Why do some people stay at the same job

[Anonymous]

OP - what do YOU do for a living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOW. Don't you sound like a greedy little b1tch. If your DH is happy in his job then there is absolutely no reason that you should be pushing him to find a better paying one. If you're concerned about money, how about YOU get a job (or a higher paying job if you actually have one)?

OP says she is the breadwinner in family, and would be happy if he made $30k as long as he was treated bettern

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOW. Don't you sound like a greedy little b1tch. If your DH is happy in his job then there is absolutely no reason that you should be pushing him to find a better paying one. If you're concerned about money, how about YOU get a job (or a higher paying job if you actually have one)?

I disagree. It sounds like she is trying to help him get better benefits—no raise in 7 years. Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

The three people I know who have done this suffer from a real lack of self esteem. It's sad, but true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has been with the same job for 20 years. It’s his first job coming out of college. I’ve been trying to push him to switch to a different company for more than a decade and he sporadically applies to a few jobs once in a blue moon but nothing has come out of it. His current company has switched hands several times and he has not gotten a raise in 7 years. Benefits are subpar with no 401k matching. His field is computer programming so should be in demand yet somehow he’s ok working 8+ hours being severely underpaid for his field. I can’t understand why I need to push him to leave at all!! Is anyone or know anyone who’s in this type of situation?

Your DH is a 40 year old programmer. He should be happy he has a job still. Ageism is vile in tech, after 30 you better move in to business development or management or you are canned. Many programmers are NOT GOOD at BD and manage (I mean they are computer geeks, I’m one too). So don’t look a gift horse in a mouth. If he has stuck this long, he is likely a known quantity. Is he at a govt contractor?

I work at a Bay Area tech company, and this is just not true at my company. There's even a [/b]whole different promotion track for genius programmers and architects and what-have-you that maintains their individual contributor status as they get older, more experienced, and even more valuable.

[b][b]

Hmm so a SEPARATE BUT EQUAL promotion track for OLD geniuses. So they already categorize you different simply on account of your age, and you are only promoted if you are fing genius. So the average old programmer like OP DH goes where? I can guess…

Well compared to the DC area employers, who only promote people managers, I am not complaining about others promoting old geniuses. On a second note, 40 is probably not going to fit in at twitter, but Bay Area has a LOT of small companies, plus VC/PE that back them up, where SOME team will gear toward older members. I know because I am joining a PE team of 10, most of them graduated colleague in the 80s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm straight up lazy and don't feel like proving myself all over again.

This. Simply being content is severely underrated on this board (and in this life, TBH).

[Anonymous]

My field is pretty niche. There are only a few places where I could do the exact type of work I want to.

I am interested in the work/field.

I know how to do my job....but there is enough going on to make me think so I am not just a robot.

I like my co-workers a lot. I hear a lot of horror stories about horrible co-workers.

I have a lot of vacation. 7 weeks. I don't want to start over with 3 and in my field negotiating leave isn't an option.

I have decent flexibility. Need to leave early for a kid thing? No problem.

Been here 18 years with no plan on leaving. DH says he won't be surprised if I retire from here....in 15-20y.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My field is pretty niche. There are only a few places where I could do the exact type of work I want to.

I am interested in the work/field.

I know how to do my job....but there is enough going on to make me think so I am not just a robot.

I like my co-workers a lot. I hear a lot of horror stories about horrible co-workers.

I have a lot of vacation. 7 weeks. I don't want to start over with 3 and in my field negotiating leave isn't an option.

I have decent flexibility. Need to leave early for a kid thing? No problem.

Been here 18 years with no plan on leaving. DH says he won't be surprised if I retire from here....in 15-20y.

I was in a similar position, but things can change overnight. The Csuit hired a new managing director, who brought in a whole new team of 30 within a year, and dispositioned my direct manager's influence. Most of the senior IC people left, 8 month later, most of the mid-level IC left too.
I made a move, joined a great team, but not for long. a new policy came out and our team was less important than before, all of the mid-level employee left by end of year 1. I got slapped with the bottom of forced ranking and had to leave unless I want to stay at my level for another 1.5 year to be eligible for raise consideration again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm straight up lazy and don't feel like proving myself all over again.

