find a babysitter. Y'know, real world stuff. |
Anonymous
This! They tried to game the system and save some money. Too bad so sad |
Anonymous
Dads are also celebrated for doing basic child care while moms are often labeled as unreliable. |
Anonymous
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So many women on DCUM claim to be highly educated, but they are not clever.
I waited to have my child (SMC) until I had enough saved to pay for childcare. It was not my employer's responsibility. I also worked out an exchange with a co-work er who worked a different shift. Ya gotta be clever. When we were school aged, my mom worked 9-3 on school days, plus 8-4 Saturdays. She loved the schedule; as she could do the bookkeeping and payroll on Saturday in a relatively quiet office. On Saturdays, we kids were watched by Dad, did our homework, watched TV, helped Dad make pancakes, helped with the yard work, did our chores, rode bikes with dad to 7-11 for slurpees, etc etc etc. My parents did not have children until there was money in the bank to pay for childcare until school-age. You know, clever. |