Why do some people stay at the same job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm straight up lazy and don't feel like proving myself all over again.

This. Once I got to the point where I could do my job well while being basically on autopilot, I decided I didn't want to leave. I have a lot more time and mental energy to devote to things I actually care about in life. I get paid well enough so money wouldn't be my motivator to find something new.

Same. I also like my team and have a great boss, who has also been here a long time. I get bored sometimes but ultimately I'm comfortable where I am and a significant change in salary would require a lot more stress. I've also been here long enough that I now get a lot of vacation time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm straight up lazy and don't feel like proving myself all over again.

This. Once I got to the point where I could do my job well while being basically on autopilot, I decided I didn't want to leave. I have a lot more time and mental energy to devote to things I actually care about in life. I get paid well enough so money wouldn't be my motivator to find something new.

I totally agree, however, men can be a bit insecure when their spouse choose not to autopilot. They feel like we owe them our success and always undermine in other parts of our lives. It's mentally taxing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he likes his job. And/or the people he works. And/or the mission of the work/company. Money isn't always the primary driver for people.

Not sure if this is the case for OP's husband, but it's definitely why I've stayed at my job for 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he likes his job. And/or the people he works. And/or the mission of the work/company. Money isn't always the primary driver for people.

Not sure if this is the case for OP's husband, but it's definitely why I've stayed at my job for 10 years.

I doubt that considering most of the people he has worked with have left or gotten laid off. Maybe 2? People are like him who have stayed for more than 10 years. I think he’s comfortable doing what he’s familiar with but not sure if he really loves it. I think he could be doing similar things at a company with higher pay and better benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has been with the same job for 20 years. It’s his first job coming out of college. I’ve been trying to push him to switch to a different company for more than a decade and he sporadically applies to a few jobs once in a blue moon but nothing has come out of it. His current company has switched hands several times and he has not gotten a raise in 7 years. Benefits are subpar with no 401k matching. His field is computer programming so should be in demand yet somehow he’s ok working 8+ hours being severely underpaid for his field. I can’t understand why I need to push him to leave at all!! Is anyone or know anyone who’s in this type of situation?

Your DH is a 40 year old programmer. He should be happy he has a job still. Ageism is vile in tech, after 30 you better move in to business development or management or you are canned. Many programmers are NOT GOOD at BD and manage (I mean they are computer geeks, I’m one too). So don’t look a gift horse in a mouth. If he has stuck this long, he is likely a known quantity. Is he at a govt contractor?

He’s in a private company that has changed hands several times i

[Anonymous]

What about you? Do you switch up jobs often? Maybe he is keeping his stable comfortable job so you can pursue your interests.

[Anonymous]

Seniority when it comes to lay offs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is the same way, he has a very strong background, works super hard, has deep expertise and sincere relationships, yet he is unable to make a move to get what he truly deserves. He is making 1/3 of his market value.

When his friends in the company all left for better jobs, he sent out a few resumes, but made no tailoring to the job description.

How do you feel about this? Have you tried pushing him?

Nope, I am quite busy pushing myself. My first manager out of school forced me out of my comfort zone (her team) and told me to "go get what I want". So when I am not pregnant/maternity leave, I am working to prove myself in a new team/new project or networking for the next job. I only made suggestions to my DH here and there because he doesn't seem happy/fulfilled in his role. I have 0 issue if he makes 30k as long as he is happy or doesn't channel that unfulfillment to me.

Then I would let him manage his career. If he applied to some jobs and didn’t get any offers, he’s not that in demand. What is your field, can you boost your salary to make up for his? It sounds like he doesn’t complain that much, but if he is shy or introvert, a new job is TORTURE.

If he is a programmer, he is very much in demand. The only difference is some people will send out 300 resumes in a month to put themselves in front of the right hiring manager, going on interviews to advocate for themselves, and he hides in his shell. Some of my programmer colleagues with 6 years of exp are landing 200k remote offers with small no-name companies. They aren't doing the latest machine learning research and development either, just some front end basic visualization stuff. A lot of these companies will die for a mature, experienced team member who isn't job hopping every 1.5 years too!