This. Simply being content is severely underrated on this board (and in this life, TBH).

Third this. I am not even lazy—I just use my energies for the things that give me joy (my family and hobbies).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My field is pretty niche. There are only a few places where I could do the exact type of work I want to.

I am interested in the work/field.

I know how to do my job....but there is enough going on to make me think so I am not just a robot.

I like my co-workers a lot. I hear a lot of horror stories about horrible co-workers.

I have a lot of vacation. 7 weeks. I don't want to start over with 3 and in my field negotiating leave isn't an option.

I have decent flexibility. Need to leave early for a kid thing? No problem.

Been here 18 years with no plan on leaving. DH says he won't be surprised if I retire from here....in 15-20y.

I was in a similar position, but things can change overnight. The Csuit hired a new managing director, who brought in a whole new team of 30 within a year, and dispositioned my direct manager's influence. Most of the senior IC people left, 8 month later, most of the mid-level IC left too.
I made a move, joined a great team, but not for long. a new policy came out and our team was less important than before, all of the mid-level employee left by end of year 1. I got slapped with the bottom of forced ranking and had to leave unless I want to stay at my level for another 1.5 year to be eligible for raise consideration again.

So? That can happen at new companies too.

[Anonymous]

Another lazy person here. Work is just a paycheck for me. I do the bare minimum and focus on my family where it really counts. Been with my company for 10 years, same job, minor raises, work from home, very flexible, lots of vacation, and don't plan to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has been with the same job for 20 years. It’s his first job coming out of college. I’ve been trying to push him to switch to a different company for more than a decade and he sporadically applies to a few jobs once in a blue moon but nothing has come out of it. His current company has switched hands several times and he has not gotten a raise in 7 years. Benefits are subpar with no 401k matching. His field is computer programming so should be in demand yet somehow he’s ok working 8+ hours being severely underpaid for his field. I can’t understand why I need to push him to leave at all!! Is anyone or know anyone who’s in this type of situation?

Your DH is a 40 year old programmer. He should be happy he has a job still. Ageism is vile in tech, after 30 you better move in to business development or management or you are canned. Many programmers are NOT GOOD at BD and manage (I mean they are computer geeks, I’m one too). So don’t look a gift horse in a mouth. If he has stuck this long, he is likely a known quantity. Is he at a govt contractor?

I work at a Bay Area tech company, and this is just not true at my company. There's even a [/b]whole different promotion track for genius programmers and architects and what-have-you that maintains their individual contributor status as they get older, more experienced, and even more valuable.

[b][b]

Hmm so a SEPARATE BUT EQUAL promotion track for OLD geniuses. So they already categorize you different simply on account of your age, and you are only promoted if you are fing genius. So the average old programmer like OP DH goes where? I can guess…

Well compared to the DC area employers, who only promote people managers, I am not complaining about others promoting old geniuses. On a second note, 40 is probably not going to fit in at twitter, but Bay Area has a LOT of small companies, plus VC/PE that back them up, where SOME team will gear toward older members. I know because I am joining a PE team of 10, most of them graduated colleague in the 80s.

Well yeah, VC and PE are old people. It’s usually founders who cashed out or old executives. That’s the rub of tech, if you didn’t make $10M by 30 you don’t have “it”/aren’t a genius so big-bye.

OP DH is in tech, is a staff line employee at 40+. No VC is hiring him, he’s likely not a genius, so all this edge cases don’t apply.

Working at a small startup could be an option, I’ve seen them hire “grown-ups” to make the company seem more legit to investors but generally the pay is crummy and the risk of it failing is crazy high, and you likely won’t see much IPO/SPAC upside unless you are C-suite.

S

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm straight up lazy and don't feel like proving myself all over again.

This. Simply being content is severely underrated on this board (and in this life, TBH).

Well OP does all the financial heavy lifting in the family, while DH coasts on her income, that’s why he is content and she is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has been with the same job for 20 years. It’s his first job coming out of college. I’ve been trying to push him to switch to a different company for more than a decade and he sporadically applies to a few jobs once in a blue moon but nothing has come out of it. His current company has switched hands several times and he has not gotten a raise in 7 years. Benefits are subpar with no 401k matching. His field is computer programming so should be in demand yet somehow he’s ok working 8+ hours being severely underpaid for his field. I can’t understand why I need to push him to leave at all!! Is anyone or know anyone who’s in this type of situation?

Your DH is a 40 year old programmer. He should be happy he has a job still. Ageism is vile in tech, after 30 you better move in to business development or management or you are canned. Many programmers are NOT GOOD at BD and manage (I mean they are computer geeks, I’m one too). So don’t look a gift horse in a mouth. If he has stuck this long, he is likely a known quantity. Is he at a govt contractor?

I work at a Bay Area tech company, and this is just not true at my company. There's even a [/b]whole different promotion track for genius programmers and architects and what-have-you that maintains their individual contributor status as they get older, more experienced, and even more valuable.

[b][b]

Hmm so a SEPARATE BUT EQUAL promotion track for OLD geniuses. So they already categorize you different simply on account of your age, and you are only promoted if you are fing genius. So the average old programmer like OP DH goes where? I can guess…

Well compared to the DC area employers, who only promote people managers, I am not complaining about others promoting old geniuses. On a second note, 40 is probably not going to fit in at twitter, but Bay Area has a LOT of small companies, plus VC/PE that back them up, where SOME team will gear toward older members. I know because I am joining a PE team of 10, most of them graduated colleague in the 80s.

Pretty damming (sic) of tech that a 40 year old wouldn’t fly at Twitter which is a fairly old and established public company now. Ageism runs deep there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has been with the same job for 20 years. It’s his first job coming out of college. I’ve been trying to push him to switch to a different company for more than a decade and he sporadically applies to a few jobs once in a blue moon but nothing has come out of it. His current company has switched hands several times and he has not gotten a raise in 7 years. Benefits are subpar with no 401k matching. His field is computer programming so should be in demand yet somehow he’s ok working 8+ hours being severely underpaid for his field. I can’t understand why I need to push him to leave at all!! Is anyone or know anyone who’s in this type of situation?

Your DH is a 40 year old programmer. He should be happy he has a job still. Ageism is vile in tech, after 30 you better move in to business development or management or you are canned. Many programmers are NOT GOOD at BD and manage (I mean they are computer geeks, I’m one too). So don’t look a gift horse in a mouth. If he has stuck this long, he is likely a known quantity. Is he at a govt contractor?

I work at a Bay Area tech company, and this is just not true at my company. There's even a [/b]whole different promotion track for genius programmers and architects and what-have-you that maintains their individual contributor status as they get older, more experienced, and even more valuable.

[b][b]

Hmm so a SEPARATE BUT EQUAL promotion track for OLD geniuses. So they already categorize you different simply on account of your age, and you are only promoted if you are fing genius. So the average old programmer like OP DH goes where? I can guess…

Well compared to the DC area employers, who only promote people managers, I am not complaining about others promoting old geniuses. On a second note, 40 is probably not going to fit in at twitter, but Bay Area has a LOT of small companies, plus VC/PE that back them up, where SOME team will gear toward older members. I know because I am joining a PE team of 10, most of them graduated colleague in the 80s.

Well yeah, VC and PE are old people. It’s usually founders who cashed out or old executives. That’s the rub of tech, if you didn’t make $10M by 30 you don’t have “it”/aren’t a genius so big-bye.

OP DH is in tech, is a staff line employee at 40+. No VC is hiring him, he’s likely not a genius, so all this edge cases don’t apply.

Working at a small startup could be an option, I’ve seen them hire “grown-ups” to make the company seem more legit to investors but generally the pay is crummy and the risk of it failing is crazy high, and you likely won’t see much IPO/SPAC upside unless you are C-suite.

S

Bay area is indeed competitive. My friend (early 40s) only know a programming language from the 70s, who managed to land a job with a grocery chain in MD for a salary between OP's husband and 200k. So there are places for everyone, just need to go get it.