In my personal experience (Finance), the more $ an employer is willing to shell out, the more friendly, down to earth they are, so don't let being introvert divert him from his true potential.

I wish he would try harder to get his resume out there. I think he’s applied to 5 jobs this year… after me pushing him. He’s not really an introvert but the interview process is more rigorous than what it used to be and his skills in that is lacking because he hasn’t applied to jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he likes his job. And/or the people he works. And/or the mission of the work/company. Money isn't always the primary driver for people.

Not sure if this is the case for OP's husband, but it's definitely why I've stayed at my job for 10 years.

I doubt that considering most of the people he has worked with have left or gotten laid off. Maybe 2? People are like him who have stayed for more than 10 years. I think he’s comfortable doing what he’s familiar with but not sure if he really loves it. I think he could be doing similar things at a company with higher pay and better benefits.

I can understand, but in the end of the day, it's his decision and his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I wish he would try harder to get his resume out there. I think he’s applied to 5 jobs this year… after me pushing him. He’s not really an introvert but the interview process is more rigorous than what it used to be and his skills in that is lacking because he hasn’t applied to jobs.

Interview can also be demoralizing, one of the recruiter was desperate to place people and set me up for an interview that's way below my level, he also aggressively pushed my comp expectation down to "not price me out of the right opportunity". So I went on the interview, met the hiring manager, who is less experienced and fluffed his feather the whole time. It was awful.
The team that end up hiring me spent all of the interview time telling me about their steady team, great culture, flexibility and day to day, and then slapped a compelling $$$ on the offer letter. This whole experience is a big lesson for me to never settle for the basic idiots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is the same way, he has a very strong background, works super hard, has deep expertise and sincere relationships, yet he is unable to make a move to get what he truly deserves. He is making 1/3 of his market value.

When his friends in the company all left for better jobs, he sent out a few resumes, but made no tailoring to the job description.

How do you feel about this? Have you tried pushing him?

Nope, I am quite busy pushing myself. My first manager out of school forced me out of my comfort zone (her team) and told me to "go get what I want". So when I am not pregnant/maternity leave, I am working to prove myself in a new team/new project or networking for the next job. I only made suggestions to my DH here and there because he doesn't seem happy/fulfilled in his role. I have 0 issue if he makes 30k as long as he is happy or doesn't channel that unfulfillment to me.

Then I would let him manage his career. If he applied to some jobs and didn’t get any offers, he’s not that in demand. What is your field, can you boost your salary to make up for his? It sounds like he doesn’t complain that much, but if he is shy or introvert, a new job is TORTURE.

If he is a programmer, he is very much in demand. The only difference is some people will send out 300 resumes in a month to put themselves in front of the right hiring manager, going on interviews to advocate for themselves, and he hides in his shell. Some of my programmer colleagues with 6 years of exp are landing 200k remote offers with small no-name companies. They aren't doing the latest machine learning research and development either, just some front end basic visualization stuff. A lot of these companies will die for a mature, experienced team member who isn't job hopping every 1.5 years too!

In my personal experience (Finance), the more $ an employer is willing to shell out, the more friendly, down to earth they are, so don't let being introvert divert him from his true potential.

How much does OP's husband make? A GS14 makes $150k, so maybe he is already making $200k but she thinks he should be making FAANG money?

Also, of those people landing $200k remote jobs, with 6 years of experience, so you are saying they are like 27? Not 40? Right??? How many 40 year programmers are being scooped up for these sweet remote jobs. I'll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is the same way, he has a very strong background, works super hard, has deep expertise and sincere relationships, yet he is unable to make a move to get what he truly deserves. He is making 1/3 of his market value.

When his friends in the company all left for better jobs, he sent out a few resumes, but made no tailoring to the job description.

How do you feel about this? Have you tried pushing him?

Nope, I am quite busy pushing myself. My first manager out of school forced me out of my comfort zone (her team) and told me to "go get what I want". So when I am not pregnant/maternity leave, I am working to prove myself in a new team/new project or networking for the next job. I only made suggestions to my DH here and there because he doesn't seem happy/fulfilled in his role. I have 0 issue if he makes 30k as long as he is happy or doesn't channel that unfulfillment to me.

Then I would let him manage his career. If he applied to some jobs and didn’t get any offers, he’s not that in demand. What is your field, can you boost your salary to make up for his? It sounds like he doesn’t complain that much, but if he is shy or introvert, a new job is TORTURE.

If he is a programmer, he is very much in demand. The only difference is some people will send out 300 resumes in a month to put themselves in front of the right hiring manager, going on interviews to advocate for themselves, and he hides in his shell. Some of my programmer colleagues with 6 years of exp are landing 200k remote offers with small no-name companies. They aren't doing the latest machine learning research and development either, just some front end basic visualization stuff. A lot of these companies will die for a mature, experienced team member who isn't job hopping every 1.5 years too!

In my personal experience (Finance), the more $ an employer is willing to shell out, the more friendly, down to earth they are, so don't let being introvert divert him from his true potential.

How much does OP's husband make? A GS14 makes $150k, so maybe he is already making $200k but she thinks he should be making FAANG money?

Also, of those people landing $200k remote jobs, with 6 years of experience, so you are saying they are like 27? Not 40? Right??? How many 40 year programmers are being scooped up for these sweet remote jobs. I'll wait.

I am almost 40, just put down the ego, sell your willingness to pick up on new tools, mature approach to relationship management, and desire for stability. don't shoot yourself in the foot before you even start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is the same way, he has a very strong background, works super hard, has deep expertise and sincere relationships, yet he is unable to make a move to get what he truly deserves. He is making 1/3 of his market value.

When his friends in the company all left for better jobs, he sent out a few resumes, but made no tailoring to the job description.

How do you feel about this? Have you tried pushing him?

Nope, I am quite busy pushing myself. My first manager out of school forced me out of my comfort zone (her team) and told me to "go get what I want". So when I am not pregnant/maternity leave, I am working to prove myself in a new team/new project or networking for the next job. I only made suggestions to my DH here and there because he doesn't seem happy/fulfilled in his role. I have 0 issue if he makes 30k as long as he is happy or doesn't channel that unfulfillment to me.

Then I would let him manage his career. If he applied to some jobs and didn’t get any offers, he’s not that in demand. What is your field, can you boost your salary to make up for his? It sounds like he doesn’t complain that much, but if he is shy or introvert, a new job is TORTURE.

If he is a programmer, he is very much in demand. The only difference is some people will send out 300 resumes in a month to put themselves in front of the right hiring manager, going on interviews to advocate for themselves, and he hides in his shell. Some of my programmer colleagues with 6 years of exp are landing 200k remote offers with small no-name companies. They aren't doing the latest machine learning research and development either, just some front end basic visualization stuff. A lot of these companies will die for a mature, experienced team member who isn't job hopping every 1.5 years too!

In my personal experience (Finance), the more $ an employer is willing to shell out, the more friendly, down to earth they are, so don't let being introvert divert him from his true potential.

How much does OP's husband make? A GS14 makes $150k, so maybe he is already making $200k but she thinks he should be making FAANG money?

Also, of those people landing $200k remote jobs, with 6 years of experience, so you are saying they are like 27? Not 40? Right??? How many 40 year programmers are being scooped up for these sweet remote jobs. I'll wait.

I am almost 40, just put down the ego, sell your willingness to pick up on new tools, mature approach to relationship management, and desire for stability. don't shoot yourself in the foot before you even start.

I'm over 40 (like OP's DH) and I have had zero luck using this approach despite being certified in a bunch of new technology like Azure, AWS, etc and taking a GA Tech cert on ML. I have gotten tons of offers from startups, who pay less than my federal contracting role, but no place that places anything like $200k+. What positions are you applying to at what sort of companies? forget OP's DH, i'll take your advice though I think for her DH it will be VERY hard to transition as 40+ programmer into something lucrative without a LOT of proven skills updating (looking for a public GitHub profile with some snazzy projects and certs), which is a lot to do along with having a family and a full time job, and is hardly fool proof because of ageism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm over 40 (like OP's DH) and I have had zero luck using this approach despite being certified in a bunch of new technology like Azure, AWS, etc and taking a GA Tech cert on ML. I have gotten tons of offers from startups, who pay less than my federal contracting role, but no place that places anything like $200k+. What positions are you applying to at what sort of companies? forget OP's DH, i'll take your advice though I think for her DH it will be VERY hard to transition as 40+ programmer into something lucrative without a LOT of proven skills updating (looking for a public GitHub profile with some snazzy projects and certs), which is a lot to do along with having a family and a full time job, and is hardly fool proof because of ageism.

I can only speak for my field, try look into fintech - Affirm, stripe, square, Avant, afterpay.
What worked for me is to tailor my skill description by matching the "buzz word" preferred by the hiring manager, pay attention to their use of words and tone and adapt during the interview. ask tactical questions to demonstrate your interest, they might want to know why you are looking for a move, come up with a few answers such as "my current job is siloed, i am looking to wear multiple hats", "my current work is project based, i am looking for more stability", "my role is too predictable, i want to delivery value/be apart of high performance team". you get the idea. absolutely make sure you bring in a set of differentiable skills outside of tech capabilities, ie soft skills, team building insights, relationship management, problem solving, when you talk about these skills, tie it back to what the HM needs so they feel heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is the same way, he has a very strong background, works super hard, has deep expertise and sincere relationships, yet he is unable to make a move to get what he truly deserves. He is making 1/3 of his market value.

When his friends in the company all left for better jobs, he sent out a few resumes, but made no tailoring to the job description.

How do you feel about this? Have you tried pushing him?

Nope, I am quite busy pushing myself. My first manager out of school forced me out of my comfort zone (her team) and told me to "go get what I want". So when I am not pregnant/maternity leave, I am working to prove myself in a new team/new project or networking for the next job. I only made suggestions to my DH here and there because he doesn't seem happy/fulfilled in his role. I have 0 issue if he makes 30k as long as he is happy or doesn't channel that unfulfillment to me.

Then I would let him manage his career. If he applied to some jobs and didn’t get any offers, he’s not that in demand. What is your field, can you boost your salary to make up for his? It sounds like he doesn’t complain that much, but if he is shy or introvert, a new job is TORTURE.

If he is a programmer, he is very much in demand. The only difference is some people will send out 300 resumes in a month to put themselves in front of the right hiring manager, going on interviews to advocate for themselves, and he hides in his shell. Some of my programmer colleagues with 6 years of exp are landing 200k remote offers with small no-name companies. They aren't doing the latest machine learning research and development either, just some front end basic visualization stuff. A lot of these companies will die for a mature, experienced team member who isn't job hopping every 1.5 years too!

In my personal experience (Finance), the more $ an employer is willing to shell out, the more friendly, down to earth they are, so don't let being introvert divert him from his true potential.

How much does OP's husband make? A GS14 makes $150k, so maybe he is already making $200k but she thinks he should be making FAANG money?

Also, of those people landing $200k remote jobs, with 6 years of experience, so you are saying they are like 27? Not 40? Right??? How many 40 year programmers are being scooped up for these sweet remote jobs. I'll wait.

I am almost 40, just put down the ego, sell your willingness to pick up on new tools, mature approach to relationship management, and desire for stability. don't shoot yourself in the foot before you even start.

If OP's DH has been at the same job for 20 years he's likely working on maintaining C++ or JAVA code, not skills in hire demand and probably not full-stack.